Realization
by Stormfoedt
Summary: Lucy is left with a weird feeling after Lisanna returns from Edolas. She feels hurt, and it only makes her feel worse when she sees the great person that makes her feel this way. Lisanna is SO nice, the perfect girl. So why... does she feel left behind? Rated T due to language... and other stuff..
1. Chapter 1

I felt it for the first time when we arrived at Earthland, and found out that Lisanna were amongst us again, and I think I saw Natsu crying for the first time. Just barely. Just a tiny sting in my heart. A tiny, its bitsy sting. And of course, I felt bad in an instant. Like, what the hell. His friend that died two years ago just came back to life. Why did I feel sad? Even if it was just that tiny speck, I wanted to feel their happiness wholeheartedly. Of course I smiled with them all.

The tiny prick in my heart returned when I saw all of them greeting her back, acting similar to when I returned. I gave away a small sigh of contempt towards myself. This is nothing. That is what I told myself. Of course it was true. These people were family, me being one of them. Not like... I tossed the thought away as I approached the girl this joy was all about. She was all I would've imagined with her being Mira's sister and all, and more. Nice, sweet, innocent, including. That made me feel even worse about myself, and I felt another sting in my heart. Soon people started drinking, Natsu and Gray started fighting, and I saw Lisanna laughing, probably remembering the good old days. I smiled sweetly at her, then got up and did a number in yawning loudly, before heading for the door.

It was late, so I excused myself from Mira, who smiled at me before turning her soft gaze at the long lost sister, and I headed home. Really, I had no right feeling this way. No right whatsoever. I returned home, took a long bath, and then headed to my desk to write a letter to mom. It had been a little while, after all. I told her about my adventures, about the joy of finding a long lost familymember, and my glee when finally arriving home. Afterwards I went to my bed and fell asleep having restless dreams. That, was day one.

First week. After a few days of partying, where I gladly participated, without drinking of course, things started settling down. Well, as much as one could ever call Fairy Tail settled down. People started returning to their old habits might be more covering. Cana drank in her corner, Erza ate her cake, Nab stood in the front of the notice board looking for his perfect job. My team sat in their respective areas as well. Erza sat eating her cake, Gray sat thinking by the bar, and Natsu... Oh yeah, he sat talking animately to Lisanna with Happy sitting on the table staring at her affectionately. She was his mother, after all. I smiled at the sight, and went to the bar.

"Mira, can I have a Strawberry Milkshake please?" I said, and the barmaid looked away from her sister to smile sweetly at me before going to prepare my order. Another prick in my heart. Damn, I am the worst...

"Hey, Lucy!" I turned around smiling curiously as the pink haired mage came over to me.

"Hm?" I asked, and smiled at Lisanna as well to acknowledge her presense. I sighed inwardly as I awaited the dreaded request. Wait.. dreaded? Come on, Lucy, get yourself together.

"Me and Lisanna want to go on a mission. Want to tag along?" He said, grinning at me expectedly. Poor, poor Lisanna. This guy was really too dense for his own good. I set up a more serious face.

"Nope. Have fun, I have plans," I said, turned around again as Mira returned with my shake. I did have plans, actually. Shopping plans came over mission plans.

"Awww... come on, Luce. We're a team!" he complained, and I shot him a cold look, making him wince ever so slightly.

"Too bad, 'cause I don' wanna," I said, and then put the straw in my mouth to enjoy my shake.

"I guess I'll just wait then..." he said in a really depressed voice. For heavens sake!

"Natsu! Lisanna already said she wanted to go, so go! You can't just go off moping when you already have someone to go with," I said in a scolding voice, and he looked at his childhood friend, that nodded encouragily. Then he lit up, and handed the request over to Mira, who smiled and approved it. Before I could turn around again they were gone. There it was, that sting, slightly stronger, but I chose to ignore it.

"By the gods, that boy is dense sometimes," I mumbled before focusing back on my shake. I wished her good luck, considering the denseness of her crush.

"I hope they'll be alright..." the barrmaid mumbled, and I looked at her.

"Hey, take it easy. I know you're worried and all, but with her being your sister she got to be strong. Besides, Natsu'll protect her," I said to her, smiling to show I meant my words. Really, he would, 'cause I already knew he would do EVERYTHING to avoid losing her again. You know what they say, burnt child fears fire. Not that fire would hurt the boy, but he had been abandoned enough times to know he didn't want it to happen again.

"I know, I know, just fretting. Can't help it. How are you with all this, though?" amazing how she turned the conversation over to me just like that.

"I'm glad she's back. It made everyone smile again," I said thoughtfully while disappearing within my thoghts. Yes, they were smiling. That was the most important thing.

"Good to hear, dear," she said, but looked a bit worried nonetheless. Had to be the nerves of letting her sister go. Natsu was known for attracting as much trouble as he solved, after all. I finished my milkshake and sat there, deep in thought for a while, when I suddenly realized something important.

"Shit, my rent!" I exclaimed, and ran for the noticeboard. Something, something something...

"Erza, you got time off today?" I asked across the hall.

"Sorry, Lucy, but I actually got plans. WHat about Natsu?" she answered, and I scanned the hall.

"Oi, Gray? You got time?" I asked, and he shrugged. I felt a deadly aura directed at me from behind a pillar. Damn, bad move on my side.

"Not really, I'm planning on relaxing for a couple of days, why?" he answered in his usual, bored tone. I quickly called my own death warranty off by telling him it wasn't important before looking at the board again. Just me, then. Come on, where are you parfect job... THERE! I ripped the paper off and ran over to Mira. She looked at the paper, then at me.

"You sure you don't want to wait for Natsu? He might be hurt 'cause you left him, you know." she said carefully while looking at the mission described on the paper. I shrugged it off without much thought.

"I'll be fine, Mira. If I hurry up I might even be done before thy return," I smiled brightly, and she sighed, but gavee her approval. In any case, he already was on a mission without me. What would he have to say if I left on one too? Oh, that's right, Natsu logic. Never expect it to actually be logical... I sighed, and decided on my way to my apartment to go for option number two. Return before he notices. That meant I had to leave tonight.


	2. Chapter 2

***Next chapter. It was already written, so I might as well release it now... Hope you like it. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Enjoy ;)***

I sighed as I finally got back to my apartment. The mission, to subdue a gang of non-magical thugs had been a success. The reward, 100.000 jewels, now reduced to 30.000 due to a very annoyed landlady waiting outside my door, was safely in my possession. Everything had gone smoothly, except from a few... mishaps. I sighed as I stared at myself in the mirror.

Practically half my face, from my chin to just beneath my eye, was covered by a bruise. How I got it? I practically fell onto the foot of a guy, and he chose to apply some extra force to the impact. I also MIGHT have a cracked rib, if the soreness was anything to go by. That I got fair and square though, a consequense from the fight rather than me falling over my own to feet.

"I can't let him see me like this..." I mumbled to myself. Yes, I were thinking about the pink haired idiot that somehow would find a way to blame himself. My other teammates would do that as well, to some degree, but Natsu always managed to bring it to another level with his stupid logic. He always blamed himself for everything that happened when he wasn't around. Slowly I touched the sore spot. Wasn't that bad, really. I had had worse. I sighed again.

"Open the gate of the Twins. Gemini!" I said as I clutched the key, and the spirits appeared in front of me. Two blue things wearing nothing but loin cloths.

"Please transform into me. I kind of need a favor..." I started, and the twins appeared as me, without any of the damages.

"Ok, I need you to show up at the guild and look for a mission. If you find something easy, then grab it, if not, just look for a while before returning here. Act like me, and avoid talking if necessary. Thank you SO much for this, I owe you one," I looked at them and tried using my best puppy eyes. The me in front of me nodded and smiled broadly.

"No problem. We'll be back soon!" the me said before waving and heading off. I smiled, and went to the desk, sat down and leaned back. Relief flooded through me, and I could relax. Oh.. I really needed a bath... I smelled horrible!

As I finished filling up the bathtub, Gemini returned smiling while holding a piece of paper in her/their hand.

"I found the perfect mission! You might want to leave soon, though, 'cause Natsu is heading this way and he didn't look happy," the me smiled brightly before she started to glow, and then disappeared. Oh god... he didn't realize, did he? No, he couldn't have... could he? Oh, well, I would have a bath regardless of his moods. Maybe he wasn't even headed here. What did I know?

I sighed as I felt the warmth envelope me, soothing my sore muscles and.. well, hurting my ribs ever so slightly. Couldn't be helped, and besides, the rest felt too good to let the pain bother me.

"Lucy!" of course it couldn't last. At least this was during my bath rather than a surprise after.

"What is it, Natsu?" I asked, knowing my voice sounded a tad annoyed. Instead of answering he tried prying the handle down. I panicked for a slight second.

"Natsu! I'm in the bathroom for a REASON you know. Don't come in here!" I yelled, thankful for remembering to lock the damn door for once.

"What's wrong? Are you hurt or something?" he asked in return, but refrained from trying to get in, though I clearly saw movements indicating that he still held the handle.

"I'm bathing, that's what's wrong, idiot. Now tell me what you want or leave," Might sound a bit harsh, but he needed that kind of treatment to get the point. Dense idiot.

"Then why did you send your spirit to the guild?" he asked. Demanded, kind of. How the hell did he know?

"Did you lose your hearing or something? I'm bathing. Now, if that is all, leave me alone so I can relax!" just go away, for goodness sake. I needed to relax, and then, apparently, I needed to go on another mission. I hadn't expected Gemini to actually find a job, but what was done was done.

"Not until I know I'm talking to Lucy and not... Germain?" he said, and started tugging the handle again. Really, if he wanted to, that piece of metal would hardly stop him for long. I tried getting up from the tub to keep the damn door shut. I scurried out of the tub, slipped and fell with a shriek.

"Oi?! You alright in there?" he started pulling harder as I sat up.

"My love, you called?" Loke suddenly appeared, and then went beet red. I screamed on the top of my lungs, got up.

"Loke, get the fuck out!" the door flung open just in time for a very red and scared lion spirit to be flung out, bringing the dragonslayer with him to the floor. I appeared in the doorway, red and with my hand raised in a fist.

"And stay out, the both of you." I seethed, and then realized I still were naked. My already red face got several degrees hotter as I turned around to close the door, only to see the handle melted.

Embarassment went to rage in an instant, and right back to embarassment when I turned around and were met by Natsu that with wide eyes touched my damaged face.

"What did you do?" he asked, and then spotted my bruised side. I snapped. Right there.

"Natsu..." I said with a dangerously low voice. He didn't catch on on time. After literaly kicking him out the window I fell to my knees and gave a small moan. Yes. Definitely a cracked rib.

Back at the guild I pressed my head against the bar and sighed. I had gotten a cream with Cancer to hide the worst of the bruise, so at least I didn't look like some abused child or something. Oh, the irony behind that statement.

"Yo. Natsu is sulking in a corner, I take it you know why?" the icemage seemed amused, and ordered an iced beer for himself. I groaned.

"That bad, huh?" he chuckled, and I raised my head.

"You have no idea..." I said with a scowl, and he only smirked.

"Oh, by the way. Erza found a mission for Team Natsu to go on. Seems that Lisanna wants to join in, so it'll be the five of us. Well, six including Happy," he said, and I flinched.

"Shit, I forgot about my mission. Thanks Gray, but I'll have to pass on this one!" I smiled as I got up and started walking towards the door. I totally forgot about that. I felt a tinge in my heart, but let it be.

"I must insist that you participate, Lucy," Erza said, standing in my way with a serious frown on her face. I stopped dead in my tracks.

"I'm sorry, Erza, really, but I got to do that mission." I said, smiled halfheartedly.

"Is this not a way for you to avoid Lisanna?" she demanded to know, and now I got confused. Oh, it might actually look that way. I cocked my head to the side a little, and then shook my head.

"I really do got a mission, you know. Just ask Mira. I'll go on the next one, 'kay?" I smiled, and tried going around her. A sword was in my way, and now I got really worried.

"We'll wait, so don't be long," she said, her eyes glaring and suggesting I hurry up. I gulped slightly, then nodded. I hadn't really gotten a look at the thing, but it would seem that a silent night at home was out of the question. I nodded, and she let me go.

"Hey, Luce, wait up!" I heard from behind, and I lifted my good arm (you know, the one on the side without the cracked rib) as I turned around, gently stopping him in his path.

"Just me, silly. It's a fairly easy request, so I'll be fine," I hope...

"But you're hurt... You still didn't tell me how," he pouted, and I sighed.

"I fell down the stairs, it's no biggy really. I'll be fine. You need to pack for whatever mission Erza had in mind, or she'll be crank with you. I'll be back in not time, promise," if there are any gods out there, please don't make me a liar. The boy would never let me live through it. If nothing else Mira seemed to have avoided telling the boy about my former mission. He pouted some more, but let me go. I kept walking, hoping this perfect job wouldn't be as much of a hassle like the last one.


	3. Chapter 3

***Just because I can, and because this chapter practically wrote itself. I hope you all like it. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

The guild doors opened, and there I stood, with my arm secured over Loke's shoulder. He was very annoyed, that much I could tell, though really, I were okay. Somehow.

"My master kindly declines participating in this mission of yours," he said stiffly, and I groaned, let go of the guy.

"Don't be such a killsport, Loke. I promised I'd go, and I keep my promises," I said, and he rolled his eyes, gave me a light bump, which made me stand on that wrecked foot of mine. I glared at him, but stood firm.

"YOU, have spent WAY too much time with these.. THESE BAFOONS! Now you list.."

"Forced closure," I said, and since he had been in the middle of ranting, he didn't have time to prevent me from sending him back to the spirit world.

"There we go. Now, it's been two days. You guys ready yet?" I smiled at my mates, that stared at me. Erza then nodded in approval, and we set out.

"Hey, Lisanna, how have you been doing. I don't think I've gotten to talk to you recently," I said as she reached me, and we walked side by side. By the gods, my foot was going to kill me soon. Ironically, I actually sprained it after falling down the stairs. I now wore black sweatpants to hide the fact that it was badly swollen and supported by a stick and some bandages to keep me from bending it too much. Until moments ago I had been unable to stand on it, but pride does wonderful things to your resolve.

"Ah, you know, just catching up with everyone. I can't believe how everyone's changed, and at the same time they're all the same after 2 years," she smiled sweetly, and I smiled back, glad to hear that she found her place. She was the kind of girl that made everyone smile.

"I'm glad to hear that," I said, and decided to ask more specifically how it went on the mission she and Natsu went on at a later point, when he was out of hearing range. Nothing like some good gossip, right? Obviously it went well considering that Lisanna now was allowed to tag along Team Natsu. I felt another sting, but it quickly subsided in the vortex of pain surrounding my ankle as I stepped on it a little harder than anticipated. It made me loose my footing for a moment, before I steadied myself and smiled.

"Are you alright? You looked kind of pained there for a moment," Lisanna said, suddenly worried. Indeed, she did not deserve any contempt. I could see why she got along so well with everyone. She was girly, strong, dependable and caring. Where did I belong in all of this?

"Ah, yeah, only stumbled a bit. No worries," I said, smiling again, before deciding to move on to a safer topic.

"So, what kind of mission is this?" I asked casually, might as well find out.

"Oh, we are to subdue a wyvern in the Snowy Mountains," she said, smiling. Really, now.

"And then we are to enter this unknown cave in order to retrieve a treasure that was stolen from our client," she continued.

"Uhm... what do you need me for, exactly?" I said, kind of addressing the whole group though I still were talking to Lisanna.

"Aww... Luce, we're a team, of course you have to come," Natsu said and joined our conversation just like that. I sighed, and chose to leave them there. So I basically ran around that bloody mansion for a full day in order to get the privilege of freezing my ass off in some mountain while my team-mates almost killed themselves in their usual, reckless manner for then to go into a cave we probably didn't know the whereabouts to in order to get some shiny treasure we would have to carry all the way down the mountain. Just great. Just fucking marvelous. I grumbled to myself while my mood rocketed itself downwards when a very warm hand suddenly grabbed my hand thus forcing me to stop.

"What is it, Natsu?" I asked without turning around.

"Why are you limping?" he asked, and I ripped my arm away from his grasp. Or at least I tried to.

"I fell down the stairs. Now let me go, or Erza is going to have our heads for being late," I grumbled. We had lagged behind both the scarlet and the ice mage, and she would be displeased if we missed the train because of that. That much I knew.

"You fell down the stairs again?" he said, obviously not convinced. I felt annoyance come over me again, and were just about to act upon it...

"Come one, Natsu, Lucy's right. Erza is SCARY when she's angry," Lisanna whinced at the thought of bringing such fury down upon them, and quickly grabbed both mine and Natsu's hand and ran to catch up. By the hells both burnt and frozen, my foot was going to fall off before this mission was over...

We found ourselves on the train, Erza sitting with a slightly scared Gray, and Natsu laying with his head on Lisannas lap adjacent to the two. I sat across the middle half of the wagon, staring out the window and doing my best to ignore Loke that sat next to me. Happy lay on my lap, and I absentmindedly patted him as he slept.

"Come on, you can't ignore me forever," he whined, and I sent him a killer glare that could rival Erza. Did I mention my lack of sleep these last couple of days? The request I had handled was to help my client move into this mansion. I had summoned Taurus and Virgo to help carry the heavy things, and had used my past as heiress to the Heartfilia Konzern to deduct where things should be placed. It had taken hours, and I didn't allow myself a break since the wrath of Erza would be upon me if I took too long. Then the owner insisted I stay the night, and of course he was a lecher... Thus, in the middle of the night he was there all of a sudden, and I had to make a run for it. I fell down the stairs, then Loke beat the crap out of the client which meant no reward, and he had to carry me into the nearby forest where he bandaged my foot. We had to walk half the night since no train would leave from the station in the town the client lived in, and then I passed out at some point, sleeping for half a day. When we finally arrived in Magnolia it was late, or early, depending on the perspective, and I barely managed to fix my attire, taking a quick wash and changing into something more comfy before I headed to the guild. Long story short, I were tired and cranky.

"You cost me my reward, Loke. Now go back, already, I know you are as tired as I am..." I said, and he sighed. Yeah, well, we were both short on temper today.

"Yet you INSISTED on going on this STUPID quest. As tired as I am, thanks to YOU and your stupid decisions, I can't leave you alone like this," he practically growled back. A staredown commenced. The atmosphere in the wagon was clearly not the best at the moment.

"Erza, when will we arrive?" I asked across the wagon. She had been looking at us for some time, seemingly dragged between amusement and annoyance.

"Several hours remain, Lucy. Show some patience," she said, and I slammed my head against the table.

"I'll sleep if you go back," I grumbled, and heard a sigh of victory.

"You'll sleep and then I go back," he demanded, and I looked up at him.

"Ugh... FINE," I said, and he smiled. The smile of a winner. Damn him. Revenge time! I smirked, and proceeded to lay my head on his lap, closing my eyes and adjusting my pose so Happy lay on top of me. I felt Loke stiffen, and victory was ultimately mine. Then he carefully started playing with my hair as I drifted into dreamland.


	4. Chapter 4

***After all this time, I am back from the dead with a new chapter... sort of. I have been confined in my room due to some infectious disease, and thus I have nothing to do after sleeping for well over 15 hours, AGAIN. Writing it is then, not that I mind much. I'll try giving you the next one soon as well***

I woke up with a start as Loke eventually nudged me carefully before poofing back to the spirit world. Only I and Natsu remained on the train, and I sighed. They had left him in my care again, had they? This was going to be... interesting. I got up with a groan, my muscles already starting to tell me how displeased they were with my behaviour this last week.

"Come on, Natsu, either we get off, or we are going to leave for another ride," I said, nudged him. He groaned.

"You need to get off, miss," the ticket man said, and I sighed, smiled at him.

"Yeah, I'll get off, alright... come on, Natsu," I managed to haul him onto my back, and then started walking, got off the train just in time before it left.

"About time, Lucy, we were waiting," Erza said, and I had to suppress another groan. They left him with me simply expecting me to take care of him? I took another step and felt the ground suddenly coming towards me. A pare of petite hands kept me from falling though. Lisanna smiled but looked a bit worried as well.

"You. Take him, I'm not in the mood for this," I said, and handed his body over to the silver-haired childhood friend of his. She gladly took his heavy body, and managed to place his arm around her shoulder in order to support rather than carrying him.

"I noticed. What happened on the mission?" she asked, and for a moment I clearly saw Mira in her. I shrugged and steadied myself.

"Loke beat the client to a pulp and we had to make a run for it," I answered, and I saw Erza stop in her tracks. Gray, mysteriously yet again without most of his clothing, arched a brow that urged me to continue. I just shrugged again and started walking. The sooner we finished this godforsaken mission the sooner I could go home and curl into a ball and sleep this annoyance I felt off. I felt myself limping again, and steadied my pace once again. Yup. It's gonna fall off. Definitely.

Four hours of walking. FOUR GODFORSAKEN, PAINFUL HOURS. I finally sat down with my back against a rock, closed my eyes and prayed for whatever out there to give me the strength to get up again. Thankfully we had arrived rather late on the trainstation, so the sun had set by now. We would not walk more, today. Currently Natsu was lighting a fire, Erza was unloading some things from that humongous carriage of hers, Gray and Lisanna sat watching, the former with a bored expression and the latter with excitement towards the pink haired idiot that was oblivious to the attention given to him. Poor, poor Lisanna. Poor, poor foot. By the gods, it hurt. By now my face AND my rib had started throbbing as well. I needed some more cream from Cancer soon in order to keep hiding the bruise.

"Yo. Lucy.. Luce. Luce!" I cracked open an eye and nearly screamed when I saw Natsu's face inches away from mine.

"What? I'm busy dying over here..." I said, grumpy and taken aback by this... closeness he always insisted on keeping.

"Not a funny joke, Luce... you looked dead a moment ago. Something wrong?" I opened both my eyes staring at his frown, before firmly pushing him out of my personal space. He fell on his butt, but for once I didn't find it funny.

"I'm fine. Just... tired. Let me sleep it off, will ya?" I said, and his frown increased. So he chose today to be perspective? So what if I were in a foul mood. Not his problem. He started to pout, and by the gods, was he like a puppydog when he did that. I had to smile at that. The mighty dragonslayer, a puppydog. I tapped his head, lightly, and managed a smile.

"I'm fine, Natsu. Really. Now, shoo, I think I'll sleep some more," I closed my eyes again, when I felt him nudge me.

"Come on... I have something to tell you.." he said. Stab. What was that feeling? Oh, yeah, the feeling of pain. Thought I had already chosen to ignore it though, since it so far had been accompanying me the whole trip. This was stronger though, and passed that slight sting I had gotten used to so far. I sighed, and opened my eyes again, sat up so I if nothing else looked less like a corpse.

"Shoot," I said, showing him I gave him my undivided attention. He blushed, yep blushed, though I could be fooled by the nearby flickering fire. It was kinda dark.

"Not HERE! It's kind of embarassing, you know," he said, and I cursed inwardly.

"Fine, help me up, will ya?" he was more than happy to comply, and I got dragged up so fast I almost toppled over and fell on him. Thankfully, there still was this thing called pride. I took hold of his wrist, and dragged him off into the forest until I felt sure that the rest of the camp wouldn't hear us. It was really dark, and the fire wasn't visible anymore, but I trusted Natsu to find the way back, somehow. I sat down against the tree, and looked up at his shadow. He sat down in front of me.

"Now, tell me what this is about," I said. I'm one of his best friends, and a female at that. Really, it didn't take much effort to realize where this was going.

"I think Lisanna likes me," he said, his voice low, and embarassed. Who would've known that this rock dense idiot actually managed to come to such a conclusion. Then again, it was kind of obvious. I felt another stab to my heart, but ignored it as I smiled. I could hardly answer his perception with mockery.

"Yeah, ok. What do you think of that?" I said softly, showing him I would take him seriously. Poor guy. Poor girl. This might take some time after all.

"I don't know! I like her, but I'm not sure if it's the same way. What if she wants an answer, what if.." he trailed off, and I sighed.

"Yo. Natsu Dragneel. Calm down, will ya? The girl has known you longer than most, and regardless of her feelings she will not demand an answer to a question she knows you don't have the answer to right now. Chill." I said, and he took a deep breath.

"Oh, and there is one more thing," he said, and I tried smiling encouragly. He could tell me. I were his best friend, after all. At least.. I used to be.

"What's wrong with your foot?" he asked, and I had to laugh. Jeez, the seriousness he held almost made me worried there.

"I fell down the stairs of this huge mansion. Might be a sprain, nothing much to worry about," I said while smiling. MIGHT. Yeah, the guy would likely use his logic to blame himself if there was anything but MIGHT in that sentence.

"What? Let me look at it," he took hold of my foot, and I flinched, removed his hand.

"Don't touch it," I said, all humor gone from my voice. I then proceeded to get up, and started walking in the direction of the camp. I think.

"Lucy, wait!" he yelled after me, but I only started to walk faster.

"Leave me alone for a minute, Natsu! I'll be back soon," I said, and I heard him stopping. I kept walking, and added in case he still followed, just as an afterthought...

"I have my keys, don't worr..." suddenly I felt a root grabbing hold of my bad foot, and with a moan I fell to the ground, only to notice I were at a cliff. I shrieked as I tipped over the edge, and felt myself in empty air, then...

"God, you alright, Lucy?" I heard from my saviour that had managed to grab my hand. A new moan escaped as he lifted me by the hand that was on the side of the fractured rib. Pride or no pride, even I had my limits.

"This ONCE, I will admit defeat. You were right, I should've swallowed my pride and declined..." I groaned, and he got me over the ledge. I collapsed in a heap on the ground.

"I wanna go home..." I whined, and heard Loke chuckle slightly before sitting down next to me. I crept over to lay my head in his lap again. Just to be close to someone.

"Anything for you, my love," he said half teasingly while playing with my hair again. I smiled at the way he cared, though I felt my mood spiralling down into a new depth of depression. I'm losing him, aren't I? He got the one thing he wanted the most in this world, and now he would need to cast me aside. He just.. didn't know it yet.

"Loke..." I mumbled silently.

"Hm?" he answered.

"Would they hate me... if I quit the guild?" I almost whispered, scared as if they'd hear me and start yelling. It would be just like them to do so.

"What is this, all of a sudden?" he asked, stopped playing with my hair. I stared at the stars, at the constellations I loved even as a child.

"I.. I don't know.. forget I said it," I closed my eyes to avoid any more confrontation. It's just.. they don't know it yet, but their world no longer has a place for me in it. They're just too nice to realize. Too noble.

"Let's stay like this for a while, 'kay? I'm... tired. Then we need to support my leg better," I mumbled, a smile playing on my lips. It was fun while it lasted. I couldn't have asked for more from the guild of my dreams. The least I could do... would be to return the favor. The lion spirit sighed.

"You and your promises. I'll get Virgo to look at it. Relax for a while now, my love," I slowly drifted into sleep with those words ringing in my ear.


	5. Chapter 5

***I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Dear 1fairytaillover and KP, this is what I have to say to your wonderful reviews. Pairings, no idea whatsoever ;) Well, I do have an inkling, but you have to find out for yourself, 'cause it's a SECRET :D

And KP, whoever and wherever you might be, pityparties are my speciality! Expect a LOT of it, but do not underestimate Lucy either. She is strong, after all, in her own way. When it comes to stupidity, this IS Fairy Tail, you know. Stupidity comes with the package :) Now, enjoy the continuation!

Oh, and P.S.! -san, my first nickname! Awesome :) I hope you like my story so far, and I hope you continue to like it as it goes on. The likiing part goes for all my readers, of course ;)***

I woke up to the feeling of rocking, and realized that I were carried on the back of... Loke. Thank the gods, I almost thought it was Natsu there for a moment. I yawned, and Loke looked back at me.

"Glad to see you're up. Erza ALMOST got cranky with you," he said, and grinned. I then noticed that we had left the camp, and that it now was daytime.

"Ah, sorry, Loke! I must've been more tired that I thought," I said, and got off him. he merely smiled and bowed.

"No problem, my Love. Anything for you," he said, and I groaned. Just 'cause I allowed it before didn't mean he could just call me his "Love" so casually. Before I could scold him though, he was gone.

"Hurry up, Luce, or we're gonna leave you behind!" Natsu yelled, and I sighed, started walking. Loke had kept his word, it would seem. My foot was slightly better today, making it possible for me to run over to the people walking a while ahead. I felt new resolve boiling within me. Of course, firstly I might as well confirm Natsu's suspicion.

"So, how far is it until we arrive?" I asked with a broad smile. Natsu gave me an odd look, but then smiled the carefree smile he always had, with that extra glow due to Lisanna. Yeah, I never wanted that to falter, no matter what.

"Several days, Luce! You didn't know?" he said, and then went over to fight some with Gray. The news almost made my good mood crumble. DAYS?

"You seem very close," Lisanna noted as I walked beside her watching the boy's verbal dispute.

"Hm, you think? I guess we are good friends," I said, and then smiled mischieviously at her.

"Not like you guys, though, am I right?" I whispered, and to my delight the girl blushed. I grinned. I were now halfway to a confession.

"You got to tell me ALL about it later on, when a certain guy with too good hearing isn't around," I whispered, and she looked so CUTE when she looked so shy and unsure. She then smiled that dazzling smile of hers. Yup, we would be good friends. While ignoring my writhing heart, we started speaking of girly things. Make up, clothing, and all that. She then told me stories of little Natsu, Gray an Erza, making me laugh. Indeed, they were the same, the lot of them.

We sat and were having a break. It was a short one, and I knew we had a long way to go, so I sighed and ate my sandwich in silence.

"Yo. Lucy, how's your foot?" Natsu asked and sat down next to me. I nearly choked on a piece, but managed to swallow it.

"Alright, I guess. Loke helped me supporting it, so it's all better," I said while smiling. He frowned, and then grabbed it unexpectedly. I gave away a slight yelp, but let him drag my pants up enough to look at it. Honestly, I were surprised at the good job Loke had done. Perhaps Virgo had helped him? He did mention asking her earlier.

"This doesn't look alright, Luce. You sure you're alright?" he said with a serious voice. I slowly removed his hand trying to avoid too much attention. Too late.

"Whoa, Lucy, need some ice on that?" Gray asked and came over. I had to sigh. Then.. shit, Gray, please don't...

"Is this why Loke beat your client to a pulp?" he asked, while creating some ice without my consent, putting it on my swollen foot. It felt good though, I had to admit.

"I forgot about that. I need to have talk with Loke later on.." Erza said with the look of a punisher.

"What? Why'd he do that?" Natsu asked. Of course I were forced to tell them then, and of course he found his logic and became really angry. I'm glad I didn't go into detail regarding the incident in itself, and merely stopped at the part where he snuck into my room... In any case, he started blaming himself for the whole thing.

Which evidently led to this... Me being carried on Natsu's back. I had tried to convince them all I was alright. When that failed, I tried grumbling something about having enough strength to be able to walk with a stupid sprain. That magic word, "sprain", led directly to this. Worst of all, even in my bad mood I couldn't help it if I got sleepy. The soothing rocking as he walked, the heat emanating from his body, the sound of his feet... Gah! I needed to stay focused.

"Really, Natsu. I am capable of walking," I said, but he just stared straight ahead, didn't stop or give any indication of letting my feet go.

"It's the least I can do until that swelling goes down. No worries, you're not THAT heavy," he grinned at the last remark, and I merely grumbled something about annoying dragonslayers and closed my eyes.

"Hey, how's your face, by the way? Does it still hurt?" he said softly. So he remembered that, did he?

"Stop being a worrywart. It doesn't suit you," I mumbled.

"And, yeah, I'm fine... not like this is... worst... anyways.." I started drifting off. I flinched, opened my eyes all of a sudden.

"Whoa.. where..? Oh yeah..." I blinked, and Natsu stopped, looked back at me.

"You okay?" he asked, and I nodded. Just startled. As he started walking again, I rested my head on his shoulder, and closed my eyes yet again. We walked in silence for a while.

"She asleep?" I heard Lisanna question.

"Hm..? Yeah, I guess." he said. his voice made me sleepier.

"I wondered why she kept limping all the time. It also explains why she had that face on the first day. She isn't heavy, is she? I can carry her for a while if you want. I can transform into..."

"Nah, it's alright. Besides, she might wake up, and boy can she be cranky then..." he replied. Well, excuse me, then... I felt kind of sluggish at the moment though, on the borderline between being awake and asleep. Lisanna giggled.

"Yeah, I heard about that. You can't just break into someones house and sleep in their bed, Natsu." she said in her happy, reprimading tone. Glad... someone.. agrees.

"You say that only 'cause you haven't slept in it. I tell you, it's the softest bed I've ever slept in," he grumbled in reply. Right then the sleeping part won over the awake part of me, and I drifted off.

I sat in a chair, looking at a yelling man. I didn't understand his noises. I only got that he was mad, so I wanted to soothe him. But my arms wouldn't move. Neither would any other part of my body. Then the man raised his arm, and my eyes widened.

"Don't!" I yelled, and sat up. I lay in a bed, alone in a dark room. Only a dream, huh... My body was all sweaty, and I were gasping for air. A weird nightmare, but that was what it was. I got up slowly, and noticed that the bandages on my foot was changed. Might as well make myself presentable before heading out to the others.

"Open the gate of the crab, Cancer!" I yelled while gripping his key, and he appeared before me. I made him do my hair, and then he gave me some cream to cover my face, also to enhance the healing process. It might be a few more days, but then it would be as if it never even was there in the first place. Afterwards I opened the door, only to be met by a man that was about to knock.

"Ah, I see you are awake, Miss. Your friends left a few hours ago. I only came here to tell you that dinner awaits," he said with a calm voice. They.. left? I guess it could be expected. A hurt teammate would be nothing more than a liability. I smiled sadly, and followed the man down to the dining hall. I sat diligently at a table moving my food around on the plate, trying to force myself into eating some of it.

"Aren't you going to eat that?" I heard a voice, and looked up at the pink haired dragonslayer as he slumped down next to me efficiently devouring a mountain of food he had on his plate before continuing onto mine.

"Thought you left..." I mumbled while watching his bad as always eating habits. Lisanna sat down next to Natsu, and Erza and Gray sat down across the table.

"Hm? Why, you were still sleeping," he answered, and then proceeded to take a huge gulp of water. I noticed Lisanna eating with all the manner of a good girl, smiling innocently.

"Now that you have awoken we might discuss the plan for the next days. Tomorrow we will reach the clients house. It is a while outside town, and since we will be arriving back here afterwards I will suggest that Lucy stays here in order to achieve full recovery. Do you have any problems with that?" Erza looked at me, and I shook my head. Of course not, I were surprised I hadn't been exiled from the quest completely already.

"Now, I also suggest that someone keeps her accompanied..." she continued, and gave a look to Lisanna.

"I volunteer, then. We can talk about girl stuff and everything!" Lisanna smiled, and I smiled back.

"Ok, now when that is settled, I suggest we all go back to our room." she said. Room.. not in plural? Oh, the joy.


	6. Chapter 6

***And... We're back. For now, anyways. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Where it would've ended if I did I wouldn't know, and I'd rather not guess. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this :)***

The room had four beds. Four beds, for 5 people. One double, and three singles. Well, obviously the boys wouldn't be sharing. It ended with me taking the single closest to the wall. The single next to it held Natsu, the double next to it Lisanna and Erza, and the single closest to the door Gray.

I were walking down a hallway, grey and boring, stopping outside a black door. I new that whatever was in there, I did not wish to open the door. I did not wish to see it, much less enter. Slowly, the door started opening...

I opened my eyes as I heard the sound of metal and a squeal of fear.

"Natsu..." a dangerous, low voice muttered, the voice of a sleepy and not very happy Titania. So he had tried sneaking in with her and Lisanna, huh? I smiled at the recklessness, considering how Erza was in a terrible mood if disturbed when she slept. Then I curled myself into a ball and closed my eyes again. It had been a while... since the nightmares. I had them as a child, and honestly thought I would've gotten over them by now. I also knew what awaited me on the other side of that door. It was a memory, a memory of the day I found my mom. Fresh tears ran down my face, but I made no sound as I lay under the duna. Slowly wrapping my hands around my legs, I lay in silence waiting for everyone to fall back asleep. I wouldn't. Not now. I had no urge to finish that dream today.

I lay there until I started hearing sounds outside the room, thus telling me the night was over. I might as well get up. The day before I hadn't really paid any mind to my surroundings when I woke up, so I hadn't seen the other beds, neither the door leading into a small bathroom. Now I stood staring at my reflection after washing my face. If nothing else, no sign of my tears could be seen. Good. I also got dressed in a pair of gray sweats, a white tanktop and my belt with my spirits and my whip. Then I headed down for breakfast. After a while my teammates joined me, Erza nodding in approval of my early rising.

"Well now, boys, we have a long walk ahead of us. Let's go!" she said, and the boys, of course, got up right away. Me and Lisanna was left at the table, her smiling sweetly at me. After seeing them off, I turned my gaze to her.

"Well, now. Tell me ALL about your first solo mission together in how long? I want details, right up," I said, and she blushed.

"Firstly, you were supposed to come, you know," she tried defending herself.

"But I didn't, did I? What kind of mission was it anyways?"

"It was a mission to subdue some Vulcans up in Mt. Hakobe," she said. Gah..!

"He doesn't like making it easy for a lady, does he..?" I mumbled, actually glad I got to miss that one. Once was more than enough, honestly. Lisanna giggled at my remark.

"Nope, but I like it that way," she said, and smiled in a dreaming manner. Stab. I ignored the pain.

"Aww, you're so sweet. So what happened?" I urged on, and she smiled.

"Well, after helping him to subdue some of them..." ah, she actually helped him, rather than having to be the one in need of rescue..

"...we were on our way back, and we got caught in this storm." yeah, my mission to subdue the thugs had taken what, 3-4 days? I distinctly remembered it taking about one day to go back and forth from that mountain. Also, by the look of things, Natsu arrived back at the guild around the same time as me considering the fact that he didn't notice my absense. That is, unless he simply stopped noticing me. Then again, if he stopped noticing me he wouldn't have waltzed in like that the day I sent Gemini to the guild. The incident made my face warm up, but Lisanna thankfully kept on talking without noticing my red face.

"We managed to find shelter, and had to stay there until the storm subsided," she continued, and I smiled.

"So, how did he treat you? Did he use is body heat to wa..."

"Hey! You know Natsu.. he wanted to continue in spite of the storm," she giggled at the memory and blushed at my remark. I had to confer to the fact that his denseness was unbelievable.

"We got lost, and then I got sick because of the storm, and you should have SEEN him. Honestly, he just took me in his arms and basically ran all the way home, muttering about how Mira-nee would kill him!" she giggled again. Aww.. he took her in his arms! Stab. Stupid heart and stupid feelings leave me alone... I smiled broadly.

"Continue! Did she attempt to kill him or what?" I said. She smiled at that and shook her head.

"Nope, never got the chance, 'cause he swore he would take care of me, and then made Wendy come and cast a spell to heal me. It would take a day to take effect, so he cared for me for A WHOLE DAY. With his skills though, I'm glad to be alive!" she outright laughed at that, and I laughed with her.

"HAH! I knew he could be sweet if he wanted to. You're right though, even through all his good intentions, his habit of destruction usually shows through," I could just picture his "HEY!" if he had heard that comment. She became all shy again after that, smiling sweetly. A girl in love, for sure. So this was the girl I ultimately had been a... replacement for. I really did her no justice.

"So how about you, Lucy? Have you found the man of your dreams?" she asked, most likely to avert attention from herself. I would have to shrug at that.

"Hm, not really. Been to busy paying my rent and going on suicide quests with the gang. Seriously, sometimes I wonder what they think when they pick their missions. It's like, hey, let's find something that looks like it's going to kill off Lucy, shall we?" I mimicked them and made her laugh. I sighed, and put my head against the table.

"I'm sure they mean it well," she said with her smiling voice.

"Yeah, yeah... I know. They always do, they just have an odd way showing it, is all," I mumbled, chuckled at the thoughts of their antics.

"Hey, did Natsu try sneaking into bed with you last night?" I asked suddenly and raised my head. She giggled.

"Yep, Erza almost had his head for it too,"

"I can't believe you actually had the guts to sleep in the same bed as her,"

"Oh, she really is sweet under that tough interior," I knew that. I smiled, and we started talking about less dangerous topics, like Natsu's disgusting eating habits and Gray's stripping. We both laughed a lot, and told each other stories.

The hours passed quicker than I anticipated, but we still had a while to go when both of us settled into an awkward silence. I didn't mind it, really, too much talking made me feel my lack of sleep in spite of all the sleeping I had been doing recently.

"You know what, I think I'll go and check on my luggage. I might need to rearrange it before the others return," I said, and got up. I allowed myself the small limp now, since everyone new of my predicament. It wasn't half bad, but stung a little. The limp was almost like a habit rather than a necessity. I would lose it when the others returned.

"Is you foot any better? You know, I can carry you for a while today if you still need some time," Lisanna called after me, and I turned my head while smiling still.

"No worries, Lisanna. I'm all good, the swelling is down and everything," I said, and turned yet again in the general direction of our room as a slight frown returned to my features. Besides, with everyone working this hard, I could hardly lay on the lazy side, now could I? A sprain versus the damages I had seen them suffer. Nothing much, a sprain. It would pass.

***This is kind of heading in a dark direction, don't you think? Well, not too dark, but kind of depressing. Oh well, how will this all end up, and will Lucy truly be alright? Who knows, I sure don't...***


	7. Chapter 7

***Ah, and here I am again, the next day. To my dear reviewer KP. ME, mad at YOU?! Okay, granted, I might've been in a somewhat pissy mood that day, but believe me, if I felt annoyed or offended due to your comment, you would've known. I found it rather amusing, actually, because it was spot on. Lucy is currently having a nice little little pity-party going on in her own head, something that might lead to something, might not. No worries there, hey!

Ok, so I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. The plot MIGHT be mine, or it might be a dream. Or a suppressed memory from something I read or saw at some point. Okay, okay, it shall be mine! Mwahahaha... on with the story :)***

I shrieked as the wyvern took a hold of me and made a run for it, or a fly for it, whatever you'd prefer. We had managed to waltz right into its territory, and battle had ensued almost immidiately. The boys went overboard like usual, swiftly clearing a large area with their icy and fiery attacks, and Erza wasn't much better. Like I expected, Lisanna was quite strong, and managed to transform into various forms giving her contribution to the battle. Me? I called out Loke and Taurus, ran around dodging attacks and then lost my spirits somewhere in the confusion. The wyvern, being quite intelligent, soon realized that the match wasn't developing in a favored direction and decided to escape with the weakest link. That would be me, by the way. It was quite swift at escaping too, I might add.

"Let me DOWN!" I exclaimed. If it got my meaning, which I highly doubted, it chose to ignore it as it penetrated the clouds, thus making me cold and wet. Just great, this could hardly get any wor... apparently it could. As we ascended from the clouds, the biggest fucking wyvern I'd ever seen, not that I'd seen that many, awaited us. With a REALLY loud roar it was upon us, and guess what... the wyvern dropped me. This would be amongst the lamest ways for me to die. I decided then and there that THAT was reason enough enough for me NOT to die this time around. Like, COME ON. Not that I knew how to do so, but.. Then, all of a sudden, I found myself in the claws of a wyvern. I had changed owners. Did I look like some kind of delicasy to these things? I could ALMOST feel good about that, until it dropped me in favor of better prey, namely my team-mates. It did drop me lower than the last one though, so as I fell through the canopy of the pine forest I thanked the monster for doing so. I finally landed with a thud in a thick layer of snow. Cold, cold cold cold cold COLD! Okay, no time to wait. I might not be able to do much, but I did make some excellent bait. So I started running through the snow in the direction of the loud battle cries. It wasn't what I would call easy, and by the time I got there, it was over. Once again, I had rendered myself useless.

"Lucy!" he yelled to the sky, the pink haired idiot that always blamed himself no matter what if he somehow judged his actions insufficient in his quest to protect the lot of us.

"Everyone! I'm fine!" I yelled and waved at them as I entered the field. All of them were pretty beat up, but smiling as I entered the field. Lisanna was closest, and the least damaged. That was good. Really, she was skilled.

"Hey, I tried following the wyvern but it was too quick. How did you get away?" she said as she walked up to me.

"Dunno, really. The other wyvern took hold of me and dropped me right above the forest. The branches and the snow broke my fall, and I came back here as soon as I could," I explained, and then suddenly found myself on my knees.

"Not quite enough, though, it would seem," I mumbled. Damn, in the rush to get back I didn't realize that some of those branches hit me rather hard. I saw a few smiles falter as the equally or more extentially damaged picked up their pace to get their asses over to me.

"Damn, this is going to leave a mark," I whined as I lifted my shirt a bit to check out the damage done. The wyverns' grips hadn't exactly been gentle either, their claws hardly made for comfy transport.

"What other wyvern?" Lisanna asked in the meantime.

"You had to notice the sudden change in size. That thing was HUGE! Stupid too, apparently for choosing the tough battle over the easy prey," I laughed a bit. The other had reached us by then.

"You have to be more careful, Lucy. You got away this time, but next time you might not get so lucky, and the damages," Erza scolded and looked me over. My shirt was a bit bloodied, my sweats ripped. She herself was bruised, but held a posture that clearly showed off her ability to endure the pain. I could hold no such posture.

"It's only natural to get damaged sometimes. Besides, I knew you'd find me if I didn't get away," I answered calmly. The boys stared at me in an odd manner, before I got up again. To give off the same tranquility as Erza while showing off my battered body I could not do. But as an ex-heiress I could endure.

"Now, let us patch each other up, shall we? We still have to find that cave after all," I summoned Virgo at that, in spite of my somewhat depleted magic power. She helped bandaging all of us before we continued. She asked for punishment, and I brushed her off like usual.

I sat up abruptly, and clutched my side due to the pain it resulted in. Once again tears were silently flowing down my face. It was still nighttime, and the others were sleeping soundly. Trying not to wake them I got up, and walked away from the camp, far enough not to be heard but near enough to find my way back. The sky was black today, void of stars to gaze at, but I gazed up anyways, tried shaking the nightmare off.

I had been standing before the black door like usual, but this time it belonged to the Fairy Tail guild, when a hand landed on my shoulder. "It is only natural." a voice said. Always shrouded and warped so I didn't get who said it, though I knew the hand belonged to the speaker. "At least now, they are no longer in pain. They tried to endure it for you, but now, it is over," the voice continued, and I recognized the words from when my mother died. She was in pain, and endured it because of me. Then... she abandoned me. It was only natural, she was very sick after all. Now... Fairy Tail had done enough enduring too. Me, the replacement, needed to go. It was my turn to endure this time. And with that, I woke up.

I sat like that for a while, calmed myself until my eyes dried out, and then went to a nearby stream to wash the puffiness away. These nightmares were slowly getting worse. So far I had avoided screaming, thank the gods for that, but it wouldn't be long before the door opened, and then... This was the last night before we arrived home, though. We had found the treasure, and we had returned it. Tomorrow we would arrive at the train station, and some hours later I would be at my apartment.

***Dit it go alright, I wonder? A bit random, but that is my specialty ;) I'll try to be back in the morrow, but no promises. We'll just wait and see :D***


	8. Chapter 8

***Made it again! Hope it is to your liking, and if it isn't, then too bad, there probably are other stories out there better suited for you then... I will not claim to be the best one there is, since that would be an utter lie.

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. This particular story is, though, or so I hope! ;)***

Once again I found myself on the wagon with an annoyed Loke at my side. The train had just started moving, and Natsu had his head placed on Lisanna's lap, seemingly dead after Erza knocked him out cold. Erza sat alone today, since her violence had scared Gray over to my side of the wagon, across the table of course.

"Go back," I grumbled, while looking out the window.

"Just sleep, already. You have been acting strangely lately, and need the rest after the damage you suffered," Loke said back.

"I'm fine. I slept last night, didn't I?"

"For how long, though... It's going to be hours, anyways," he argued, and I faced him, a scary look in my eyes.

"So what if I woke up earlier than usual, I'm FINE," I growled.

"I will not go back until..."

"Suit yourself, it will change nothing," I interupted. I noticed Gray shifting uncomfortably, not sure wether to risk me or Titania.

"Why are you so stubbern?!" he growled.

"I don't WANT TO SLEEP!" I exclaimed, and turned to the window again. I didn't dare to. The dream last night... in the dream I had already decided to leave. Sure, I had been depressed lately, but LEAVING? Leaving Fairy Tail? No. I wouldn't do that. No matter how much of a replacement I would turn out to be, I knew people in that guild would still feel pain if I left. Ok, that wasn't the reason. I didn't dare to leave. The answer was that simple. The thought had never even crossed my conscious mind, no even when the question slipped out that night with Loke. If I fell asleep again, what other horrible truths would I discover about myself?

"Lucy..." I heard Loke say to the back of my head, but I did not face him.

"Lucy..?" Gray said questionably, almost afraid. I gave him a sideglance, and saw him staring at me with shock evident in his features. That's when I noticed my wet cheeks, and realized I were crying. How pitiful.

"I'm FINE." I stated again, and heard my voice tremble slightly. Shit. Then I angrily wiped my tears away and stared out the window without looking at anyone anymore. Why have a breakdown now, all of a sudden? Couldn't it just wait?

The athmosphere remained rather awkward as the hours passed, even with all the effort I put in on ignoring my surroundings. Loke gave up after a while and disappeared, probably to attack me later on when less people were hovering around. Gray kept staring at me. He finally fell asleep after a while, but as we neared the station he woke up and continued where he left off.

When we arrived, Lisanna took the task of getting Natsu off. I appreciated the effort, and only grabbed my luggage as we headed off, excused myself before heading back to my apartment. I were a mess, as usual, and needed a bath and some new clothes. Afterwards I would join the team at the guild. If I tired myself out enough, I might collapse in some dreamless coma. It was a far shot, but I would take it.

My first dream about leaving Fairy Tail. I shuddered, and kept walking ahead, clutching my bag that held rent-money for at least a few months. I smiled as the relief on that matter flowed through me. At least SOMETHING went completely okey on this mission.

*NORMAL POV*

The blackhaired ice-mage walked slowly down the street, not sure if he should be doing this. Lucy could be as scary as Erza if caught in a foul mood, and such wrath was something he hesitated to bring down upon himself without a good reason. But she had been crying. Why? The blonde celestial mage had been acting weird for practically the whole mission, disappearing into the forests, waking up early or not at all. Then, as the mission neared its end, she became all vacant and silent, a determent look upon her face. And then, at the train, after snapping at Loke, she cried. Silently, without a sound, while stating that she was FINE. They were friends, and it bothered the boy walking down her street that she seemingly kept something from them.

A scream penetrated his thoughts and brought him back to the present. He stared at the house with surprise. It was HER house, and he was sure he just heard a scream coming from it.

"For fucks sake, get it over with," her voice said, restrained and pained. Her window was open, a habit that wasn't too safe, but that probably saved it from being broken due to all the visits she had from her friends. The boy stared at it, and then thought he heard a low, male voice. What the... a new scream penetrated the air, and he moved to the window in an instant, ready for assault. What met him was Lucy on the floor, held down by.. Loke? And Virgo was... doing something.

"Just one more, Mistress," she said, and Lucy nodded, closed her eyes. WHat the... a crack was heard as one of her ribs broke, and Lucy screamed yet again.

"Thank you, Virgo," Lucy mumbled, and Virgo nodded.

"You ought to be more careful, Mistress. Now, is it time for my punish.."

"No PUNISHMENT," Lucy said, and the maid got up, walked into the bathroom. Loke helped his master up, and first now she noticed the boy still squatting on the windowsill.

*LUCY POV*

"Gray..?" I asked as I looked over at my shocked teammate. How long had he been there? How much had he seen and heard? Shit. Finally he seemed to be waking up from his stupor, and jumped down on the floor, slowly moved his way over where I sat on the floor. Loke wanted to stop him, I could see as much, but I put a hand on his shoulder to stop him. With a sigh, he disappeared within a golden light.

"What is going on?" the boy asked, and I flinched slightly at his harsh tone. I then sighed, since there really was no point in hiding it now considering he walked in on me like this.

"My ribs were healing wrongly, so I had Virgo break them again in order to make them heal properly," I said calmly, and then got upp cautiously. Damn, it hurt. Slowly I made my way to the bathroom where the first aid kit was situated. I heard his steps behind me, and turned to face him again as Virgo made her way over with a roll of bandages.

"I'm not indestructible like SOME people, you know." I continued as Virgo insdiscriminately lifted my shirt. Most of my abdomen and the general area on my upper torso were covered in differently shaded bruises. Not pretty, to say the least. Vrigo started bandaging it with skilled movements.

"When did it happen?" he asked, though I'm pretty sure he knew when.

"My guess would be somewhere between getting crushed by the claws of the wyverns and getting dropped and falling to the ground," I replied dryly. We remained silent as Virgo finished her job. Afterwards she went over to Gray, staring intently at him.

"Don't leave her alone," she warned solemnly, before poofing back to the spirit world. He blinked.

"Oh well, now when that's been taken care of, I only need some clean pants and we'll head for the guild," I declared. One of my hands had been secured frimly to my body, so I figured a new shirt was out of the question. Even putting on pants would be hard. Actually, fuck it. I sighed in defeat, and headed from the door. I might need a jacket, though.

"Lucy, you've been acting strange lately. Whhat is going on?" Gray asked again. I turned around from my spot staring at diffeent jackets by the door.

"I already told you,"

"Not good enough. You were strange before that."

"Not you too... Happy and Natsu are bad enough. I'M NOT STR..."

"NOT WHAT I MEANT! WHAT I MEANT WAS..."

"I know..." I mumbled, looking at the floor.

"I haven't slept too well lately. It makes me edgy," I went on. I had troubles sleeping. Recently it had developed to nightmares, and now I resented the thought of it. My fault. Not anyones business.

"Does it have anything to do with Natsu?" came the calm question, and I looked up at Gray, shook my head.

"Personal business, Gray. I'll get over it, 'kay?" I smiled, and then turned around. No jacket then.

"Hm... screw this. To the guild!" I opened the door, waited patiently for Gray to follow. He gave me a calculating look, but chose to stop pestering.

"Oh.. and Gray.." I started as we walked down Strawberry street.

"Hm?"

"Please, don't mention this to the others," I pleaded. He nodded. Sometimes I forgot the perception this guy had.

"I'll shut it, but only if you agree to let Wendy look at those injuries," he said. I could go with that.

***And there you have it. Where will this end, I wonder? You'll have to find out, NEXT TIME! :D***


	9. Chapter 9

***I were sent to survival camp for a few days... Nah, just kidding, but I were brought out of the "city" (*cough*Town*cough*) into some valley in order to stay at this hut without the things we call internet, television and heated water available. Not that I complain, by all means, it was good fun. Just, you know, a tad cold. Oh, and during this time I am sad to say uploading chapters became sort of a hassle, or more like an impossibility. So, after spending the days trekking, eating and playing monopoly with one terrible winner (not me for once), I arrived back today and thought I might share this already written chapter wth you ;)

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. That would've been WAY too muchh effort***

I just came out of the kitchen with a cup of tea when Team Natsu busted into the house, Erza efficiently breaking down the door for the umpteenth time, Natsu coming in through the window who knows how and jumping onto my bed clearly expecting me to be in it. Normal people would've screamed. I would've screamed if I woke up to this. As it was, though, I merely stared at them as they realized I were not in bed, soon followed by the discovery of me standing there staring at them with a bored expression. It was best to let them all realize in their own pace.

"What do you want?" I asked as all, being Natsu, Erza, Gray, Happy and Lisanna, finally stood there staring at me. My voice was calm, but annoyed. Honestly, it was too early in the morning for people breaking into my house. The sun had just risen for fucks sake.

"We are going out on a mission," Erza said, as if this was the most natural reason there could be for her standing in the middle of my bedroom at the crack of dawn.

"How nice for you. Good luck, and try not to destroy any villages," I said dryly as I sat down by the table, blowing on my tea to cool it down. Anyone else, and I am certain Titania would've snapped and sent me through a wall, literally.

"We're a team, remember? You're going too," Natsu put in, sending a slightly nervous glance in the direction of the redhead, that nodded. I sighed, and then put my tea on the table, then continued to stand up, pointing at my other hand.

"I haven't gotten over the last job yet, and in case you wondered, I DO NOT HAVE A DEATH WISH." the last part came out louder than I intended, but it didn't matter. Too much was better than too little with these guys.

Some yelling, puppydog-eyes and violent actions later, I could finally sit down to enjoy my now cold tea. It tasted weird, but I didn't bother to make more, so I drank it as it was.

"You sure you alright?" Gray asked, and I saw him on the window-sill. I nodded.

"Yeah, yeah, now go before Erza decides to wreck my house with your face," I said, and he sent me one last last glance before he was gone. Finally, solitude. Who were I kidding, this would be one hell of a month...

TIME SKIP

I opened my eyes. When did I... Oh, I must've fainted or something. I lay on the floor, hugging my legs tightly. Nope, didn't faint. Not this time. I remembered laying down, closing my eyes. I only fainted once, for crying out loud, no need for he drama my mind was making.

How long had it been now? I checked the calendar. Hm... almost a month. Who would've known solitude to be so utterly... boring. I had come to the guild daily at first, even finished a few easy missions within the town limits. It had been days now, though. I no longer bothered keeping up my splendid image as my meltdown started tearing on my mind, making it hard to do anything. THAT day was nearing too. It didn't help much. This was getting ridiculous.

Slowly I got up. So cold. The mirror showed me everything I feared, and more. A pale face, dark rings under my eyes, and when did I eat last? Today would be the day, though. Team Natsu might be coming back today. Not right now, though. I would go there, today.

"Open the gate of the crab, Cancer!" I yelled as I took hold of his key. Time to freshen up.

It took a few hours to freshen up without looking like some makeup doll. First I took a long shower, then I smeared the magic cream I got from Cancer on my face. It didn't do much, but removed some of the dark bags under my eyes. After that followed the tiring task of finding clothes.

I walked through the doors, and got a few hellos from people that usually said hello to people entering the guild. I smiled and said hello back as I made my way to the bar. Team Natsu was already there, speaking loudly about some monster they had exterminated. I thanked the gods for the lack of injuries.

"Hey, Mira, can I have a strawberry milkshake?" I said, and noticed the barmaid staring past me, looking with a dreaming smile towards her sister. I guess she had a tough time waiting as well. I decided to let her be. Instead I got up and made my way over to the team I claimed to be a part of. Just then, as all of them were standing and not yet noticing me, Lisanna stood in front of Natsu, took her hand around his neck, and... kissed him. Right on the mouth. Natsu's eyes were wide. He was undoubtedly just as surprised as me. I stiffened slightly, felt my face heat up by the bold scene in front of me, and stopped breathing as catcalls and cheering sounded through the hall. Then I smiled. I smiled at the scene in front of me, smiled as if my life would end if I didn't.

Then, after hearing a thud when the barmaid fainted due to the sweetness of it all, I made my way, slowly, out of the hall, out of the guild. Breathe, Lucy, breathe!

"Lucy!" the voice made me take a shaky breath, as I started hyperventilating instead of just choking silently. Then arms were around me, holding me tightly, refusing to let go.

"Let.. .me.. go.." I pressed out between gasps. Gray didn't listen, not even when I heard a scream from my self-proclaimed love-rival. Can't breathe. Can't breathe. Can't brea...

"I'll take her," I heard a voice say, and I felt myself being taken into the arms of my spirit before everything went dark.

I sat on my bed. After being yelled at by Loke, AGAIN, I sat with my biggest dilemma yet. It was late. It was late, the night before THE DAY. I needed a break from everything. Thankfully Gray hadn't followed back after I passed out, but tomorrow he would be here. I didn't want company this time around.

Screw this. I put the keys carefully on my desk, wrote a few words in case Loke came out later to check on me. "Do not look for me. Lucy H". Then I donned my cloak, hid my face under the hood and went out the door. It was best this way.

The train arrived at its destination, and I got off. The sun rose as I arrived at the cemetary where my mother lay waiting.

"It has been a long time, Mama. I'm sorry about the letters, I haven't found the will to write much lately. So, how have you been? It's your birthday, after all," I smiled as I sat down in front of my mother, and started talking about my adventures in Fairy Tail. Some of them I had written about, but really, it was hardly the same as talking.

"My dreams are bad, Mama. I'm scared. Should I really stay?" I mumbled, my voice tired and weak by now. She would have told me to follow my heart. But it hurt. It hurt so bad. But follow your heart.

"Thank you, Mama. I promise to visit you more often, 'kay?" I smiled and got up, ignoring my blurred vision from all the crying. I knew what to do, and even though it was hard, it was the right thing to do.

***Oh my, by the hells both burnt and frozen, is this a cliffhanger I see? don't worry, unless I get dragged off again by either friends or the impending pneumonia i sense (probably just me being paranoid, by the way) I shall be back with you in the morrow! Until then, writhe in anticipation, and feel free to review, since it so far hasn't killed off TOO many. I think. Until next time, then.. :)***


	10. Chapter 10

***No pneumonia, thank the gods for that, as of yet in any case. Guess who went out severely underdressed (no, not naked) only to discover it was snowing today. Fine, I don't live in some ridiculously warm place like Hawaii or something (never been there, only heard it's warm), but this is OCTOBER for crying out loud. Couldn't the weather stay nice and autumn-ish until November or something? 'Course, I love snow and all, but it isn't too fun when I have to walk through a miniature snowstorm while wearing tights and a shirt only protected by a bloody raincoat. I survived though, and here I am!

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Winter is coming...***

The sun was setting as I made my way through Magnolia on my way to the guild. I had missed the train back, and had decided to walk home rather than waiting for a couple of hours doing nothing at Acalypha. I needed the time to prepare, anyways. Mentally, that is. I had been doing that for a month, of course, but the kiss yesterday came as a surprise. I had expected it to be a few months, at the least, taking the boys denseness into consideration.

Slowly I approached the doors, tired and a little bit nervous. Come on, Lucy. I pushed the doors open, and were met with... silence. Okay, unusual.

"Lucy..?" Mirajane whispered. The fact I heard her was almost as frightening as her tone. Shocked, and surprised.

"I'll go and fetch him," Erza said with a stern voice, and brushed past me. I noticed a glance of fury before she was gone, directed at me.

"..." I walked to the bar.

"Is something wrong?" I asked, and she looked at me. The shock was slowly being replaced by anger, once again directed at me.

"He found your note, Lucy," she said.

"Do you know what day it is today?" Gray shot in, a frown raised at me.

"Yes..?" I said, feeling as if I missed something. A dark aura approached me, and I turned back to Mirajane. She was looking at the floor.

"Then why did you do that to him.." she whispered.

"Why did you leave at the exact same day,"

"What same day? Leave?" what the hell is going on!?

"This is the day Igneel disappeared," Gray added, and I flinched. Him. So they were speaking of Natsu. And the note.. the note I left for Loke.

"Now THAT, is low," Gajeel added in, and I turned to him.

"Ah, sorry, I didn't mean..."

"I think you should leave for today, Lucy. He is going to be angry when he comes back. Where were you, anyways?" Mira said it calmly, but the dark aura still loomed underneath the surface.

"Nowhere in particular. I guess you know where to find me," I said in a dead voice. The kiss was a surprise. The rejection hurt. But rejection was what I were prepared for. I turned around, and left the guild with calm steps, left the glares and whispers. Left the rejection. Perhaps a few days apart would do us good.

I sat with my back to the Sakura tree Natsu dug up that time when I were too sick to go out and watch it bloom. The stars had appeared some time ago, and I now watched them intently, pondering on what to do in order to pass out due to exhaustion. Perhaps I should start training or something. Then I would need to buy some sexy training outfits, like the ones I saw the other day... That had been a while ago, though.

"Why did you do that?" a voice startled me, and I noticed the dark figure a few feet away. He weren't supposed to know. Must've been Gray. He wouldn't have noticed elsewise. Especially when things were as they were between...

"Perhaps I needed a break," I said, looking back a the sky. I heard a sharp intake of breath, and sighed. He needed tough love, but I guess some reassurance would do good here in order to keep him from snapping.

"Don't worry, Natsu. I'm not going anywhere. I just needed to do something," I said, and then got up.

"Now I'm going home," I said, and started walking. I had to pass him, and when I neared him, I saw his eyes. They scared me, and I stopped. I don't want you to hate me, you know. I don't want to make you angry. I want you to care. But you can't.

"I suggest you do the same," I said. *SLAP*. Stab an twist. He had his hand raised, and I felt my cheek burning. Step one. I stared at him.

"I quit Team Natsu." I said, and then left him standing in the dark. There. I spoke the words I had been dreading to hear from him. A pair of strong arms found themselves around me as I were caught in a hug from behind.

"Why are you leaving me?" he asked in a low voice, his breath warming my back.

"I'm not." I answered, and I heard, and felt, him growl.

"Yes you are." don't care, Natsu. Please. I can't hope, 'cause then I'll break for real next time.

"Perhaps I am, then," I heard myself saying, my voice sharp.

"Why?"

"Because."

"WHY?" he demanded yet again, and I felt my resolve slipping.

"I can't, Natsu. I can't.. take it. Not again. So just.. just let me be, 'kay? I forgot about the day, I forgot that you hated this day as much..." as much as I do.

"Sorry, 'kay? I'm not leaving. As long as you want, I'll stay. I just.. need some space," I said it all in a thin voice. I were currently dangerously close to crying, but held it in. I needed space. I needed it to prepare for his face the day he decided to... to leave me. The very thought made me take a sharp breath of air, still trying not to cry. Natsu didn't let go.

"If so, you'll never leave." he mumbled. So typically Natsu. Too nice. Too naive. I still had to smile through it all. Then came the tears. The pesky, pitiful tears I had avoided showing to anyone of my teammates so far. I also felt my legs giving in. Treacherous body, always looking for a weak moment to betray me.

"Lucy? Wha... are you crying?" and of course, in time, came the confused dragonslayer.

"Why are you making it so difficult? Why can't you just.." I sobbed, and he squatted in front of me, looking so confused. So pained. I did it again, didn't I? I hurt him.

"It.. It's alright, y'know. I'm fine with it. I'm fine..." I started sobbing again. Who am I kidding? I'm terrified.

"You ca.. can leave me if yo.. you want," I continued. Just get it over and done with. Now there could be no misunderstanding even from the dense boy in front of me. Or so I thought when all of a sudden I were caught in a crushing hug yet again. A rather awkward one at that, too, since it almost made me fall on my back, him on top. Note almost.

"Why the hell would I do that?" he said, and that was it. No more coherent words passed my lips as I went full out crying. We sat there for a while, and at some point, we both made our way back to my apartment, where a severely pissed off Loke awaited.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING WHEN LEAVING FOR A WHOLE DAY WITHOUT YOUR KEYS?" he yelled when Natsu for once entered through the door with me, sniffling now, in his arms.

"Oh, hey Loke," Natsu said, and walked past the angered lion spirit, into the bedroom where he carefully placed me in the bed. As soon as he let me go, I sat up against the wall.

"Don't you want to sleep or something? You look like hell," Natsu commented, and I shook my head.

"No. I don't want to sleep,"

"And why is that? You have to sleep sooner or later,"

"She's been like that since the last mission with Team Natsu," Loke butted in, and I sent him a warning look before wrapping my hands around my legs again. Natsu looked at me more intently, cocked his head to the side.

"She even mentioned leaving, though she never acted on it until today, BEFORE I got up," he continued. Damn. Natsu got the sad eyes then. The sad puppydog eyes.

"So what? I didn't run. I only wanted to visit Mama, is all. It's been a while," I mumbled. It had been a while. That wasn't a lie. And I wouldn't run. Not unless I were told to. Honestly I didn't believe the day would be there, but then I saw the people at the guild. Angry. Disappointed. The day might be nearing.

"Tch. I hope you congratulated her from me, or there WILL be hell to pay," came a voice from the bathroom. Aquarius.

"Congratulate?" said the boys in unison.

"Damn brat didn't tell you? July 7th is Layla Heartfilias birthday, and the day she died." her voice showed hints of sadness at the last statement.

"So did ya, brat?!"

"I did. I said hello from everyone," I answered, and with another tch I heard her go back to the spirit world. Damn Aquarius, meddling in these affairs. She did care very much for my mother, that one, under that tough exterior of hers.

"So now you know. I didn't want to worry you, since you all seemed so happy yesterday," I mumbled. Happy and smiling.

"You were there?" he asked, blushing all of a sudden. Yep, a rare sight indeed, though not the first time. I still remembered when he told me about his suspicions regarding Lisanna on the last mission we went together on. I nodded, a small smile grazing my lips. I still hiccuped a bit after all the crying, but had started to recover.

"Well, DUH. If I knew you would be barging in I would've left a longer note, you know. The one you found were meant for Loke. You all seemed busy, so I figured a day wouldn't be noticed..." he stared at me as I said it.

"Congrats, by the way. How does it feel to be ambushed like that?" I grinned, and a new shade of red adorned his face.

"What happened?" Loke asked.

"I do believe Natsu got his first kiss yesterday," I said while smirking. This made Loke raise an eyebrow, and stare between the two of us. Of course he would jump to such conclusions... I ignored the tinge. Or was it a stab? Who cared, I enjoyed looking at the embarassed dragonslayer, and his lack of words.

"Shut up..." he mumbled, and I laughed. When did I last laugh? Honestly, I didn't remember. Perhaps was it the fact that he took away some of the feeling of abandonment? Not that I trusted it too much, but... We sat in silence for a while, on opposite ends of the bed, Loke standing and looking kind of business like.

"You should sleep, Lucy. You look tired, and last time you slept you passed out on the floor, two days ago," he commented, and I glared at him.

"One, you don't know what I did and did not do on my way to Acalypha. Two, I laid down quite voluntary, thank you very much," I replied stubbornly.

"You passed out.. on he floor?" Natsu asked, and we were back into the awkward silence.

***AND.. lets end it there!

Guess some of you figured Lucy would be leaving in this chapter. Well,guess again my friends. This one is kind of sad though, I have to admit. I hope people cheer up in the next one. Yes, there will be a next chapter coming.. sometime. Oh, and I finally figured out what POV stood for. By the gods, I am slow at times...***


	11. Chapter 11

***I considered postponing this one, even though I had it done already. But then I though, what the hell, might as well release it now.

As a writer I usually meet a lot of.. what you call'em.. crosspoints? Places where the story might develop in several directions, and I have to choose which ones will go in the general direction I want the story to go. Sometimes I have to go back and choose a different path. Last chapter I ended up on the wrong road. The slapping incident should've led to a few sulky days alone in the apartment, followed by a breakdown and a lot of ruined things, courtesy of Natsu, Erza and Gray. Too boring and angsty, so I retracked and chose a different path. The slapping itself never got removed since since Natsu was angry at the moment. Not too much of a reaction around the slapping itself since Lucy at that point broke down due to other reasons, aka abandonment issues. Might be cleared up in this chapter, might not.

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

After that the boy refused to leave before I fell asleep. His determined glare lasted for about half an hour before he lay breathing slowly, sprawled all over my bed. Meanwhile Loke sat on the sofa with his arms crossed, half asleep but clearly awake enough to notice if I did something stupid, like leaving the apartment. Slowly I let go of my legs, tried crawling out of the bed, aiming for a quick escape to somewhere within the apartment but away from them. A hand locked itself around my wrist.

"Where ya goin'?" Natsu mumbled. I were unsure wether or not he was asleep still.

"Bathroom."

"Liar."

"Fine..." I settled back in my spot in the corner. I guess he was in defense mode still, so I wouldn't get out of this one. Not after Loke pulled the laying on floor fact. I had tried convincing him that I merely fell asleep on the floor, but Natsu didn't take the news well in either way. So what if I felt uncomfortable sleeping on the bed, lately? Natsu was right about it being too damn comfy, thus trapping me in the dreamworld for far too long. The floor made me wake up if I squirmed too much.

Cold. I stood in the park, and pink Sakura flower petals flew around me, mixed with snow. Fairy Tail was having a sort of celebration there, and I could spot Team Natsu sitting and laughing on a blanket while eating and drinking. Lisanna sat and smiled sweetly in spite of being within Natsus flying food range. I saw Cana drinking from her barrel, laughing at something Master said, and Mirajane walked in between members serving like usual. I walked towards them, happy and smiling. I didn't know what we all celebrated, but a celebration was a celebration. No one looked at me while I passed, but I didn't mind. My closest friends were my goal, and I made my way over to them. Ashflakes got mixed in with the pink and white as I neared them, and suddenly I saw Natsu and Lisanna kissing.

I still smiled, and waved in their direction, yelled to make them notice my presence. Then everything changed. Somehow, the sky had been clear despite the snow, but now dark, looming clouds made the nice day shadowy. People looked at me in disgust, and I felt them growing around me. "That, is LOW". "You should just leave". "What are you doing here?". I heard the voices, filled with contempt. Then Team Natsu stepped forward. "You don't deserve being on our team after doing that," Erza snarled. I tried stepping back, but found my legs frozen to the ground by Gray. "Running away, are we? Is that all you can do?" he asked, and smirked. "I'm sorry, Lucy, but you were just a replacement," Lisanna muttered, and looked genuinly sorry for me. "We don't NEED you anymore," Natsu said, and looked at me as if I were some kind of stranger. Then his fist were lit afire, and my old team minus Happy and Lisanna charged.

I screamed and bolted away from the foreign object laying in my bed. In the hurry I went head first to the ground since I... well, I tried crawling out and kind of forgot to put my legs on the ground before setting off, this resulting in my hands hitting air and me falling. I heard a groan from the bed.

"Luce..?" mumbled a groggy and confused voice. My breath was ragged, but not as bad as I feared it would be. Well, that was a first. Sure, I had been ignored before, but never attacked. Calm down, Lucy. They wouldn't do that. This was probably just an effect of the faces I received...

"Come on... no one hates you..." I mumbled. At least I hoped not, though the faces did suggest just that. I shut my eyes tightly, held a hand over my mouth to keep breathing through my nose.

"Hates you?" I opened my eyes, and I saw the silhouette of Natsu sticking out from the bed. I had turned around and lay on my back just beside it. I removed my hand from my mouth, sighed when I found my pulse falling to a normal level.

"Ah... you're still here, are you?" I asked, now realizing why the foreign object seemed so warm, and why Loke suddenly had such a weird voice AND called me by the wrong nickname.

"Nobody hates you," he said, his voice firm and surprisingly awake considering that this was Natsu. He usually needed some time. I had to smile at that, a thin smile since I still felt a remnant of shock from the nightmare. A strange one, but still.

"I know that, silly. They're only a bit cross with me for scaring you, is all," I sighed again at that, and sat up, rubbing my eyes, trying to wake up. The dream was short, as well. The darkness outside told me I hadn't been out for long. Damn, was it cold or what? And a BIT crossed with me? Who am I kidding, I probably would get a good asswhipping the next time I stepped into that guild. Erza was SO pissed. I shivered at the mere thought.

"Out of all people, though, I thought you would be the maddest," I looked at his silhouette, couldn't see his expression clearly in the dark, but still looked at his face. The moon outside came out from a cloud and hit my face, showing some of his face though most of it remained in shadows. I noted briefly that we were alone now. Where did Loke go? And when?

"Mad?" he muttered, and I saw something unreadable upon his features.

"Luce... I were scared shitless, you know that?" he said, and then he were there again, hugging me. Warm like always. The great Salamander, admitting to something like that. Now that wasn't like him at all.

"Jeez, you're cold," he whispered into my neck, and I closed my eyes.

"And you're like a human heater, as per usual," I replied softly. I would allow him to comfort me, this once, but afterwards I needed to have a word with him regarding his responsibilities as a boyfriend, including the part where sleeping in another girls house would be a total no no.

"Hey, can I make one selfish request?" I asked into his naked chest. I did notice that little detail, but this was Natsu, after all, and assuming anything would lead me nowhere. Besides, we were best friends, AND he were taken even if we hadn't already friendzoned each other.

"Hm?"

"Could you stay the night?"

"You're weird, Luce. Just you try stopping me," he let me go, and I chuckled. Of course. The too nice boy that had NO idea regarding what his girl would think of such an action. Stab. The pain didn't bother me much. Slowly I got up, and crawled into bed. I settled under the duna, when the weight shifted and I felt Natsu laying down next to me, albeit on top of the duna rather than under it.

"What are you doing?" I asked, his face close to mine. The onyx eyes opened, and he grinned.

"You're cold. Can't have you catching a cold before Team Natsu heads out on the next mission," then he yawned, and closed his eyes, tossing a single arm over me, securing me in case I wanted to run again. I quit Team Natsu, remember? I might've been slightly drugged by the fear after facing the angry guild, but I still intended to quit the team. Oh well, I could always break the news to him in the morrow. Right now he looked too damn peaceful. Instead I chose to accept his affection, and closed my eyes, shifting into a more comfortable position.

"Night, Natsu," I whispered.

"Night, Luce," he mumbled back, and like that the both of us drifted off.

***Hope you liked it. If not, sorry, but shit happens. No, I am not mad or furious if you don't like my story, I get that I can't appeal to everybody. The ones that DID like it though, I hope you liked this little cute moment. I guess that people that disliked my story wouldn't have gotten to the 11th chapter anyways.

Tell me you liked it, or tell me you didn't for that matter. If you can be bothered, tell me what I might want to improve. I appreciate advice, even though I might end up not following it. Such is the way of life, hey :) No Beta reader, so all mistakes made grammatically will by my fault, and I will take responsibility.

Now... shall I take a brake or shall I not? Decisions, decisions... Oh well, until next time, may you all have a pleasant time! Sjåast snart! ;)***


	12. Chapter 12

***Ah... sorry about that. I honestly thought I released this yesterday, and were getting kind of cranky due to the lack of reviews, but then I noticed that Realization only displayed 11 chapters. Better late than never, right? I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. And here we go again! ;)***

Warm. Warmer than in a long time, yet not uncomfortable. Just... unusual. I lay still, slowly recovering from my deep slumber, my brain trying to comprehend what was going on. No nightmares this time. No waking up cold. No screaming. So warm. But why? My body was sadly incapable of making much heat on its own, so waking up having to warm myself in the shower wasn't unusual. So what was this? Oh well, I guess it wasn't half bad...

Then I wondered. Something was off. I tried shifting in my half asleep state, and realized that this was nearly impossible. I were stuck, so to say. My brain processed this for a while, and then came to the conclusion that the warmth came from whatever kept me from moving. Then I heard a slight groan. Not from me. My eyes opened up wide, and I almost shrieked in surprise. Thankfully my body was still too tired to react much, so my brain stopped me before I could make this embarassing scene even more embarassing. That is, if that was possible.

Natsu had, at some point during the night, gotten under the duna with me. Not too unusual, I had awoken more than once finding him there, but never had he wrapped his arms around me, hugging me so closely to his body, pressing my face onto his bare chest. Whoa, and the sun was really high too, by the little I could see of the light. It had been a long time since I slept this long.

"Natsu..." I said carefully, and he came with another grunt, his grip tightening. Yikes.

"Natsu." no reply. No reaction. I could feel his breath on my hair, his chin resting on my head. Ok, so I know that he only yesterday thought he lost an important nakama, but there are limits... I took a deep breath.

"GET THE HELL OFF ME YOU PERVERT!" I yelled and tried pushing him away. Not an easy task, to say the least. And okay, pervert might be a bit much, but it usually made him react quicker, so...

"Luce... five more minutes..." he mumbled, and then I felt him flinch. Okay, slow reaction, but if nothing else he noticed his position, if not my words.

"I appreciate your efforts in keeping me warm, but I think it's time to get up," I said teasingly, and he let me go. I got up before the situation became more than it was. Even a rock like him might get the fact that friends rarely did that with each other. Then again, Natsu might think ths was completely normal. He had bathed with both Erza and Gray naked before, so...

I did my morning routine, and weren't the least bit surprised to find Natsu sleeping in my bed yet again when I returned. This was late though, even for him.

"Yo, Natsu. I need to talk to you about a few things." I said, firmly and kind of loud without yelling.

"Hm?" Good, he was awake, even though he looked gone.

"Sit up, will you?" he grunted at that, but did as I told him. Good boy. I stood in front of him, my arms crossed. I wore my blue skirt today, along with my white shirt decorated with a blue cross. Time to beat some new ground-rules into the boy so he didn't end up being killed by a certain silver-haired barmaid.

"Now, there are a few..."

"Shit! It's late, and I'm hungry! Let's go to the guild!" he yelled all of a sudden, and ran out of the open window. I sighed. That boy... Fine, I guess I could tell him later on. Perhaps Lisanna would spare me the trouble and do it for me. She knew him far longer back than me, and would probably realize that his behaviour weren't meant in any other way than as a friend, but in any case. If MY boyfriend ran around sleeping with other girls, even if sleeping was the extent of it... Yep, I would have to support her in that, if nothing else. As a start I locked the window before heading out.

On my way to the guild it hit me that he didn't go after my fridge right away, like he used to do back in the days, but then again I doubted anything in there would be edible now. Running away, was he? Then again, he might know of the emptiness already.. He probably raided it when he found my note... damn note. Damn misunderstanding. And that reminded me of the punishment that probably awaited me. This day was quickly spiraling downwards, but I better get the whole thing cleared up now. If I let it fester I would only make it worse for myself.

I stepped into the guild, and as expected people stared. What was surprising was that Natsu wasn't there. So he did indeed run away, huh. Or he went to fetch his girl, whom also were missing at the moment.

"You look kind of tired," Gray broke the silence, and I walked over to him where he sat by the bar, enjoying some ice. Ah, I forgot putting on the concealing cream today...

"Actually, I slept kind of good last night, but that's beside the point. Where's Natsu?" I answered, and he raised an eyebrow.

"Barely saw him swipe by the guild after you left yesterday. You sure you want to see him yet?"

"I kind of already did. I THINK he forgave me," I said, and this made his eyes widen. Then he smirked. I sighed. Of course he took the perverted approach to my statement.

"We need to talk," a stern voice said behind me. There it was. The punishment.

"Fair enough, Erza." we went up to the infirmary, currently empty, and she turned to me after I closed the door.

"What REALLY happened yesterday?" she asked. I blinked.

"What do you mean?"

"Don't play dumb, Lucy. I saw it in your eyes. You didn't expect the anger that met you, and you know better than most how Natsu feel about his father. So what is the REAL reason behind your disappearance?" she actually explained it to me rather than getting violent like she usually would upon not getting a straight answer right away. That patience was growing thin, though.

"I visited Mamas grave," I answered simply. This made her soften up a bit.

"I see... but why did you leave that note behind, and with your keys?"

"The note were meant for Loke. I only left for a day, and figured most people would be too busy to notice. I.." I swallowed. Here goes nothing..

"I wanted to be alone that day, 'cause... July 7th is.. well WAS her birthday, and the day she died," I looked at the floor, didn't need to specify who SHE was. It was a touchy subject, and I didn't want to reveal too much, but I figured they had the right to know. Then I looked up.

"I apologize for making people believe... I truly am sorry." I said, and she stared at me. Gaped. I guess I didn't need to add the fact that leaving had been on my mind for a while that day.

"I will clear this up immidiately. I heard you talked to Natsu as well. I take it he understood your reason?" she said. Serious like always. Such an uptight person, but I knew she cared for all her friends. I saw that she felt sorry for me, and even though it made me feel slightly uncomfortable, it also made me feel loved.

"Somewhat, though I gave him quite the scare," I answered. She nodded, and then walked over to me, gave me a gentle hug.

"You know Fairy Tail. Your happiness is our happiness, and your sadness is our sadness. You should have told us," she said, and I nodded, before we broke apart.

"Let us head downstairs," she declared. I smiled. We both headed downstairs. People seemed surprised by my lack of injuries. Erza explained the situation, and soon the rage changed to sadness. I spent the next half hour being patted on the head, hugged, and Mira gave me a milkshake and a salad on the house. Then, as things started to settle down, Natsu arrived, along with Lisanna. Ah, the welcoming feeling of being stabbed in the chest. No, Lucy, he is not leaving you behind, and you cannot leave him either. A few ground-rules had to be set though. Oh, the joy of the explaining the reasons behind such rules to this idiot... it almost made me groan, since I already knew he would have troubles accepting them.

***Hm.. what to write next? I have a few ideas :) Tell me you liked it, hated it, or just read it ;) Hopefully we shall meet again soon! :D***


	13. Chapter 13

***It's been a LONG week to say the least, but finally my group exam is over and done with. Can I assume you had an equally busy week, or did you guys merely choose not to say anything regarding my last chapter? Nothing to say, perhaps? Anyways, now that at least ONE of my subjects are over and done with, hopefully with a decent grade as well, I thought I might give out this darling since I managed to finish it and all. You know, just to be nice. Or not.

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

"Paranoid bastard..." I mumbled. Somehow I had ended up sitting between the window and a very motionsick Natsu when we headed out on our misson, currently traveling by train. On his other side sat Lisanna, trying her best to comfort the poor boy, but I were too annoyed to give him any pity at the moment. Across the table sat Gray, eyeing Erza suspiciously after she knocked out the dragonslayer yet again. I would have escaped after that, if it weren't for his hand being locked around my wrist.

"Well, it is to be expected, especially after the Lisanna incident," Erza muttered, but still eyed my caught wrist with suspicion. Was he really out of it, or did he just pretend to in order to avoid any more punches from her?

"He really was affected by that, wasn't he?" Lisanna mumbled, and we all turned to her, where she fiddled with her fingers, staring at her lap. Natsu was leaning against her.

"Well, the most important thing is that you're back. I don't think I've ever seen him so happy," I said in order to avoid the awkward silence.

"Aye! He really missed you!" Happy chimed in from his position on my lap. He really had been absent lately, and I didn't know exactly what he had been doing. He hadn't showed up at all the night Natsu showed up at the park. This was only two days after, of course, so he might've just been resting for all I knew.

I stared at the moving landscape, thinking about the events that had happened during this short time. Natsu and Lisanna were inseperable, like usual, but every now and then he would also check each and every one of the members in Team Natsu, as if making sure we all still lingered. I were last in line, and also the first to declare my intent of leaving for the day. Of course he wanted to walk me home, but I refused. After making several promises that said I would be going nowhere out of town, and one about meeting up a the trainstation the next day to go on a mission to subdue a minor dark guild, he let me go.

"Why are you laughing?" Erza questioned me.

"Just imagining everyones face when Natsu pried that window open," I smiled, and gave a look to Lisanna, that instantly blushed.

"You knew about that?"

"I woke up early and got the story from Mira before heading to the trainstation," in detail, no less. Apparantly Natsu had attempted to break into Lisannas room, making Mira go all Demon when Lisanna screamed by the surprise. Only Elfman managed to hold her back long enough to allow Natsu to make a run for it when he realized what was really going on. He had to perform a full take-over in order to do so. At least Natsu didn't come to my house, 'cause I woke up crying today again, though less than usual. I had appeared at the guild so Mira could make me something to calm my nerves. I laughed at her story, and drank the mix she had prepared.

FLASHBACK

"Lucy... I'm sorry about doubting you," she mumbled as I sipped at the drink, feeling the calming effect right away. It was really early, so we were the only ones there.

"It's alright, Mira," I smiled at her, but she shook her head. We stayed like hat for a while, in silence.

"So, Lucy. How long have you been having bad dreams?" she asked all of a sudden, this made me stare at her, and then it clicked. Gray. That boy...

"Well over a month. I were scared, since the last time... but they are getting better, I think," I sighed, and rested my face on the hand resting on the counter.

"Last time?" Of course she picked up that one. I hestiated a bit, though I figured the question would come.

"Last time I got them, this bad... Mama died. She was very sick, and I worried so much I couldn't sleep. So... I broke. I refused to sleep, and always stayed by her side. I didn't eat. I didn't go out. My world was getting up, checking on her, being chased out, then waiting until I could try again. I would faint every now and then, and the nightmares were bad. Eventually I didn't dare sleep. I didn't dare go to that dark world." why did I say this? Why did I share such a thing with anyone? The fear. The loneliness.

"Father was not much better. He yelled a lot. I stopped speaking, stopped understanding. Stopped caring. When words stopped working, he used his fists. Then his legs..." I took a deep breath. Too late to stop now.

"The day I found her, the 7th of July in year 777, I had a total breakdown. I had to relearn how to speak, act, dress, everything. It took me years to even recollect I had a mother. Father became distant, and wanted little to do with me. Then, eventually, I ran away, when I found a guild that were known for being a family. I wanted to know... what a family was. What the books I read was all about. And here I am," I looked up at that, and saw a silent Mira staring at me, the mug she was cleaning completely forgotten. I hadn't told ANYONE about that particular part of my history, and the people that knew didn't know my side of the story. They only knew that a little girl broke upon finding her dead mother, and protected the little soul that remained afterwards, untainted by the past she once had.

Then Mira started crying, and hugged me. She muttered incoherent sentences in a sobbing yet soothing voice, just like a mother. I cried some myself, and then we smiled. She thanked me for sharing such a terrible story with her, of all things to do. Then she saw me off, getting a few odd looks since people had started to come somewhere during our crying session. But they didn't pry. I guess they figured it all would be revealed eventually.

FLASHBACK END

"What are you thinking about?" asked Gray, and I focused back on him.

"Stuff. You should get your clothing back on before Erza returns from the bathroom, though," I blushed slightly and turned my gaze to the window while Gray cursed and managed to save his ass before the scarlet mage got back. Lisanna was sleeping, and so was Natsu. Well, technically he was out cold due to the strong fists of the Titania, but point was he wasn't awake. I noticed that the death grip around my wrist had loosened, and smiled. He finally relaxed some, huh?

"He doesn't seem to have forgiven you yet," Gray commented, and looked at my wrist. I tried freeing it, and it slipped out of his grip. The moment after Natsu sat up, alert, looking about, before seeing me there, and he fell to the side again, groaning, now being supported by my shoulder.

"You really are something, you know that?" I mumbled, and gently tried pushing him towards Lisanna so he could lay against her again, but then she fell sideways as well, now being supported by Natsu. My turn to groan.

"Get off, you.. gah, never mind," I sighed when he started snoring, falling asleep again.

"Aren't you going to push him off?" Gray asked, and chuckled at my weird expression. A mixture of annoyance and accaptance over the inevitable.

"How can I do that after the mess I made? Besides, if I move him now, Lisanna might wake up as well, and the both of them look too damn peaceful..." I looked at their faces, envied how they could sleep so well.

"You're smiling weirdly again, Lucy," Happy commented, and I looked down upon him, my eyes narrowing and my smile faltering.

"For the umpteenth time, I am not." I said, and he instanly flew over to the safe side, sat down next to Gray.

"She liiikes him," he said teasingly, and I growled some kind of reply, stared out of the window. Then I felt some shifting next to me, and I flinched when Natsu nuzzled against my neck, making the hairs at the back of my neck stand due to his hot breath. He muttered one single word, so lowly only I could hear it.

"He better have a damn good dream, or I swear, he's going to regret this when he wakes up," I said with a slightly red face, before closing my eyes, leaning my head against the window, shifting ever so slightly so his head moved away from my neck.

"Wake me when we're there," I mumbled. I were going to regret this later on, I were sure, but staying with this asleep Natsu would be too much, especially... I sighed inwardly. Especially when he did that to me when he should've done it to Lisanna. It was her name he muttered, after all.

***I look at a pale figure laying unmoving on the ground. *poke*. Nothing. Ehem, that would be my muse. It's not dead, I think. Just resting. Without breathing. I suspect it either died or is waiting for unsuspectng characters to pass by in order to kill them in the most horrendous ways. Thus this might take some time. Perhaps I should take some of my clippings and create the most tragic fanfiction yet.

Love it, hate it? Please do tell, I'll keep my creeping muse at bay, for now.

*holy shit, she's moving... hey, don't do THAT!*

Anyways, hope to see you all soon ;)***


	14. Chapter 14

***Oh my.. I actually managed to finsh another chapter. Indeed, i turned out rather short, though, but I found it amusing, so here we go anyways :)

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline!***

I didn't sleep. Not really. I had only shifted my body enough to place Natsus head further away from my neck. Other than that, I kept my eyes closed. I were okay, right? Natsu was holding my wrist again, so obviously he didn't want me gone, right? The way he moved in his sleep, though. I might give him a piece of my mind after all when we arrived.

Running. Dark. Then suddenly I tripped, and...

My body jumped awake though I still kept my eyes closed. Just a minor step towards the world of dreams. It was okay. I were awake again now, and took in my surroundings from my "sleeping" state. Natsu groaned slightly though he obviously still was sleeping, not appreciating my sudden movement. Close as ever, though my leaning against the glass kept him from touching my neck.

"That is SO cute..." Lisanna whispered from a little distance, as if she'd moved over next to Erza.

"Whoa, Lisanna, when did you wake up? You sure it's alright, though?" Gray shot in, and Lisanna giggled.

"Better than having him suffer the train OR Erzas fists, you know. I've been awake for quite a while," she answered.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean you're crazy strong, Erza. At least now he seems to be alive," she giggled, and as if to prove her point Natsu shifted closer to me, slowly moving an arm behind my back. Annoying, annoying annoying annoying... don't you dare...

"Besides, it's not like I.." I didn't get the last part since the bastard once again nussled against my neck, and then my eyes sprung open when I felt a wet sensation where his mouth was, and a slight tug from his teeth. Before he could dig his teeth into my flesh and literally take a bite out of me as if I were a bloody chicken or something I screamed. He jumped awake himself, but before he managed to groan upon realizing we still were on a train, I hit his head so hard that he instantly passed out again. I fumed.

"He is.. ARGH!" I stared at him with disbelief where he lay sideways on the seat, looking dead. From now on... if he EVER did that again... I were going to flay the guy, or better yet, make Erza flay him.

Alas, most people seemed genuinly confused by my sudden rage. They hadn't been paying attention, and any recollection the culprit might have regarding the incident was lost in the amnesia caused by my violence. I still had to drag him off that damn train though. The rest of the team kept their safe distance, though I heard Happy mumbling something containing the words "scary" and "Lucy". I dropped off Natsu when he finally came to, sent him a killer glare and then proceeded to walk ahead.

"'Sup with her?" I heard him ask the rest of the team as we made out way towards the town where the client would await us.

"Whatever it is, it's YOUR fault" Gray answered.

"What d'ya say?" was the instant reply, and a verbal fight ensued, though Erzas presence kept the violence to a minimum. In the meantime, Erza caught up with me.

"What DID he do?" she asked in a low voice.

"I ought to kill him, honestly..." I muttered to myself, and I sent a sideglance towards her. I didn't think he deserved the wrath of Erza though, but still.

"Damn Natsu and his dreams... So, Erza, where is the client we'll be meeting?" I decided to let it go, temporarily. The mission might give me something to vent my anger on, too. The anger, and... confusion. I didn't even know what the fuck was confusing me, but... ugh, just trying to find out made me more confused, and I might be having a headache coming on.

Of course it was too late to meet the client, though I had my hopes on getting this whole thing over and done with. After siding with Natsu for once, wanting to attack the place right away, I finally agreed on staying the night at an inn before proceeding onto the job the next day. We found a traditional place with a hot spring, and got a room from there. Yep, A room rather than SOME rooms.

We were heading for dinner when Natsu finally managed to drag me off.

"What'd I do?" he asked and crossed his arms. I glared, crossed mine as well. A staredown commenced. In the end he growled in defeat.

"Fine. Do the same to me and call it even," he said. What the hell? Since when would he do such things? I mean, he would rather yell or hit himself to forgiveness, not demand...

"What the.. like hell I'll do that!" I answered and felt myself blush.

"Couldn't be THAT bad considering no one saw it."

"I might not be a boy, Natsu, but you were dreaming about... something, and since it involved Lisanna..."

"What do you mean by being a boy? I know you're not a boy." I had to groan at that. He could be SO dense sometimes.

"And I dream about Lisanna all the time. What is THAT supposed to mean?" of course he would come to this. I would not be going there. Nope. Not in a lifetime. Not with THIS particular dolt.

"How would you know, anyways, I don't even remember what I dreamt earlier." he continued. And thank the gods for that, or he might share the splendor of it with me by the looks of things. Perhaps he'd even demand an explanation regarding what it meant... I felt a shiver move up my back at the thought of giving him "The Talk".

"Fine. Whatever. I do it, and we never speak of this again. Ever. Honestly, what I have to do..." he seemed pleased by that.

"Close your eyes," if I were to do this, like hell I would let the idiot watch.

"Why?"

"Just freaking do it," I insisted, and he obliged, reluctantly, and clearly highly alert now. He probably thought I'd hit him or something. Damn right, he deserved to suffer from the suspense so I weren't the only one feeling utterly uncomfortable. I blushed, but closed the distance between us, gulped and mentally prepared myself for what the hell I were about to do. Slowly moved my mouth towards his neck past his scarf, when I felt his body tense.

"What are you doing?"

"Shut up," he could probably feel my breath as I said the words, and I decided to get this over and done with. So I just bit him. Not hard, just a nip, before jumping back a few feet. I didn't nuzzle. Nope, I refused to go farther than this.

"Done. Now that we've both established that we aren't FOOD, let's head downstai.."

"Wait.. I BIT you?" Natsu opened his eyes. There was confusion, and... something i his eyes.

"Yeah, now forget it and follow me down to the freaking dinner-hall, I'm starving," not a complete lie, and we both knew that HE at least needed food soon. That black hole of a stomach he had needed plenty of food thrown at it regularly.

When we arrived Natsu was silent at first, but soon forgot about it when he spotted food. Things were back to usual at last.

"What did he do to you anyways?" Gray asked, and I heard a slight choking sound coming from the living foodprocessor sitting next to Lisanna before I turned to Gray.

"We had a little TALK earlier and the bastard agreed to never speak of or attempt it against me again," meaning we yelled at each other for a while since Natsu refused to believe that he mistaked me for a chicken, which was my argument when he refused to forget about the incident. I sent the boy in question a glare before I cheered up a bit and continued to enjoy my meal.

***Well, that was kind of short, like I mentioned earlier, both wordwise and timewise, if you get me. Only a few hours, in fact. Oh well, if my next chapter ends up being released after some major revising, it might end up a good deal longer. I hope. Unless my muse decides bailing on my yet again.

Give me some comments, will you? God ones bad ones, whatever. I appreciate it even if I might end up seeming distant at times. I have heard from several people that I'm quite the airhead. My apologies for that, and I hope you all enjoyed my chapter. Hopefully there will be another one soon! ;)***


	15. Chapter 15

***Because I'm such a nice person ;) I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline.***

We found ourselves in a room with 4 beds yet again. Was Erza doing this on purpose? The inn was rather updated, I would've guessed futons when I saw it, but nope. Three simple beds and one double. Me and Lisanna got the joy of sharing this time, and I didn't mind. First though, all of us girls assembled for a bath in the hot spring. Well, until Erza muttered something about a pillowfight, and Lisanna and I decided to make a run for it in order to keep our health intact.

"Spill it, girl... what did that rock-dense boy do to you while you slept?" Lisanna asked as she sat next to me in the hot water.

"Not you too..." I groaned.

"Come on! It can't be THAT bad," she purred.

"No, it wasn't. It was weird, and I want to forget about it," especially the fact that I let myself be coaxed into doing the same thing to him.

"Are you blushing?"

"He was dreaming about you, you know," I managed to comment, a desperate attempt on changing the subject and at the same time explain the... incident. This was quickly developing into something much more than it really was. Lisanna seemed surprised.

"I've been meaning to ask, but are you two a couple yet?" stupid question, but then one of the two was very stupid regarding the subject as well. The whole guild might be aware before him...

"Who, me and Natsu?" she asked back. Well DUH...

"Well, yeah, after you kissed and all,"

"You saw that, did you?" she blushed, a cute shade of pink. Then she leaned and put her lips right next to my ear.

"It was a dare..." she whispered, and then giggled. Wait, what?!

"But don't tell anyone, okay? Especially Erza! She'll spill it right away," she said while leaning back. My eyes widened. Then what.. argh, everything just became a whole lot more complicated.

"But.. but.. gah! The boy likes you, you know," I muttered back, well aware of possible listeners even though I were pretty sure they were busy killing each other with pillows. Yes, that was possible. Lisanna rolled her eyes.

"Please, the boy knows about as much about love and the bodily actions coming with it now as when he was five, I'm pretty sure. Or so I thought, until I saw you clubbing him on the train, so spill it. I'm dying to know," she whispered so eagerly, her eyes all sparkly with mischief. But.. she liked him, right? Why would she smile about him doing.. stuff... with other people? Was it about the fact that he was dreaming of her? And what about the dare?

"This isn't how it goes in the books," I mumbled, and the girl laughed.

"Books and real life isn't the same thing. Now come on," she gave me her best cute face, and I sighed. I should know that by now, shouldn't I? I had read enough books to see the deceit waiting within them. The false hope. Fairy tales, the lot of them.

"Fine. It wasn't that bad, you know. Just.. weird. He kind of... bit me,"

"He did what?"

"Funny, that's pretty much what he said when I told him. I figured he'd been dreaming of chickens or something."

"Or fire..."

"Or fi.. HEY, don't look at me like that!" I exclaimed when I saw her face as she said it.

"Maybe he thinks you're hot..." she teased in a low voice. Now I just sighed.

"We're friends. By the gods, where do you get those ideas from?"

"Mira-nee," she answered nonchalantly. I groaned. One of HER was bad enough.

"You're the devil, aren't you..."

"The devils sister, actually, there's a difference. But come on, I think it's bedtime," Lisanna got up, and I followed her.

We got back to the room, and what met us was feathers, one scorched bed, and two unconscious boys, one laying on the double bed. Guess who? Yep, that would be the one that ruined his own bed, Natsu Dragneel.

"Lucy... I have the perfect dare for YOU, and in return I'll give you half the money I got from mine," Lisanna whispered, and I sent her a glance, felt my face heating up.

"By the looks of it, NO. No way, no way in hel.."

"What are you two talking about?" Erza asked, and the both of us turned to an annoyed Titania. Shit. She didn't look happy, and she had gotten a few injuries from the pillowfight earlier, it would seem.

"I'm sorry, but since SOMEONE scorched one of our beds, Natsu will sleep with you two tonight. You Lucy will keep the two others from doing anything.. improper," she said, and then continued to her bed, leaving me standing petrified. Shit. Damn. Fuck. By the hells... I groaned inwardly, but quickly changed and did my before-going-to-bed routine, and then I had to lie between the alleged couple in order to keep them apart. Only, in reality, they weren't a thing, according to Lisanna, anyways. And while I could keep my possible crying session hidden from one bedmate, hiding it from two would be... nearly impossible. Or just impossible. Definitely impossible. No sleeping for me then. The night before the battle... Freaking great.

I closed my eyes, but kept track of my surroundings, constantly aware of the two laying next to me. Don't sleep. Don't move. Please, don't... Shifting in the bed, and I felt Lisanna breathe into my ear.

How did it come to this? I should've figured that Lisanna would be the cuddling kind, she seemed like the type, and I could clearly imagine her and her sister sleeping in the same bed. Yep, her and Mira, not... Anyways, right now I really felt like an unwanted guest in a very intimate moment. On one side lay Lisanna, holding my arm captive and breathing into my ear. On the other side, Natsu lay on his stomach, one arm reaching over me and over to the other side where his alleged girlfriend was soundly sleeping. He too lay close enough for me to feel his breath, warm against the side of my face. Worse yet, the warmth radiating from his body was making me drowsy. He wasn't even snoring at the moment, making it even harder to stay awake. If I fell asleep now I would not be able account for any further development from this already compromising position.

"Lucy?"

"You awake, Lisanna..?" I whispered back, and my eyes moved to see her blue eyes staring back at me. Moving my head seemed like a bad idea, considering she was almost close enough for me to accidently kiss the girl if I attempted to move my face.

"You seem trapped." she smiled and I saw her eyes darting towards Natsus arm that hadn't quite succeeded in reaching her.

"Just shielding you from his funny-business, or Erza's going to have my hide," I looked at the ceiling, and heard the take-over mage giggle softly. We both kept our voices down to avoid waking mentioned mage. She might be harder to wake than she claimed, but equally crankier to make up for it if awoken at ungodly hours. Such as now.

"Not sure wether I am the one that needs shielding though," she muttered back, and I sighed.

"You shouldn't pay so much heed to your sisters words,"

"I pay heed to what I see. You seem awfully calm considering the situation you're in. This happen often?"

"Not like he's doing anyhing funny at the moment, and I thought I might wake you if I moved too much. Then there's Erza..." I shivered.

"He's calm 'cause you're not resisting, is my bet."

"Or 'cause his hand is holding one of yours. How do you explain that, miss he's-not-interested-in-me?" I sent the boy a glance. He seemed completely at ease where he lay sleeping so close to me. His lips were slightly parted, sending out hot air that made half my face warmer than the rest.

"My dare still stands,"

"And so does my answer."

"Awww.. come on. Just a tiny peck,"

"Nope," I said the one word with finality, and continued studying the dark ceiling as if there was something infinitely amusing to see up there. Which there wasn't, by the way. Only ceiling. And it was dark. And I were warm and drowsy. Right now, my life really sucks...

THIRD PERSON POV

The room was eerily quiet, especially considering the individuals dozing off in there, individuals whom usually would be known for their loudness and destructive tendencies. It might be some momentary sense of self preservation, or it might be the fact that the both of them went to dreamland by the powerful fists of Erza Scarlet, but neither of the boys snored. Happy, sleeping on a chair from where he'd been watching the deathmatch, pillowfight-style, earlier, came with a small sound every now and then, sounding suspiciously like the word "fish", giving away the contents of his dreams if anyone had been listening. Not that such a revelation really would have been hard to guess.

There were three beds in total not including the charred remains of the one that got lost in the pillowfight, one bigger than the rest, and in that particular bed lay three teenagers. Those three were named Natsu Dragneel, Lucy Heartfilia and Lisanna Strauss. Lucy had recently given in to the urge to close her eyes for the night, following Lisanna that had fallen asleep moments before, still clutching to her bedmate as if she was some kind of pillow. Right now though, the blonde Celestial mage had started to move restlessly as the world of dreams got the hold of her. By the looks of it, it wasn't one of the happy ones.

Her face grimaced as she tried freeing her arms, both trapped by her bedmates, and her breath slowly rose, her legs silently moving as if trying to run, or at least escape from something. "No." came the whisper, a low sound filled with dread for something that wasn't there, and the boy laying next to her wrinkled his nose as he started to wake from her restless movements. His arm, loosely draped across her stomach and holding the hand of his childhood friend tensed a bit, brought both the girls closer. He took a deep breath, and descended back into his world of dreams, now when the blonde seemingly calmed down.

MEANWHILE, IN LUCY'S MIND

I am here again. Back in the world I fear. Soon the shadows will get the hold of me, and I will be dragged into the red world called Pain. Right now though, I am in Fear, the place in between dreams. Inescapable, but less violent. It is dark, for the colour of Fear is darkness. So I wait. I wait for the black shadows of Anger to grab a hold of me, drag me under so it feels like drowning. I wait, in the dark corner. I can see nothing, nor do I need to see. The days of fighting are over. I'm too tired to fight.

A light makes me whimper slightly, and suddenly I see a boy sitting next to me, his arm draped around my shoulder.

"You're here again, Natsu." I say, completely calm. My voice rings through the darkness, the world so void of sound that my voice sounds like some kind of shout.

"And you brought a friend," I add as I feel the presence of another, sitting on my other side. Silver, illuminated hair. They are both glowing slightly from within, showing me the state I am in. Filthy, bloodied and bruised. Have to be expected, I guess.

"What is this place?" he asks, though since he isn't real he doesn't really need to know. Fair enoough, though, not like I have anything better to do. I am trapped in here, seemingly for days, sometimes, though this particular world has a shorter timespan than others.

"This is Fear. It is a world coloured by the colour of Fear, Darkness. The being called Anger resides here. It's a being that is the colour of Anger. Anger has the colour of bruises, for Anger changes the colour of your skin if it catches you. Sometimes I have to run. This is a waiting dream though. I don't run too often anymore," I explain the simple basics of the world, and see Natsu staring at me before he sends a warning look towards some approaching shadows.

"Don't worry. This is Fear. They won't come after you here." I assure him and send the shadows a wary look. They don't like light or warmth, the very thing my two visitors are.

"What about you?" asks Lisanna. Her presence is more blurry, but I sense her none the less.

"I can manage. This is a dream. Dreams end," I answer, and manage a smile. Suddenly her presence fades, and I grow a bit worried. Have I not gotten a free night after all? I feel the shadows growing, and feel that slight tinge of the fear I have grown so accustomed to before the heat emanating from Natsu increase considerably as he sends another warning glance in the direction of the now backing shadows.

"You should leave." I utter after a while, staring at Anger that still lurks, yet doesn't dare coming closer to the dragonslayer next to me.

"No dragons..." he mutters instead, not acknowledging my words.

"No dragons. For those, I'm afraid you have to pursue your own dreams." I smile. Besides, I don't particularly fear dragons. Sure, I wouldn't dare fight them, but... according to Natsu they can be as nice as they are fearsome. I trust him to be right. His grip around my shoulders loosen, and then he suddenly have his arm around my waist instead.

"I'm not leaving anyone behind,"

"I'll be right behind you. You should be looking for your girl," his grip around my waist tighten, and once again I feel his breath against my neck.

"Already found her..." he whispers, and I feel his smile before he too fades away. Shit, no free night today. Suddenly the whole room is illuminated, showing me things I do not want to see. Remnants of.. things, staining the stone floor with a brownish colour. Behind me, the wall is also covered with a fresher sample of the liquid, red and sticky. It looks like it sprouted from a being being gutted right where I am currently sitting. In the middle of the floor stands a girl with short silver hair. She no longer illuminates the room like she and Natsu did earlier, but her eyes are dark and filled with the liquid I call Sorrow. Sorrow is what makes the windows to your soul bleed clear liquid. Fear is what makes heat leave your body to make you shiver. Anger is what shouts and makes your skin change from skin-coloured to blue, purple or black. Pain is what makes your body cry red tears. The whole room then plunge into darkness, and I feel Anger grabbing me, pulling me down.

THIRD PERSON POV

The room was eerily quiet, especially considering the individuals dozing off in there, individuals whom usually would be known for their loudness and destructive tendencies. It might be some momentary sense of self preservation, or it might be the fact that the both of them went to dreamland by the powerful fists of Erza Scarlet, but neither of the boys snored. Happy, sleeping on a chair from where he'd been watching the deathmatch pillowfight-style, earlier, came with a small sound every now and then, sounding suspiciously like the word "fish", giving away the contents of his dreams if anyone had been listening. Not that such a revelation really would have been hard to guess.

There were four beds in total not including the charred remains of the one that got lost in the pillowfight, two of them closer than the rest, almost giving off the illusion of being ONE bigger bed instead. The moon shone in through the open window, the starry night something to behold on this late summer night. Moonlight illuminated an odd crack in the floor going in between the two closer single beds, almost as if someone had swung a huge sword right there. A red liquid stained the frilly edge of the bed that held a sleeping dragonslayer named Natsu Dragneel. He grumbled something incoherent, and shifted restlessly for a bit, but soon calmed down again as he fell asleep once more. By the end of his bed stood a figure clad in black, holding something that might resemble a katana over his shoulder.

"One down."

***Perhaps I'm not so nice after all. Cliffhangers are so much fun, though, and hopefully I'll be able to continue from here in not too long. This night has been very productive, I might add, seeing how I managed to update all my stories. Might I be burning the candle in both ends? I just might. Oh well, hope this was to your liking. If not... I don't know, too bad I guess.

Well, in any case, see you guys soon, hopefully ;D***


	16. Chapter 16

***I d not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. I am uncertain wether or not this one will be to you liking, but I shall let you be the judge of that***

"Ice make, floor!" the enemy had his feet frozen into the ground, and as the lights came on he had a sword at his throat.

"Moving would be unwise," said the Titania, and the enemy was visibly sweating due to the aura emitting from her, daring him t do just that while promising him death if he did. Not that I saw anything of this.

"Just give me a freaking heart-attack, why don't you?" I mumbled where I lay with my nose pressed against the nose of a still sleeping Dragon Slayer.

"Yo, Lisanna. You alright?" I said a bit louder, seeing how she laid in the same bed as me before it got separated so violently. Now, how did this come to be? Our mission was to stop a band of people working in the human trafficking business while posing as a guild. Their speciality, young females, especially blondes. Which would be why me and Lisanna got placed in the same bed, being spot on and almost spot on as we were.

"I'm alright. You almost got severed in half, though..." Lisanna replied. Well, I were quite aware of that. Thankfully I got swiped to the side just in time, just getting my foot nipped in the process. Natsu was unaware of the fact that two of the team-members were posing as bait. Sort of. I think he kind of figured even though no one told him, and this was the initial plan B in any case. The original plan would be going over to their base, this being the plan if they chose to show up looking for new victims. We had hidden our guild-marks for the occasion.

"Gray, check the area for accomplices, I'll interrogate this one," Erza continued, and I knew she dragged him into the bathroom muttering something about how it would be easier to clean blood off tiles rather than wood. I couldn't help but shiver. Meanwhile I heard Gray slip out the window. I, on the other side remained stuck with the drugged Natsu and a giggling Lisanna. About that..? Well, we ordered food to our room, and Erza suspected it to be drugged, so Natsu ate all of it. Her suspicions were right. True, they had their pillowfight first, and Erza really did knock the two of them out, but come on. They never remained unconscious for long, and Gray had already woken up (though he remained "sleeping" for a while longer) by the time we returned from our bath. By that time it had already been decided that I would become the one to sleep next to him after he destroyed his bed. Something about me being used to it. Personally I felt like a sacrificial goat at the moment.

"Stop snickering over there and at least get a look at my foot," I muttered, and heard her get up, though the snickering continued.

"Luce.." I stiffened when he mumbled my name, since he should be pretty out of it after eating drugs meant for five people. Besides, I think this was the first time he mentioned me rather than his unofficial girlfriend.

"Hm?" I replied softly, and he smiled. What the..? Never a good sign, time to make my escape.

"You can let go of me now," I continued. Perhaps he was awake.. it was worth a try. Nothing..

"Why don't you just do it already?" my face started steaming.

"Lisanna, stop giving him weird ideas and don't phra.."se it like that. That was my line, but I got unexpectedly preoccupied as Natsu followed her advise and, as Lisanna phrased it, just did it. With him being drugged and all, the kiss didn't last long. He sighed when he finally let go, and hot his breath hit my face that was already reaching a new dark shade of red, probably rivaling that of Erzas hair.

"I refuse," he mumbled.

"Huh?" what in the world was he talking about? He didn't answer though, as he fell back into a deep slumber. Without letting me go.

"Lisanna?"

"Hm?"

"If you EVER mention this to ANYONE..." I let the threat hang there, and she grinned.

"The secret is safe with me," she proclaimed. For how long though... and for what purpose? Idiot, doing this, and then just falling back asleep, not even giving me the liberty to yell at him. Wait. Not yell at him? Whatever was I thinking?

"Natsu you INSOLENT, ANNOYING SON OF A.."

"I'm back," Gray announced.

"LET ME GO NOW OR I SWEAR I'M GOING TO.."

"Something happen?" he asked.

"AND AFTER THAT I'M GOING TO.."

"Personal issues... let's just say someone is going to have a tough time when he wakes up tomorrow," Lisanna replied in her smiling voice, a voice that reminded me once more of her sister. In the background screams could be heard as Erza conducted her interrogation on our first victim. I took a deep breath after yelling without getting any results whatsoever. I had an arm free, seeing how he never got to restrict it, but decided to give up my struggle. For now...

"What the hell is going on? Weren't all of you drugged?" said a voice, and I managed to lift my head to see over Natsus shoulder. There, by Grays feet, sat a man in his fifties. He had grey hair and a mustache that kind of resembled the one my father used to have back in the days. Before he lost his fortune, that is.

"Nope, just Natsu over there. How is he, by the way? And you too, Lucy, didn't that other guy cut you?" Gray seeemed unconcerned by the things going on. I briefly wondered when I stopped reacting harshly to Erzas alternate interrogation methods.

"He's alive, temporarily... and I don't feel the cut at all," I replied, and saw him smiling nervously before dragging his captive over in order to study my foot.

"This doesn't look too good, though you should be fine... what do you mean, don't feel it?"

"She got cut by the sword?" asked the captive.

"Yeah..."

"She should be ou like a candle soon, then,"

"..? Now when you mention it... You look kind of red, Lucy," Gray stared at me. Well, pardon me, but I were caught in a rather embarrassing situation. I used my free arm to try and pry the arm stuck at my waist off. Nope. For a passed out person Natsu sure had some strength in him.

"Ah, I guess I should hand you over to Erza now, though, she usually asks the questions,"

"You don't want to go in there, do you?" said Lisanna, and suddenly the troubled boy stared at me.

"I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm kind of preoccupied over here..." my vision started to blur. I still had my head lifted in order to look at Gray standing be the edge of the bed.

"I see... it's your lover, is it?"

"HE IS NOT MY LOVER!" I yelled at the prisoner and felt my face heat up again. And I saw Gray smirk. Yes, smirk.

"If I weren't out of reach right now you would be..." I trailed off while I pointed accusingly at him, though my finger gradually got off its mark as I failed to keep my arm raised. Aw.. shit. The slurry words took the edge off my threat, but then I had to close my eyes. Too much effort. Damn. When I woke up... someone would pay.

* * *

Morning eventually arrived, and the people in Team Natsu were readying themselves for yet another day of capturing individuals in the made up guild Dark Shadows. That is, not including the blonde celestial mage Lucy Heartfilia, that still remained unconscious after the mishap from the day before. At the moment the ice mage and the scarlet mage were in town to eat breakfast, while the takeover mage remained back in the room to look out for the unconscious Lucy and the Dragon Slayer that had some issues getting over the sedation from the night before. So he claimed, in any case. At the moment he sat in the bed with his back propped against the wall, staring at his childhood friend that sat in a similar position in her own half of the bed.

"Spit it out, Natsu," she said, and he flinched before looking away, at the wall.

"I might've done something really stupid,"

"You actually admitting to it must be a first..."

"Not funny,"

"I am aware, Natsu," she sighed, and he looked at her again, his expression conflicted.

"What, you didn't think I'd notice? I've known you for a long time, you know," she continued and raised a brow at him.

"Yeah well, noticing and knowing is two different things," he muttered and looked away again.

"So, why did you..?" she stopped her unfinished question when he laughed uncomfortably.

"I didn't even know at first, not until the incident on the train."

"What, when you bit her?"

"You knew about that?"

"Come on, I'm an expert at making people talk, Lucy is no exception,"

"She tell you everything?"

"She told me you bit her. There is more?" he groaned when he realized he'd walked right into her trap. They remained silent for a bit. In her sleep, Lucy shifted slightly in the bed, a shiver going through her body as she curled into a ball to protect herself. If it was from the cold or something else it was hard to tell.

"So, what are you going to do about it?" Lisanna broke the silence, and the Dragon Slayer sighed.

"Waiting for this all to be over," he replied stiffly.

"Really now?"

"Yes. Really." his voice was a tad annoyed now. Silence.

"She's a friend, Lisanna. A close friend, closer than most.. but still a friend," he said when se seemingly made no move to continue.

"You really are an idiot," Lisanna then replied, and he looked at her again.

"Why do you say that?"

"So you're saying that if you kissed her, right now, you'd feel nothing, just like that day in the guild?" she answered his question with another, and he grimaced. She had to bring THAT up?

"I'd ruin a lot by doing such a thing, just to find out the truth,"

"Oh wow, the Great Natsu Dragneel is considerate of someones feelings. I never thought such a day would come,"

"Shut up..."

"That does remind me, she will most likely attempt to murder you when she comes to,"

"Huh?"

"You'll find out eventually, I'm sure," Lisanna giggled, and Natsu groaned.

"Come on, admit it, you want to know why," she smiled one of her devious grins.

"Fine... spill it, why would she want to kill me this time?" he gave in, and she laughed.

"If you ask her, she might enlighten you,"

"You're impossible..." he muttered, his voice suggesting his surrender. Sometimes, when his childhood friend was like this, getting any information out of her would be a costly affair, and right now he could hardly be bothered. No, his partner would probably tell him whatever he did eventually, after rampaging for a while. Not like she usually kept secrets from him anyways. That, and the fact that she was one terrible liar. Couldn't tell a lie to save herself. Neither could he, for that matter.

"Why is there blood on my bed, anyways?"

"Ah... about that..."

***I got myself a brand new toy, and its called a line divider thingy. Okay, so I do not technically know the exact term, but I guess you get my meaning. You thought someone would die? Now now, you are sadly mistaken. If people were to die, then trust me, it would've been done in a much more flashy fashion. Oh, if you only could see some of the versions written concerning this very chapter. Or perhaps not. You will never know, I suspect.

Now, was it to your liking? I don't know, but I do hope so. Do I know how to continue? Surely, I do not. Behold, the power of procrastination! Yes.. well... Until next time, writhe in anticipation! :)***


	17. Chapter 17

***Hello there, my dear readers. I have come to the conclusion that this story is bad, and as such, I should feel bad. Thus, I tried a completely different approach to it, making good use of the line divider thingy. If you dislike it, then sorry. If you find it confusing, then it might help you that it was intended to be that way. Somewhat... Oh well, here it is, with some extra length as well to make up for a long absence.

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

"They look kind of cute..." Lisanna commented where she sat next to Gray and Erza on the train, all of them staring at the couple sleeping on the opposite of the table. Well, the silver-haired mage knew perfectly well that Natsus sleepig face would be suspicious at best, twitching every now and then, like now when she made that comment. Oh, he was awake alright.

"I suppose," the scarlet mage concurred. What lay before them were two mages that at the moment were looking very much like a couple. As in, a pair, boyfriend and girlfriend. Lucy, still clad in her pink pajamas, sleeping soundly while taking half he bench, her head on the boys lap. Him leaning against the cool window, though one hand rested on the girls face, a thumb stroking her cheek.

"I can't really believe she managed to sleep through all that, though. Must be a potent drug.." Gray added. The others had to agree, seeing how the blonde had managed to sleep through the town being brought to the ground. Didn't even flinch as the inn she stayed at got put to the torch. Funny story, that. It all started when a guy managed to push Erzas cake onto the ground. A lot of stories tend to start in a somewhat similar manner. Now, Erza did know her manners to a certain degree, and with the poor guy being a stranger she would bbe somewhat willing to let that one slide in exchange for an apology and a new cake. Gray stayed out of it, visibly shrinking and slowly moving ot of her immediate reach, since he DID know her, and knew that the step from cold politeness to dysfuctional behaviral complete with random attacks would be small at best and decreasing by the second. That would be when the guy spit on the cake and called them Fairy Trash. He was ensured death upon spitting on the cake. Insulting the guild didn't help. Things quickly escalated out of proportions, bringing Natsu and Lisanna into the mix when one of the foes crashed into the room where Team Natsu had spent the night.

As it turned out, the hideout to most of the members in the imaginary guild Dark Shadows was the town itself, so TECHNICALLY speaking bringing down the townsfolk was part of their job... the town itself just had to suffer as the strongest team in the rowdiest guild in Fiore fixed things in their usual flashy manner. Yes, Natsu would be responsible for the now burned down inn. Since Natsu was.. well.. NATSU, not many people got close enough to see what exactly made him do it. Lisanna had her foes t focus on, and Happy.. well, he was being Happy, not really remembering many details. Lucy stayed close, as she usally did, though for somewhat different reasons this time. None of them spoke of it, but they thught they heard a female scream before things got completely out of hand on Natsus side.

* * *

Dear Mother in heaven.

He was here again. He talked. I'm scared. He told me that it's almost time. If I fall asleep again, he will come for me. I'm locking the windows, and I don't dare sleep. Soon... Soon Team Natsu will be back. They'll know what to do. Perhaps Natsu can smell him... Am I going mad? Is he real? Is the being standing by my bedside only a dream? I need to visit you soon. If you were here, perhaps you would know what to do.

Sincerely, Lucy H.

* * *

I'm scared. Running in some forest, HIM following, though I can neither see nor hear him at the moment. The boy that I have seen so many times, standing beside my bed, staring with his silvery eyes when I wake up from a particularly bad nightmare. He always disappears when I realize he's there, so I can never make ot his exact features, though I know he is young, perhaps my age. Perhaps younger. Clad in black, also the colour of his hair.

"Time is up." the voice whispers, and I can feel his hot breath in my ear. I scream.

* * *

It happened very fast, not giving anyone a chance to fully comprehend what happened. Lucy Heartfilia suddenly screamed in utter terror, making all of her teammates jump, Erza with sword in hand. Happy looked genuinely scared and confused. He jst woke up from his position on top of his blonde companion.

"Time is up," a figure stated, one that resembled the one that almost killed the girl the night before, a being that mysteriously disappeared somewhere while the town was being levelled. He had his katana slung over his shoulder, once again dripping with thick, red liquid, though no bodies could be seen nearby. Then, in a flash of light, the boy disappeared. Lucy Heartfilia disappeared with him.

* * *

It was a dark, place, this. Had it not been for the lantern in his hand, he probably wouldn't have seen a thing, the man walking amongst the prison cells. Down it went, level after level, the temperature dropping for each level. By now he could see his own breath.

"It's always in the last cell, isn't it, the place where I'll find the survivors," he mumbled to himself, sighing as he went on. A bloody mace, filled with skeletons but little more. The walls did have some questionable stains on them, but not new ones. Would there be anyone at all? Well, he would have to check every cell to be sure, now after encountering and dealing with the owner of this place. Ah, the last one! He raised his pace, made his way to the end of the hall, looking into every cellas he passed them. This far down the place had an odd cave-ish feel to it, the prison cells imbedded into the mountain. This one was also empt... no, in a corner, barely visible, he could barely make out a human figure, hiding its face behind its knees, sitting in a manner as if trying to make itself invsible.

"Hello?" the man said, and the small figure jumped. It was a girl, rather young by the looks of it. And alive. Always the last cell... Good thing the man had chosen to check them all. The girl was filthy, clearly hadn't washed for days. Maybe weeks. She also wore a rather odd set of clothes. Grayish due to the dirt, but... and bandages. A bloody bandage on her left foot, also on her hand, though not bloodied.

"Okay, I'll get you out of here, don't worry," the man stated, slowly opened the door to the place. Unlocked. Then again, so had every ther cell he had entered been as well. No one ever escaped from this place, he had heard.

"What's your name, girl?"

"Are you here to kill me?" she answered wth another question, making the man stop in his tracks, scratch his auburn hair. Her voice was so calm, despite the gravity of her question. The voice of someone that almost had given up all hope. There was something familiar as well. Had he met her before?

"No. Like I said, I'm getting you out of here," he neared her once more, had put the lantern down, making his shadow dance, dark and long.

"Reach out your hand," she replied, and he blinked, but did as she said. A filthy hand reached out, touched his. Her hand was icy cold.

"You're not one of them," she almost whispered, and finally a pair of brown orbs showed up from behind their hiding place behind her knees. She smiled.

"Who are they?" the man asked, looked at her hand, and her smile faltered.

"The shadows. Don't worry though, this is Fear. They will not hurt you here,"

"And what about you?"

"I manage. You should go now, though. It is almost time,"

"I'm not leaving you behind. I am a Fairy Tail mage, after all," the man stated, and her smile returned.

"I know who you are, Gildarts." this took the man aback. He did notice the shadows creeping in on them though, as the lantern slowly neared the end of its lifetime. Magic was greatly restricted on the lower levels f this place, so if they did not get out before the light estinguished, it would become quite a hassle finding the way in the absolute darkness. He could ask the girl later, but right now both of them needed to get a move on.

* * *

Dear Mother in heaven

I dreamt of a classroom, the kind where children are taught, with small desks and a blackboard up front. My seat was i the middle, and children sat in their seats, their heads resting on their desks. No faces, the area where they should have been wiped completely clean. There is blood everywhere, on the floor, on the walls, on the ceiling. I see the back of a boy up front, standing behind the teacher. The teacher hangs from the ceiling, an old man with a grey mustache and thick hair in a similar colour. His lips are purple, his eyes black. The boy uses his katana to etch a single word ont the blackboard. SMILE. He turns, and silver eyes glow at me. Then I woke up. Who is the boy? Do you know? Why does he keep appearing?

Sincerely, Lucy H.

* * *

I followed the fellow I knew as Gildarts Clive. Hadn't really talked to the man before, but I knew he was known as the physically strongest mage in Fairy Tail. Feeling disoriented was just the beginning. Were I not in Fear, a place in my dreams? If so, wat did that man do here, if not starting a new horror series involving torture, now by the hands of familiar faces? And when we surfaced... This wasn't Fear, nor Pain. Not anything like anything I had dreamt of in a long time. It they were dreams. If THIS was real, then what about the dreams?

"We just made it. Look, the lantern died. You alright, kid?" I jumped when Gildarts talked to me, forcing me back to reality. A painful one. My foot hurt. My eyes hurt from the light. I were hungry, and it felt like I hadn't been drinking for a LONG time. I stared at him. He sighed.

"No, I'm not going to kill you,"

"..." I opened my mouth, but decided against it and closed it again.

"Are you wearing a pajamas?" he then asked, and I looked down. Quite surprising he managed to see that. The once pink and cute thing now had gotten grey and dirty. Jeez, I probably smelled like... but only if this was real. I still had my doubts.

"Here, there's not much I can do about washing and all before we get back, but this'll make you seem.. a bit better," he then tossed me a shirt that was too big and a handkerchief. I looked at it. Might as well treat this as reality until things went to hell.

* * *

Dear Mother in heaven

Natsu and the rest of his team told me I should quit. We arrived back after the mission, and he declared I were a liability, and that I almost cost us the mission. I didn't know such things mattered to him, but I have been waiting for the request. It hurts. Perhaps the nightmares will go away now, though, since they always tell me at some point that I should quit Fairy Tail. I had a lot of happy memories made there, so there is little more I could ever ask for. The next time we talk I will most likely no longer reside in Magnolia, though I don't know where I should go.

Lucy H.

* * *

Clad in filthy pajama bottoms and a clean but too big shirt I arrived in the town where a train would pass in not too long.

"You seem cold," he commented, and I looked at him. Was this the part where he would make a fire to burn me alive or flay me in order to "keep it that way"? Nothing happened though, though I clearly saw signs of a recent fire, and some ice. I knew this town, or at least the town that used to be here. That mission. I hadn't been there before that, so could I assume that the truth I knew up to that point to be real?

"Here," he put his cloak over my shoulders, efficiently hiding my body away, and showing his.

"What do I even call you, kid? You have a name?" he contined talking. He didn't know me, not even after emerging into the light.

"People used to call me Lucy," or Luce. He nodded, smiled. I followed him further on.

* * *

Dear Mother in heaven

It's weird, I bet, making mental letters to you, but unfortnately I never get to write while I'm awake, so I will do it now. This is Fear, and it would seem I am stuck. Usually I would be stuck here for a few hours before being dragged off to Pain, but now... I think it has been days. A while back the silver-eyed boy visited me here. That was a first, so I asked him up front. Am I going to die here? He said probably, and then asked me if I would want them to forget about me if that was the case. Tough one, right? They're better off never having known me. I know all too well tha they have sufered eogh without my disappearance and possibly tragic death.

Lucy H.

* * *

"Where are you from, Lucy?" Gildarts had been quiet for a while, trying not to touch anything. Understandable seeing how he already broke the door as we entered the train.

"It's gone, the place where I grew up," I replied. At least it stood empty at the moment. Father had managed to drive the Heartfilia Konzern into the ground after all. Now... Was Gildarts going to toss me off the train? Tie me up ad make me run beside it? Stab me multiple times with a fork? Poison me with a non-lethal drug that would cause nothing but pain? Hit me until I were reduced to nothingness like that door? Not yet. No forks in sight.

"Why did you take the train?" I asked him after some time in silence. Hee shrugged.

"A lot of people take the train, it is one of the fastest ways to travel,"

"You don't. To many things to destroy in to close a radius,"

"True, I usually prefer my legs over any kind of transportation. Thought it might be tough on you though." he nodded in the direction of my left leg. It had festered. I didn't even know how long ag I got it, nor wether or not how I got it really resembled how I remembered getting it. Silver-eyes. Hadn't really seen it at the time, but there had been plenty of time later.

* * *

I held his hand when we got off the train in a town I knew too well. Whoa, must be easy to be him, the wole twn rearranging iself in order for hm not to break it.

"You don't sleep much, do you?"

"The shadows will get me the moment I let my guard down." I replied, and he looked at me with the worrying eyes of an adult. I spoke the truth. Slowly it was dawning on me that this might indeed be the real world, but I still held my eyes open. Surprise attack are never any fun, when you have to deal with the shock as well as the pain. One of the two is quite enough.

"Well, I am about to introduce you to a very rowdy crowd," he smiled as he probably, like me, saw a mental mage of the guild I used to be a part of, and maybe still could call my home. Maybe. Would I risk it, though? When he took a step forward I let go of his hand, stared at the guild waiting for the great Gildarts at the end of the arrowed pathway.

* * *

Dear Mother in heaven

I dreamt about my friends, that they all had forgotten me, and no longer could see me at all. It hurt more than any kind of torture they could put me through. If they truly forget about me, then... then I don't know what to do. Then there is nothing left... What have I done?

* * *

"You coming?" the man asked, and I gulped, but nodded, took his waiting hand.

"Don't worry, they're nice people, and will welcome you with open arms," he continued as we started walking. I still hadn't told him that I used to be a member, and that I still remained one. Most likely. If the dreams only remained dreams. The bandage over my hand still lingered, hiding the place where my mark would be. I hadn't checked. Would they remember me when I arrived, or would I face oblivion? If so, what should I do next?

***I think I might have a thing for Gldarts, since he keeps appearing at random moments with his randomness. Hope this spiced things up a little. If you still find the storyline crappy, then tell me. I might end this soon. Perhaps even now. In any case, I hope you all enjoyed the ride, and we'll see if there will be a continuation or not***


	18. Chapter 18

***Hello there, my dearest readers, your prayers have been heard... or your pleas, if nothing else :) Here it is, chapter 18, and it isn't even March yet. My gosh! I have practically gone mental by now, so my stories are written more on the go than ever, clsing in on crack by the minute. Regarding my little depression earlier where I talked about putting down my pen on this story for good, it is.. somewhat dealt with, especially with all your wonderful reviews urging me to keep going! Thanks a lot, guys!

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

It felt like he was playing a game, when Gildarts made me follow him around in small alleys of Magnolia, apparently to avoid setting off the trap that would move the city about. It already had, once, but he had insisted on waiting for it to go back before starting his stealth mission. I got the feeling that Gildarts might be the source of Natsus infinite fascination for ninjas and their ways. Stealth was about as compatible with this man as with his pinkhaired guildmate, or essentially most Fairy Tail mages. It was early, so it was like a ghosttown, making it kind of hard to be noticed, though he did break a few things every now and then, thus earning us a few shouts on our way. He smiled a lot, Gildarts, and held my hand firmly.

"The coast is clear," he announced, and led me behind the guild.

"This is a..." BANG. We stood in the middle of a gigantic hole.

"..wall," I ended. The exact hole he made the first time I met him. So now I stood slightly behind him, his cloak around me like a shield.

"Honestly, can't you use the door? You scared me!" Mira said in her mildly scolding voice. Ths was Fairy Tail all right, where mild scolding was the consequence for making new airing holes in concrete walls. Not even a scream.

"I were trying to make a sneak entrance, thought the usual entrance might be a bit noisy," he answered, and took a step in. I don't want to. I don't want to see.

* * *

The guildhall is dimly lit, and I find myself strapped to the table in the middle. People are standing in the fray, always in the fray. People I know, people belonging to this place. Fairy Tail. The man standing above me has a moustache and hair coloured gray. His eyes are black, and he stares at me with a coldness I have grown accustomed to. Purple lips.

"You made up your mind yet?" he asks, and I stare at him without answering.

"Quit the guild."

"No." I answer the same thing every time. That's when he brings out his tools, and I know this is going to be a long night.

* * *

"Come on, kid, she's not half bad," I clutched to his arm, and he entered. I followed him, and saw Mira washing tables from festivities the day before. There were always festivities the day before, so Mira moved about with practiced movements.

"Since when do you care about... oh my god." she swore when she turned around and saw me. More words came out, and she started stalking towards us.

"Careful," he warned, and she stopped. I heard seriousness in the warning. His voice was soothing in its own way. I trusted him, since he had already proven his innocence somewhat. He wasn't one of THEM. The shadows.

"Hold out your hand," he repeated my words from back then, and Mira did as he bid her. Slowly we walked forward, and I reached out my own hand, touched hers.

"Warmth..." I mumbled, and felt an unknown knot between my sholders easen up. The shadows were always cold. Then my eyes moved up to meet hers. They seemed so worried. Why?

"Do you know me?" such a simple question, yet one syllable might destroy my world, and that one syllable was getting more and more likely.

* * *

The guild was bustling, Mira going about and giving people their orders, be it food or drinks. Both Erza and Gray currently sat by the barcounter, silently looking over it, as if someone was hiding over the edge. The reason might be that a newly bandaged leg, from knee too toes, could be seen from that angle. It had been laying there for a while, unmoving, the owner of it remaining a mystery, hidden out of sight. Mira had, with her scary voice, told them to butt out of it, let the girl rest. So it was a girl. Anything else was unclear.

The door opened with a bang, letting the sun into the hall, showing off people getting drunk even if noon hadn't yet come to pass. They guy entering greeted his family before heading for the counter where the main members of his team still sat in silence, looking at the limp leg.

"What's up?" he asked as he neared them, and Gray turned to give him a weird look.

"Mira is hiding a body," he said, and turned back to the leg, that just then twitched ever so slightly, showing a first sign of life in a while.

"An alive one, it would seem," Erza added, her eyebrows furrowed. She let it slide for now, but she did not agree with this. Her former rival had some answering to do after the big revelation.

* * *

I hear the bustling background, it helps me relax some, helps me pretend. Pretending that everything is fine is good, but I cannot let sleep get a complete grasp of me. So far no one has reached out to drag me under, and I will refuse for as long as possible. Keep the nightmares away. Keep the man with a moustache away. And the fat man. And the boy with the silver eyes. I have started remembering, slowly, that this thng has happened before. I know the boy, and the man with the moustache. At least.. at least I know that I should. Something about... school? As I am about to grasp it, a wall appears, shuts me away from a truth my mind do not wish for me to know, and suddenly I become more aware of the bustling noises arond me. A former partner, and a certain ice mage. I open my eyes wth a start, feel my body flinching.

* * *

"Who is it?" Natsu asked, and his scarlet friend shrugged.

"It's a girl, apparently, and no, we don't know who she is. Mira told us to leave her alone," Erza said the words with finality, and since she kept herself from jumping over the counter, she told the others clearly. Do exactly that, and die. Her ethics were strict as always.

"Hey Natsu, you want the usual?" Mira snuck up from behind, bearing a big smile and scaring the shit out of the three of them, perhaps not Erza.

"Who's laying behind the counter?" Natsu asked and turned back to stare at the leg. The leg was bandaged, but the foot was bare, pale white. A tad scratched, perhaps, and bruised, but not badly injured.

"Gildarts came in with her early this morning. Leave her be, she was in a pretty bad shape. I already sent Lisanna to fetch Porlyusca since Wendy currently is on a mission with Team Shadowgear."

"Then why isn't she in the infirmary?" Titania asked, her voice stern.

"She didn't want to be alone, so she followed me downstairs."

"You didn't answer my question. Do you know who she is?" Natsu repeated himself.

"I don't really know if I..."

"Fine, if that's all, I need a new mission, I'm out of money," the scarfed boy shrugged and decided that the being wasn't really his concern, and went for the notice board to find some mission to pass the time and earn him some money for food.

"Ah, you covered the hole with a carpet.. That's no fun, Mira," Gildarts entered the scene through the hole he made earlier that at the moment indeed was covered by a carpet to keep the outside air out. He stopped when he spotted Natsu staring at him from across the hall.

"Natsu, I were looking for you. You weren't at your house, at the fishing place nor at your usual training grounds." he continued. Mentioned boy grinned and started to make his way over.

"What d'you want to tell me?"

"It's about Lucy," that one name made the guild hush and all faces focused on the mage that had dared speak the forbidden word. Natsu stopped abruptly.

"Gildarts, don't go there..." Erza warned and gave him a weary look. It had been enough of a hassle last time SHE was brought up. A lot of broken things.

"What about her?" the voice of the usually cheery boy was restrained, and he crossed his arms. This was obviously a touchy subject.

"I think I found her," five words. Five, simple words. From the place Erza and Gray were sitting they could see the leg not only twitching, but slowly starting to move. Silence. A hand on the counter, and soon a blonde head came into sight. The hand was bandaged with a rather filthy piece of cloth.

"Ah, sorry kid, this guild is quite rowdy. Did we wake you?" Gildarts turned to the girl that was struggling to stand, her skin deathly pale, her eyes dull with fever. She in her turn rubbed her eyes, blinked a few times, and then turned to the man that had spoken to her. Shook her head.

"It's good timing though. Would you mind introducing yourself? This is my family, Fairy Tail," he continued. The girl looked about, her eyes slowly widening. It almost seemed like she would break if anyone as much as touched her, while it also looked like she would collapse at any given moment without anyone doing a thing. She opened her mouth, closed it again. Opened it once more.

"I'm.. my name is Lucy," she said, her voice thin and tired. The boy standing in the middle of the hall visibly tensed.

* * *

I already heard my name, so why did Gildarts make me repeat it? They don't like me. The air of shock blew through the room, and I couldn't help but believe that they remembered, even if my face alone didn't suffice to trigger the reaction that came with my name. I felt tired. So tired. Keeping my eyes open was a struggle, but I had to, for these people might want me to run soon. Running. Fear taught me to run in order to stay alive. Gildarts might believe I had given up, but I would keep fighting for my life. Even if that life no longer would include anyone I used to know. At least they were safe. If this wasn't another dream. The lingering pain in my leg after the not so voluntary cleanse done by Mira and Gildarts earlier might suggest that. Pain from the world of Pain usually would end by the time the session ended.

* * *

"Is this a joke?" Natsu Dragneel asked, clearly not amused if that was to be the case. He moved his eyes to glare at the girl that visibly shrunk under his gaze. The redheaded girl clad in armor moved herself in a position that would allow her to restrain the boy if need be. The girl in front of her was in no condition to stand properly, much less defend herself if her guildmate was to snap.

"I.. I'm sorry." her voice hit a new low, and she gripped her bandaged hand as if great pain could be felt.

"Are you sure you don't want me to look at that wound, dear? I promise I'll be.."

"NO!" the blonde interrupted Miras kind words, shook her head violently.

"I can take.. any.. punishment. Please, it's all I have.. left." she continued. Then, after taking a deep breath, she looked back at the boy with the scarf.

* * *

I had to say the words. Without fail. Come on, Lucy. Just say it, make him forgive the intrusion, if nothing else.

"Punishment?" I jumped when I heard her voice, so close. That's right, Erza sat nearly right in front of me. I felt my eyes water up, but stopped myself from crying, nodded.

"What excactly IS on your hand for you to be so set up on keeping it there?" Gray asked, his hand subconsciously reaching out for it. I moved my hand in order for him to get the hint. Please, don't touch me.

"My..." I stopped. Would I really want them to know? They would understand, being who they were, but it might make everything worse.

"My Guildmark," I said. Lie to these people? I would hope to avoid that, for obvious reasons. I didn't like lies, and had been told on numerous occasions that I were as good as unable to.

"What guild do you belong to?" Erza asked then. She had that look on her face. The "I will help you get home" look. But she couldn't bring me home to my guild.

"I can't tell you, he'll be mad."

"Who, Gildarts?"

"Where exactly did you find her?" Natsu once agan joined the conversation.

"Fear." I answered. My feet started to wobble by the mere thought of that place. The darkness. The cold. Shadows.

"Her name of the place, not mine. I also asked her where she comes from, but apparently that place no longer exists."

"Did you perhaps think that she might've lived somewhere else afterwards?" Cana commented. I looked at her, where she sat in her corner. She didn't have her usual barrel today. Was she sick, perhaps?

"I did," I replied, and she sighed, got up on her feet, started walking towards me, her hips swinging from side to side.

"Then why didn't you tell me, kid? I am supposed to bring you to Master first, but you might want to tell the people that care for you that you're safe," Gildarts said.

"My guild... doesn't want me to be there," I answered, snuck another glance at the boy in the scarf. He didn't seem like he wanted me around. Other people looked miffed as well, but... he seemed outright pissed off.

"Cana, I don't think that's..." a good idea. That had to be the ending, though I didn't hear it since I in the middle of his warning shrieked and jumped sideways while yelling "Don't touch me!".

Hammer. Saw. Scissors. Knife. Machete. Fire. Ice. Fists. Feet. Whip. Hounds. Images flew through my mind, sometimes images from nightmares where the surroundings mimicked that of other peoples nightmares. I had seen people being ripped apart, prisons filled with bodyparts, oceans and rivers coloured by the blood of dead people due to ancient wars. And then the sessions. The sessions where THEY were watching.

Then there was the night in my apartment, after waking from one of the few dreams where my closest would attack me. "I were scared shitless, you know that?".

"What's wrong? You in pain? Shit, her wound is opening.. Girl, answer me!" I were back in reality, staring at a woman, Cana. She was squatting in front of my huddled form, afraid to touch me again, but clearly not about to leave me alone.

"Don't worry. It does that all the time," I commented in a low voice, touching the red seeping through my bandages. It seems real.

"All the ti.. what? You alright, kid?" Cana seemed to be breathing again now when I could respond. How long had I been out?

"I'm fine, Cana. I'm fine. Just need some time adjusting, is all. The outside... is big." I smiled at the worried woman, a first smile signifying my acceptance. THIS... THIS was REAL. Not a nightmare. Reality, with real people. Good people as well as the bad ones. And it was so huge. After spending my time in Fear, the world was merely getting out. All day, it was waiting for things to calm down a bit, run, getting caught, then repeat.

"He might kill me though..." I added as an afterthought, stating a well known truth. By the gods, he would never let me live this down.

"Who?" I almost did two things again. First thing, I almost had a heart attack. Second, I almost told him the truth then and there. "You might". Thankfully though, I merely pressed my hand against my wound as I jumped from the sudden appearance of an annoyed yet strangely curious Natsu Dragneel.

"Don't sneak up on me like that, Natsu..." I managed to press out while trying my best not to go back to my usual hiding place behind my knees. The urge was almost overwhelming. Almost.

"You might want to give the girl some..."

"Who would want to kill you?" Natsu repeated, cutting Gildarts off. His arms were crossed, and he bore an impressive glare.

* * *

Once more the girl shut down, retorted to using her eyes. Still tired, still injured, yet surprisingly stubborn.

"Natsu, try to look a bitt less intimidating, will you? The girl seems to be in shock," Cana stood up and gave him a warning look, but he kept his gaze on the girl in front of him.

"Understandable, considering where I found her," Gildarts shot in.

"Where DID you find her? She called it fear?" Erza was getting twitchy, seeing her possible target being so close to HIS possible target.

"Some kind of prison, I think it was. Creepy like I've never seen before, with what would seem like a really bloody hist... Natsu, what are you.."

* * *

He reached out his hand, grabbed my arm, yanked me to my feet. Then, it was like his whole facial expression changed. His nose twitched, and his eyes went from annoyed, to confused, to... I honestly couldn't read everything going on, but this close I could see the dark rings under his eyes more clearly. The boy hadn't been sleeping too well, or at least not too much lately.

"Is Happy alright?" it was the only thing I could think of that would bring him on such an edge, unless... Another mage. But the rest of these people weren't tearing up. They were tense, but not we're-about-to-beat-up-some-people-for-hurting-our-own tense. He sighed, rested his arm up to his elbow on the wall behind me, making his face inch closer to mine. I could feel his breath on my face. His eyes were looking, searching, for something.

"You're Lucy," he said, not like a question but like a note to himself. The words were so low I doubt anyone but us could hear it. I managed a small nod, and his eyes squinted a bit.

"Sorry.." I mumbled, and then I felt the darkness envelope me. Not like.. the bad kind. The kind that might mean good sleep, without sessions, running or dead bodies. The kind without shadows.

* * *

The girl that had introduced herself as Lucy suddenly became unable to stand on her own, and the boy that had trapped her between himself and the wall then had an unconscious girl on his hands.

"Well done, flamebrain, you scared her into oblivion," Gray Fullbuster commented, mysteriously enough right next to his friend, and also mysteriously without any clothing but his boxer.

"Shut up," was the reply, and Natsu Dragneel held the girl in his arms, still bearing that curious and confused gaze.

"Icebrain, you ever seen the girl before?"

"Nope, though..."

"..there is something familiar with her," Natsu ended.

"You know, I found her not too far from the village where you took care of Dark Shadows. I were told to bring her and all other survivors along with some research papers to Master, it's part of a mission involving major disappearances and possible murders linked to an old nobleman named something... can't recall his name right now. He worked within the medical department, owned several medical facilities." Gildarts finally got his place back in the conversation, and Team Natsu turned to face him.

"Why only bring her in, then?" Erza asked, she caught the slight pause when he mentioned the others. The kind of pause that didn't bode well.

"I were to bring all survivors in. Thing is, throughout all the facilities I went through, she was the only one. The rest... It would seem that most of them committed suicide shortly after being admitted. The papers give it all up, with detailed descriptions about how they did it, including the mages that tried solving the case before me, all eventually going mad and killing themselves, sometimes along with whoever happened to be nearby at the time. No one has touched this mission for well over a decade, especially since the price dropped considerably when one of the sponsors withdrew, someone named something Heartfilia. He was the one to originally raise the quest to S-rank, but withdrew after his wife perished due to some unknown disease, leaving him as a sole parent for his only daughter, Lucy Heartfilia, that was reported missing from her home around 2 years ago." he stopped for a bit, looked at the girl Natsu now had lifted up in his arms completely. He seemed a bit off, the boy, as if he was uncertain of wat to do with her.

"That matter, however, was solved about a year later, when the same man requested Phantom Lord to retrieve her, something that guild failed to fulfill due to a major clash with yet another guild, an event we all remember quite well. Soon after she was reported as an official citizen of Magnolia," a voice said by the door, and a little man came wandering in, followed by a short-haired take-over mage and a grumpy healer.

"That girl.." he pointed at the blonde.

"...is a Fairy Tail mage." he stated simply.

***Oh my gosh, the plot thickens. Thought I might watch you all writhe in anticipation for a bit longer, but then I got bored, and I ran out of ideas. Well, at least I'm doing SOMETHING, and that got to be good, right, even though I really am having issues with what to write next. And have anyone noticed that my chapters went from 1500-ish words to 3500-ish words just like.. BAM? And, all my other stories are suffering. I got to get to them. I am writing, by all means, but it takes time... Also, I guess this is a way of making time pass while waiting for a CERTAIN movie to get out, one that I thought would be here by 22nd of January...

Anyhow, hope you liked it, and to all you people that aren't big fan of NaLu... I'm actually not certain whether there will be any, but Natsu is Natsu. He likes being weird, especially in my stories. Hope to see you guys soon, but no promises!***


	19. Chapter 19

***HAHA! I made it! It ended up being a very strange chapter, but indeed, I managed to finish it before heading for Eastern Asia. Well done me! I hope you like it, though this chapter is a tad shorter than the last one. In fact, ALL chapters are shorter than chapter 18, but never mind that.

I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline***

Things were becoming more complicated, and fast. The boy sitting by the sickbed felt like the world was playing some kind of trick on him at the moment. A cruel one at that. His life was supposed to be simple. Fairy Tail was his family. His job was to protect this family. Then, around 4 months ago, everything went to hell. What exactly happened the scarfed boy could not account for. Not really. Why? Well... he hadn't exactly been himself. Gray, the bastard, had later on given him a quick recap. He, Natsu Dragneel, had had a breakdown. Not like the kind where he needed some time alone. Not the kind where he could vent it on some enemy that had attacked his family. No. The breakdown had involved a person no one knew, himself included.

It had started on the train heading back to Magnolia after dealing with an organization calling themselves Dark Shadows. Apparently, according to Gray and Erza, Natsu had gone mental. Threw himself off the train. Unfortunately, that train had at the time been on a very tall bridge, so that fit of undirected rage had been short-lived, at least until he woke up in the infirmary back in the guild.

Natsu himself had a slightly different view of the following days. The pain... by the gods, he had never felt anything like it, like being repeatedly stabbed from the inside, kicked in the gut, having a sharp object left inside him to twist and turn unless he found HER. And it was all because of this person called Lucy. Who the HELL was Lucy?! What did she even look like? Why did he have that need to find her, and what was it with the BLOODY PAIN!?

It took about two weeks on the inside of a rune cage made by Fried before the boy had calmed enough to be considered somewhat sane. The pain had lingered, though, subsiding a little, but not much. It was hard to sleep, something he never had any problems with before, and even eating... well okay, he still ate normally, but..

And now. Three days prior Gildarts arrived at the guild, bringing with him a girl claiming to bear that wrecked name. Not only that... that girl turned out to be a Fairy Tail mage that no one had met before. A girl with a cut going from her ankle to her thigh. That seemed afraid of even the smallest touch. Yet still... This was supposed to be HIS Lucy. As in the person that had caused him all this pain. The person he had been screaming his lungs out for for weeks. A person he was pretty sure he never EVER had laid eyes on. Natsu life was supposed to be simple. Now, all of a sudden it was all complicated.

"Still not waking up, huh?" Gray entered the room and sent his old guildmate a wary look.

"Look, are you SURE she's the one that.."

"She is." the scarfed one replied before the ice mage managed to finish his sentence. They'd been through this already. Yes, the girl claimed to have the same name. Didn't mean she was the same person. Could be one hell of a coincidence. Not that it was. That pink insignia would be proof enough that all of them SHOULD know her. That odd feeling of familiarity was there too. What ticked the pinkhaired dragon slayer most though, would be the smell. THAT smell was unmistakable, left no trace for doubt.

Before the discussion could develope in the usual direction that eventually would lead to some kind of brawl, a whimper made both males look at the girl in question that at the moment was in the process of waking up after three long days.

* * *

It was a rather cloudy day for a change in the city of Magnolia, but little could dampen the mood in the towns only magic guild, Fairy Tail. As per usual people were drinking in the early afternoon merely for the heck of it, talking about recent missions and whatever else came to mind. When the main door opened people raised their hands, or cups, to greet the people coming home from yet another mission. Team Shadowgear plus Wendy had succeeded in their quest, with minor collateral damage. That in itself was a major feat in this guild.

"Feels good to be back," Levy McGarden announced while a lurking Gajeel slowly approached the homecomers while attempting to look casual. Suddenly a female shriek ripped through the air, and the blunette merely saw a blur of blonde hair pass by.

"Bound to happen... now pay up," Cana announced while Natsu came running down the stairs from the infirmary for then to proceed past the blue haired mage that at the moment was very confused. He barely uttered a "hello" before yelling the name everyone had agreed not to mention in his presence.

"Aren't anybody going to stop him?" Levy asked while looking at Gajeel that just shrugged.

"She got some feet on her, that one, even though her leg isn't completely healed yet. Ah, he almost got her now," Gajeel looked past Levy, and she turned just in time to see Natsu tackle a blonde girl too the ground.

"Should I even ask?" she mumbled mostly to herself.

"Lucy..?" Wendy muttered to herself, her nose twitching slightly as she stared at Gajeel, that on his side nodded.

"The one and only," he confirmed.

* * *

"You can let me go now," I grumbled where I sat on a couch within the guild, my legs firmly pressed against my body and hiding my face, HIS arm secured around my waist. Since when did he even do that?

"Nope," he simply replied, and I suppressed a groan.

"You know, this does explain a lot," oh yeah, opposite to us sat Gajeel, of all people, smirking most likely.

"Shut up." the pinkhaired boy replied, and I felt him tense. Whatever this was about, it was making him uncomfortable. Even if I had practically been wiped out as an existence I still felt obliged to do something to lighten the mood. That, and seriously, I had been wondering now when my mind wasn't fogged by sleep-deprived madness paranoia. I still felt paranoid, but it was getting better. Sort of. At least I saw less shadows now, though I still suspected them of being nearby, hiding while waiting for me to feel safe again.

"What date is it?" it was completely unrelated, and most people would just instictively know the date. Apparently being trapped in a place with no light, no clocks and no food, that I could remember, had done its job messing up my mental calendar. For all I knew, I could've been there for years, though I somehow doubted that. The Fairy Tail I remembered remained too young for it to have been that long.

"I don't know.. 10th?" Natsu replied. 10th. That would make it at least a month anniversary. Perhaps a year? The day I got... the day they asked me to leave this place. Also the day I got taken, though the details regardng that incident remained a mystery. One minute I were wandering aimlessly, the next... darkness. Shadows. Sessions. There was irony in this day, even if no one but me would remember why.

"But seriously, Salamander, I didn't know you had it in you," Gajeel continued relentlessly.

"What month?" I asked, tried ignoring the teasing guy that did whatever he could to make a fight. I knew the both of them liked to clash, but usually it would be Gray sitting there, taunting him. He however, was nowhere to be seen.

"November. You only slept for 3 days." it would seem the boy sitting next to me was showing some rare signs of restraint as well. I lifted my head to look at him. There it was, that odd gaze. A gaze that held some form of disbelief and a tinge of fear in them. Why fear? And there was something else there too, something I failed to grasp. Pain? What had happened during my absence?

"You're joking," I uttered before I could think.

"Why would I joke about dates? That would be stupid," he muttered, and then moved his gaze forward again. I followed it, locked eyes with Gajeel. He was indeed smirking, one of those I want to kick some ass smirks. Was he trying to intimidate me or something? It would take more than a look to scare me off. Attempting to touch me was at the moment a good start. It wasn't as bad now as when I arrived, but if I sorted my thoughts correctly that would be due to a long time without sleep. Now.. as long as I could see them, I could at least bear with it.

"You're not scared of me, are you?" the iron dragon slayer said after a while, throwing me slightly off guard. Why would I be? Sure, he had beat the crap out of me, and he was fully capable of doing it again if he wanted. Not like I culd defend myself at the moment. Instead of speaking I shook my head and returned to resting my head on my knees.

"Why would anyone be scared of you?" Natsu shot in, more like his old self, and I smiled into the fabric without moving. People were being weird.

"You want me to show you why, punk?" the other male challenged, and I felt the grip around my waist loosen as Natsu was abut to comply.

"You're on, scrapmetal!"

"Ashface!" and indeed it was on.

* * *

As the brawl escalated in its usual Fairy Tail manner the girl silently set her feet to the ground, staring at the fighting males as if in awe. Compared to the day of her arrival, she seemed much less frightened today, and once more she seemed more comfortable surrounded by the noise rather than by silence. Gray Fullbuster sat by the counter watching the dragon slayers fight, considering whether to join in or not. The former option was currently on the winning side as he started walking over there, somehow without his shirt and trousers all of a sudden when he noticed the girl sitting in the sofa in a rather odd position. As if ready to leap. In a mere second their eyes met, her gaze determined, and he realized what she was about to do just before she took off, running even faster now when her leg was mostly healed by Wendy.

The moment after a blur of pink hair emerged from the cloud of fighting. The girl barely made it out the door before being tackled to the ground once more.

* * *

Again. Damn.

"Let me go!"

"No."

"Why are you doing this? You don't even KNOW me," anymore, I wanted to say, but I held my tongue.

"Your mark says I do," he growled back, pinning me to the ground while looking frustrated to put it mildly. Well, he was kind of right. That pink insignia on my hand classified me as family in is head, the cat was out of the bag regarding my affiliation with Fairy Tail. Accrording to that little mark I were officially family he currently didn't know, but family none the less. What confused the heck out of me was his way of handling this. I remembered how he had acted right after I joined the guild. He had acted cold until I proved myself worthy of his acknowledgement. This time, he insisted on keeping me close. He hadn't let me alone since I arrived, not after hearing my name. Did he possibly remember something? Why WAS he doing this?

"My guildmark tells you we've met. Doesn't mean you KNOW m.." he bowed forward, still pinning me down, his hands keeping my hands still as he kissed me. I don't think I've ever been this flabberasted in my entire life. In the background I heard the guild go into a complete silence, several people dropping whatever they had been holding.

"I..." I muttered as he finally got off me, red and clearly not fully aware of what he just did. I felt.. I felt...

"I am going to fucking KILL YOU!" I felt.. violated. Used. Positively PISSED OFF!

"YOU.. YOU IMBECILE. JERK! YOU HAVE A FUCKING GIRLFRIEND YOU DIMWIT, SO WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR?!" I saw the boy in front of me shrink in fear before me as I jabbed him with a finger, blinking as confusion took over his features.

"I what?" he managed to sputter as I breathed heavily, preparing for another verbal assault. I blinked. Now when he mentioned it, where was... Oh... No. But it explained everything. His lack of sleep. His rage that day. But she couldn't be... Not Lisanna. No.

"I need to go." my fury was doused almost instantly. If this was what I thought it was... I needed to get out. I needed to get away now, before someone stumbled upon the truth. They absolutely did NOT need to feel that despicable hatred I suddenly felt toward myself. I had caused him to lose his precious nakama.. again. No wonder he had looked at me with those enraged eyes, screaming for me to GET OUT while both Erza and Gray did their best to restrain him. The eyes I always had been afraid would one day be directed at me. All eyes in the guild had had that similar gleam. Eyes that told me to leave. That asked me how I DARED to do what I had done.

"O..OI! You're not going anywhe.." I sent him my worst killer glare, one that once more showed its efficiency as he hesitated to approach me any further. At the moment he stood barely out of reach. Had I really caused a death within this place? Had my rash behaviour really hurt my friends in such a manner? It had to be a misunderstanding.. right?

"Where is Lisanna?" I studied his reaction as he heard the name, the sudden uncomfortable waves coming off him as he broke the eye contact.

"She's okay, right?" I barely uttered the words. No. Please. Suddenly his eyes met mine again.

"How do you know about her?" the question caught me off guard, as did his somewhat accusive tone. Well, the cat WAS out of the bag. I lifted my hand hesitantly to show off my insignia, looked sideways.

"Pretty hard not to."

"So you know who you are?"

"How else would I know my name, dimwit, you think Gildarts told me?" there was silence after my statement, and I snuck a glance at my former best friend. He didn't have the scary eyes. Not yet.

"So.. are you trying to say that you already know that you're part of this guild?" Gray entered, looking at me steadily. I felt sort of relieved being able to look at someone other that Natsu.

"No.." I mumbled, hugging myself in preparation for what I was about to say next.

"..I know I USED to be part of this guild. I got kicked out." then came the whispering. The shocked beings staring. I lifted my gaze again, stared at the ceiling. So the secret was out. They still didn't know why I got kicked out, and even for me the details were mostly theories. The worst nightmare, perhaps other than seeing my friends perish, and the gods knew I had seen that too often in my dreams. Before I got taken. Those dreams had stopped when they took me, or at least I assumed that to be the case. Other dreams were more usual. The pain was more centered around me rather than these people.

"LUCY!" I jumped and looked at Natsu. He had tried making contact for a while. I blinked a few times, realizing my eyes were filled to the brim with tears.

"What?!" Oh, and my voice was shaking.

"Who kicked you out?"

"Why is that important?"

"WHO." he growled again. What the hell was this? I felt a tear strak down my face. Then another one.

"You did." okay, enough mingling. I used the shock I had just caused him to gain momentum as I made a run for it once more. They're going to take my guildmark. They're going to erase my sole reminder from the days I existed. It was hard seeing anything through the blur of tears, but not seeing wasn't new. I had done this before, and I knew how to handle this. Then again, exactly how many walls had I crashed into during my attempts to escape? True enough, the moment after that thought occured to me, I hit something very solid while running full speed through the streets of Magnolia, still wearing nothing but that shirt Gildarts had given me after we had escaped the hellhole I had given the name Fear.

***Will it be long until next chapter comes out? I think it will be. Will there BE a next one? Most likely. Right now it seems that way. If you want to, it would be real nice if you reviewed. Oh well, on to the next one! I shall prevail!***


	20. Chapter 20

***Someone asked me a lot of questions, telling me they're confused. Well, congratulations, that would be the POINT. When things finally makes sense, that would probably be the END of this story, as I already mentioned a few chapters back. Better yet, I could've PM-ed that very person and given a fucking polite answer, but NOOO, he or she is anonymous. Congratulations, you just pissed me off. I can take bad reviews, but usually I can start a conversation with that person, rather than feel like some random passerby just throws shit in my face before continuing on with his or her life.

FINE. DONE. My tempestuous rant is over, and I shall bear anger no more. Here's the next chapter, all ready for my dearest readers, perhaps even early? Am I a nice person or what? I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters nor its storyline***

I woke up once more to see the ceiling at the infirmary, and felt the urge yet again to make a run for it.

"Calm down..." I flinched and looked sideways where Natsu sat on a chair, his hand entwined with mine. So I didn't get away. How come I never got away? I then also noticed Gajeel sitting in front of the door that would've been my escape.

"Bunnygirl.." that nickname again.

"..mind telling us what's going on, since YOU apparently is the only one that knows?" Gajeel sent me a long look, a mix between tiredness and perhaps some annoyance.

"You said I kicked you out of the guild..." the pinkhaired boy said, implicated me to go from there.

"Yes." I recalled the screaming once more, the fear. *GET OUT!*. Then I remembered the reason behind it. Lisanna...

"Why would I do that?" he asked, and I swallowed, tried freeing my hand. He didn't let go, grimaced slightly. If I told him, he would have those eyes. The hateful eyes. The resentful eyes. I would rather run. I had been running for a long time, continuing wouldn't be too hard.

"No." come on, let me go. The boy groaned, and looked so.. frustrated. Why? What did he want with me, someone he regarded a stranger? I couldn't refuse him, could I? Not with that piercing look, that pleading pout.

"Lisanna. It's my fault. I didn't mean to do it, I weren't thinking straight. I'm so sorry, I should've told you or refused or said no or.." I looked away when I felt a hand force my face up to look at the boy.

"What the hell are you talking about?"

"Lisanna got hurt because of me. I know you didn't want to go through that again, yet..." I made you relive your worst nightmare. That I had to live through one of mine seemed only fair. I felt tears slowly building up in my eyes while I kept eye contact with Natsu waiting for the eyes to emerge. They didn't.

"Lisanna is on a mission, Bunnygirl. She checked in yesterday and earlier today through a lacrima ball. She's completely fine." I felt HIM let go of my face as I quickly glanced at the man sitting by the door as he spoke before my attention went back to the person I now needed to question even more so now.

"Then.. then what was that LOOK?" I felt myself shaking as I asked. That look of hurt and the aura that told me Natsu didn't want to talk about it. As if Lisanna was.. gone.

"Not important. Point is, she's fine, so why do you believe I kicked you out of Fairy Tail?" I turned to the boy as he talked again, staring at him. If Lisanna wasn't the reason, then...

"I don't know. I don't remember. The only thing I know is that you hated me. You were screaming so loudly, yelling at me to get out, leave... Erza and Gray had to hold you back, or.. or I don't know what you would've done. I didn't mean to come back, I really didn't, things just happe.."

"When was this?"

"10th of July. I'm so sorry, I really..."

"That.. wasn't you." he muttered, and I stopped apologizing. What? What was he on about now? What did he mean, wasn't me? Of course it was me.

"How can it NOT be me? I remember it, even if you don't!" my voice was shaking, and I finally managed to rip my arm away. I didn't move to escape at the moment though, since things became even more confusing by the second. I wanted

"I remember that day, only I weren't screaming at you... I were screaming at Lisanna. We haven't really been talking since that." for the frst time he looked away, sighing loudly. Since when did the boy EVER hold a grudge for more than ONE day before groveling for forgiveness?

"Natsu didn't kick you out of the guild." Gajeel commented, and I sent him a stern look.

"Just telling you the truth, Bunnygirl, nothing else. One, you still bear the Fairy Tail insignia.."

"I didn't get around to remo.."

"Let me finish. Two, no sane person would willingly put himelf through hell like that, even if he DID resent you at some point, which I doubt, since it would've faded by now if he did. Whatever magic made the rest of us forget you, THAT would keep Flamebreath over there from doing the same," Gajeel finished, and for once he seemed serious rather that his usual show of nonchalance. I blinked while trying to process what the iron dragon slayer was saying. A lot of it didn't make sense. The last part though...

"What are you talking about, no one remembers! I heard him loud and clear, he had never even seen me before Gildarts brought me in."

"Oh, he might not recall you face, but he remembers your name, something everyone in the guild are aware of. I'm pretty sure your scent rings a bell as well, am I right Flamebreath?"

"Shut up, Scrapmetal." he sent a glare towards his fellow dragon slayer and then looked at me hesitantly, grimacing slightly as if about to do something he didn't want to.

"He's right, this ONCE... Stop smirking!" he sighed and turned to me again.

"This is hard..." he muttered.

"Why are you doing this?" I asked again. Hadn't I asked something similar before? Why was he caring so much. Not that I normally would mind, it felt good to have the illusion of things to be.. I don't know, normal. The thing was though, there had to be a reason. False hope could be as destructive as the lack of hope.

"Because of your mark." he said all of a sudden, quick as if to get it over with.

"What do you mean? My guildmark wouldn't make you.."

"Not THAT mark, Bunnygirl," Gajeel interrupted. Not THAT mark? What the hell did he mean by...

* * *

(FLASHBACK)

It was one of the boring days, a cloudy day about a week into my selfinflicted month of solitude. Not complete solitude, of course, the rest of the guild was here to keep me companied, but at night... it was kind of hard. I never handled sleep-deprivation very well, so I did sleep every night, but woke up screaming at several occasions, alerting a very worried Loke each time. He had started showing up frequently now, checking my sanity I suspected. It might actually need a check-up.. that would be the worst part. Three weeks to go, and Team Natsu would be back... I would manage, right?

As I entered the guild, my only warning would be a spot of blue in the periphery of my vision before I unexpectedly got dragged off by none other than Levy McGarden.

"Hey, what.. Levy, what do you want?!" I protested while being dragged off into the guild library.

"Come on, Lu-chan, I found something REALLY interesting in this old book, something I think you should see!" she could hardly contain her eagerness, and I had to smile. Fine, it might be interesting. Not like I had anything better to do on this gray day anyways...

I looked up from the dusty book, eyeing my female friend.

"This is about dragons and... marking?" and indeed it was. According to this book, Dragons had something referred to as mates. Much like wolves, they would stay fateful to this mate for life, or at least until it died. It also implied that a dragon would keep being fateful even after the demise of their destined one, with a few exceptions. Upon finding a potential mate for life, there was something referred to as Marking. There was more than one stage, but they all involved some kind of weird ancient magic. First stage, a simple bite that broke the skin would weaken the bittens magic and make the biter immune to the element. The biter would become very protective and possessive, ancient instinct making him take over the role as the protector since the potential mate now had lessened power. Second stage, an exchange of.. what? I guessed what the book was describing would be something similar to a kiss. Kissing dragons, what an odd sight that would be. This stage would neutralize the bittens magic all together. There was a third stage as well, a final stage that would make the Mark all but permanent, and return the bittens magic power. First stage would last maybe a week on its own, second stage for a while longer, varying from drragon to dragon. This was interesting, I guess, reading such interesting things about such majestic creatures, but...

"Levy, why were you so interested in showing ME this?" I dared her to go on, tell me what she was implying. The smile she cracked told me she accepted the challenge.

"It's interesting though, isn't it? Do you think Gajeel and Natsu have some similar.. traditions?" she blushed slightly, and my eyes narrowed.

"Who knows.. has Gajeel attempted to bite you recently?" I already knew that smething might be potentially going on there, seeing that red tint on her cheeks. The fact that the clour deepened while she shook her head.

"You want him to?" I continued.

"Lucy! I would be more worried about you, you know, seeing how up close and personal Natsu is with you!" AND, there it was. I groaned, hit my head on the table and left it laying there.

"Not you too! The gods know Mira have tried to set us up, but honestly... she also tried setting me up with Gray, Loke, Elfman, Fried, Laxus AND some random guy that came in the other day."

"Really?"

"What can I say, she's a busy woman..."

"I mean, why would she try setting you up with those guys, you and Natsu are OBVIOUSLY made for each other!" she squealed, and I found myself blushing like usual when my imagination took off. Damn that imagination, I had no need of mental images of small pinkhaired brats running about...

"Seriously? This is NATSU we're talking about, you know... I don't think he even KNOWS how to KISS a girl, and frankly I don't think he could care less, and would people PLEASE stop announcing us as a couple?! We're partners, for crying out loud!"

(FLASHBACK END)

* * *

"You didn't..." I muttered darkly, my aura darkening along with my words. When he just stared at me, I groaned, hit him in the back of the head. No wonder the spell, whatever it was, didn't work properly.

"Fucking moron!" I yelled.

"OW, what was THAT for?" he had the balls to reply, and I almost hit him again.

"REALLY? You fucking MARKED me? And it never occured to you, I don't know.. to MENTION that to me?" I fumed without taking his current memoryloss into consideration. So Dragon Slayers DID have that trait, though obviously a tad refined. For example, I didn't master an element, and my magic obviously weren't nullified, though certain circumstances did make that almost the case. Like the fact that most of my spirits had been having time off when I headed for the mission regarding Dark Shadows. I had Cancer on hold in case of an emergency, but I already had volunteered mostly as bait. If things had gone differently on that mission, I would've been mostly dependent on my whip. My spirits... I had tried to avoid thinking about them. I didn't know the whereabuts of them, and for all I knew they would be as unaware of my existence as this lot. Minus Natsu, apparently. I should've figured he somehow would've found a way to beat the system.

"So, how much do you know?" I asked after calming myself with a few deep breaths. There was no need to kill him off, YET. I did realize that the second stage of my marking, if the book I had read was anything to go by, had been initiated without him being conscious about it. The FIRST stage though... that really did explain his odd behaviour, the very behaviour I had blamed on his abandonment issues. Before the fire dragon slayer got to the answer though, someone banged on the door.

"Yo, FLAMEBRAIN! You better not be doing anything lewd in there!" Grays muffled voice sounded from the other side of the door.

"GEE HEE, why do you think I'm sitting here? That, and to keep Bunnygirl from bouncing off on those nice pair of legs she got on her," he raised his brows suggestively at me as he mentioned my legs, and I felt Natsu grabbing my arm again. Wow...

"What d'ya want, icicle-boy?" he continued after obviously achieving his goal.

"She awake yet?"

"Yep."

"Master has a few questions for her, then. Open the door!"

***BWAHAHAHA, remember the good old days when I would update daily? Well, they're not exactly back, but since I were on a roll I thougt I might as well release this beauty now when I finished it, explaining SOME of the very confusing aspects of my story. Hope you liked it, and hopefully I'll get going with next chapter soon. Funnily, this is procrastnation since I still don't know which ne to choose between the current 4 versions of Forgotten chapter 15, or whether I should write a new one.

Jeez, am I nice or what, releasing two chapters so close after each other! ;)***


	21. Chapter 21

***Hello there, long time no see. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. On to the randomness!***

You are important, boy, more important than you know. Her mind should be shattered, broken and without any hope of ever being rebuilt, yet she stood up on her own two feet again after being so thoroughly beaten to the ground mentally. She survived the mental abuse that once more was put on her, her endurance because of a guild that pops up in her mind time and time again. What is Fairy Tail to bring such strength to a single human being? What have YOU done in order to heal her from the wounds that once made the girl terrified of the world. A girl that trusted all yet no one. Now.. she is different. At least she was, until.. the incident.

You now face a different person than what you know. A broken soul. A being that has been to the pits of hell, a pit she has visited before. I need you to fix it. I need you to remember. I need you to recall what you were to her, and what she truly was to you.

This might hurt a little, boy, but bear with it.

* * *

I remember a person being flung through a wall, crashing into the room we are sitting, I, Lisanna and... someone else? I remember grinning, yelling something like usual as I start the fight. I remember my fists catching fire, and how it fires me up. I remember punching. This is an enemy after all, since the one that first made him fly would be Erza. Something about a cake, by the sounds of it. I feel sorry for the guy, kind of, but it doesn't make me stop fighting. 'Cause that would be dumb. And boring. Fighting gets my mind off all problems that can't be solved by fighting anyways. Lisanna is off somewhere too, I don't know where, but she can take care of herself. She can manage. A scream. I remember hearing that scream, a female one, belonging to.. someone. Someone I know. I remember following the sound, seeing a boy dressed in black holding up a.. girl... The girl is screaming as if in pain. Then I remember nothing else, only his silver eyes and my thoughts about beating the crap out of him for touching her.

A train. A wrecked train. I think I'm going to hurl, and I NEVER want to enter one of these evil things ever again. I remember something lying next to me. Wait. Not something. SomeONE. I sense blonde hair, though I keep my eyes closed to keep from seeing.. movements. On second thoughts, I think I NEED to hurl. Oh by the hells.. okay, false alarm. My thumb is stroking something, something soft, and I hear soft breathing and something resting against me. She's still sleeping, even after... Even after whatever happened back in the town. I don't remember what it was called, but.. it doesn't matter. What matters is the girl next to me. She's sick. I remember thinking of ways to confront her. I don't like thinking but.. she likes thinking. And she is a bad liar. Lisanna is talking about something. She has a plan. Always plans.

"Time is up," I remember the voice, and I instantly open my eyes to see that very same silver. I remember hangling between puking and beating the crap out of him when he disappears. The girl next to me disappears with him. Pain. I need to.. I need to get her. She's not here. The PAIN. Fuck. My head is exploding. I'm going to KILL him. If he's not here, then... Out of this cursed thing. Window. Falling. Pain. Must get...

I remember standing in the middle of the guild. I remember the girl that looks straight at me, and my own words. I haven't seen her before. I remember feeling that those words aren't true. I remember her eyes giving up that little ounce of hope, and something churns within me. Guilt? Who.. her name. Gildarts told me her name. Her name.. no. That can't be right. She... Suddenly I find myself assaulted by mental images of that same girl. A smiling blonde girl sitting next to me, laughing. A pissed off blonde girl beating the crap out of me for breaking into her house while being at least as scary as Erza. A girl falling from a tower while screaming my name...

Then it all changes, I can see her, a girl in a dark room, sitting in a corner while hiding her face behind her knees. Then a boy enters, a boy I have seen before, his silver eyes lighting up the area. Who is he?

"Am I going to die here?" she asks, and I feel myself getting angry. What kind of stupid question is that?! She isn't going anywhere!

"Most likely," the boy answers, and then, all of a sudden he lifts his eyes and stares right at me.

"A person that no one remembers is as good as none existent anyways," after those words I am sucked into a dark abyss, the corner with HER quickly fading into the distance.

* * *

"LUCY!"

* * *

I couldn't sleep. Sleeping might turn everything back, and as it was I could live with the reality as it was now. Much less.. hostile. Thus, since I suspected my former home to be long gone by now, and since I found myself in no mood to share accommodations with a certain pinkhaired idiot, yes he had indeed offered AGAIN, I found myself in the infirmary at the guild, slowly losing the battle to that ever damned sleep while waiting for the sun to rise over Magnolia. It was beautiful, the sun. I would very much like to see it before falling asleep. Then they would be here as well, my guild mates. When the silence ended I might sleep better.

FLASHBACK

"Lucy..." Master walked into the room with a solemn look upon his features, making him seem much older than usual. He was an old man, Master, how old I didn't know, but passed eighty as it turned out during the Laxus incident that seemingly happened three lifetimes ago.

"I have discussed this with both Porlyusca and Gildarts already, and now only need to hear it from you. Were you a subject of torture, my child?" the question was somewhat unexpected, unless perhaps... he knew something? I was tempted to tell him about the things.. I remembered many things, yet... the torture wasn't real. It never was real.

"They hardly touched me," I whispered instead. These people. The people I gladly would give my life for even now, didn't need to know. They had no need of sleepless nights due to guilt over me, a person that should be dead. If it wasn't for Gildarts I would've given myself what, one more week?

"I call bullshit on that one, Bunnygirl," I heard from the door where Gajeel still lingered. Other than him Gray and Erza also stood in the room. And Master and Natsu of course. Mira stood in the opening looking worried, like a mother. She was the only one to remain somewhat the same.. as before. Before everything. How strange that I once upon a time had found myself jealous of her sweet sister. Being slightly set aside for a short time when she came back from the bed was infinitely better than not existing. It hurt.

"I know this is difficult, but I need to know what exactly the culprits did in order to decide what to do with them," punishment was written all over his face, even with that minor detail of him not possibly being able to recall my very existence.

"The people that held me captive didn't visit me, nor feed me or give me water. The door to the the room was always unlocked, and they didn't bind me. I only remember being visited a few times. The last time.. the last time I got visited before Gildarts came down to the tunnel, the boy... he didn't touch me either," he merely told me I most likely would die in that place.

"Didn't feed you? At all?"

FLASHBACK END

Well, that ended in a long discussion, where I amongst other things admitted to the fact that I should be dead, which made a lot of people upset. Should I feel happy that they felt so agitated over my stay in Fear? Somehow, I did, even if it might be wrong. The world was infinitely large if I remained the only one to know who Lucy Heartfilia used to be.

"Hoy, Flamebrain, she needs her rest, 'kay?" I heard from the other side of the door I currently was sitting next to, the one that would've been my escape had it not been for the one sitting on the other side of it, also waiting for the sun to rise so he could catch up on some much needed sleep. Yes, I had already checked earlier tonight, only to have Gray Fullbuster greet me, sitting by the door like I was now. What Flamebrain, a.k.a. Natsu was doing here this late however... A mystery, though then again the boy was a walking mystery.

"No time to play, Icicles, so scram," the moment after the door flung open and I looked up to see one Dragonslayer staring at me with somewhat surprised eyes.

"Hi." did I mention that I somehow didn't fear getting close to this particular idiot? Mayhap due to the fact that he was safe. He never got himself involved in the darker moments of my personal dark age. He appeared in other dreams instead, merely hanging out at my cell, keeping the shadows at bay and nagging constantly about dragons. Where are the dragons? Why aren't they here? Are you afraid of dragons? So random really, that he had made me smile sometimes.

"Lucy," he said, and then he was down on my level, hugging me. Strange boy, random boy. I felt him shaking, and couldn't help wondering whether or not he had had a bad dream or something. He rarely had those, though I knew they weren't unheard of.

"If you think this will make everything okay, the think aga..."

"You jumped from a tower once, didn't you, getting away from Phantom Lord,"

"Yes, but how do you.."

"You also were there when I wrecked Hargeon that time when I thought Salamander was Igneel,"

"Yes."

"And that time when we went to Mt. Hakobe to rescue Macao from a Vulcan,"

"Yeah, but..."

"You are a part of Team Natsu."

"I USED to be a part.."

"Well, I don't remember you ever saying you quit..." his voice was stubborn, the kind of voice that encouraged me to just go with it.

"But I remember everything else, up to the point where some boy with silver eyes took you while we were on a train heading back to Magnolia," he added, and finally let go of me just to squat there in front of me. It was kind of dark, but I saw no lies in his eyes, nor in his voice. He.. remembered. Everything. How could that be?

"You're lying," I whispered, though I already knew he wasn't. At least he didn't believe himself to be. With a smirk he leaned closer, whispered something in my ear. I felt myself getting bright red.

"Why YOU..." I got up and started chasing him around the room while yelling profanities towards a dolt that most certainly remembered all. From the side of my vision I spotted Gray standing by the door watching, his eyes still conflicted. The guy I at the moment would kill if I caught him might remember, but the black-haired ice mage did not. Will things really be anything like they were? Will I ever be trusted, and will I ever trust anyone? I might give my life, my everything to the guild that is everything.. but I don't trust it to be able to withstand... I don't want to. They have suffered enough, and the pain. The pain belongs to me. It is my Pain. Like that world I named. Pain, Hell, whatever it is called. It might not be real, but it is real enough for me to have tasted it. Felt it.

Even as I chased Natsu Dragneel, my former partner, around the room like I used to so long ago.. I felt alone, as if I still remained in Fear. A little girl sitting in a corner, simply waiting for it all to end.

* * *

I know your memories, even the ones you no longer believe yourself to possess. Thus I know the people you know in a way. You are petrified as my visage appears for you and only you, since you are the only one to lay eyes on me, just like things were and always will be. Silver is the colour that fills your mind, mixed with stubbornness, courage and a great deal of terror, though not on your own behalf.. I like that about you, the will you possess even with a mental mind that is all but broken to the ground, or at least should have been had it not been for the one steady rock keeping you somewhat sane. The rock that is branded with a sign that also brands your right hand. I see your mind darting towards a person that have appeared in your dreams every now and then when The Being have been busy with other matters. I have used this person in order to attempt keeping your courage up, and so far you have indeed shown a lingering sense of strength that none of the others have possessed. If it is your personality or the persons encouragement that can be thanked for this I still cannot confirm.

Natsu Drageel, you do not know your importance in his scheme, a plan that might fix a broken mind that seemed all but unmendable at the time it got broken for the first time. I have made you the chosen one due to your unpleasant actions, since I no longer will be able to keep mending the hole created all those years ago. I leave it to you to fix a broken soul hat once saved me. As things are, you are my best bet, though the following occurences might've brought her beyond the brink of no return. You should know better than most the strength residing within her, you merely need to remember. Thus, I hope you will be able to continue my patchwork, healing her like you also once did without even trying.

***Number 1. Yes, this is the first chapter to be finished after my return. It is one of those "what the hell?!" chapters, but fair enough, it worked out. For all you people out there thinking "Well this is confusing...", well, it's supposed to be. I shall explain it in time. I think. Perhaps.

You know,recently I got a P.M. from someone urging me to continue my story. If you already made yourself known through a review, then sorry for not recognizing you, but... I don't technically know what story you were urging me to continue. As of right now, I am working on all three, so whichever story you meant it will (hopefully) be out soon. If you are reading this, then I guess I got it right on the first try.

Until next time, matta ne! :)***


	22. Chapter 22

***And yes, here we are, at the point where I feel somewhat forced to explain certain things. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Hope you like it, 'cause you sure did demand some kind of explanation to who the hell silver eyes is. Even if you don't like it, too bad. I'm in a bad mood right now, so bear with my crass statements, such is the world. We all have our shitty days, after all. On to the story!***

Once upon a time there was a mansion belonging to a wealthy family. Their last name would be Heartfilia. The family consisted of three people. There was Jude Heartfilia, a man that had common blood running through his veins, but that had worked up his fortune in order to give his wife the life she had grown accustomed to. His wife would be Layla Heartfilia, a sickly lady from an old noble line, her parents somewhat disagreeing to her choice of husband. Commoners shouldn't mix with nobility after all according to the old customs of this world. Marrying out of love rather than political advantages. What a shame. Thusly, Layla had little contact with any of her family, and she would gain nothing of her intended heritage.

Together the two of them got a child they named Lucy Heartfilia. Lucky Lucy, born into wealth, never knowing anything called poverty, hunger or sadness. Or so the commoners believed. She was an angel, that child, always smiling and laughing, bringing sunshine with her as she went. Her laughter was as contagious as her smile, and the servants living about loved her dearly, as did the villagers in the nearby village. The villagers there were regarded as commoners, but were slowly rising in social status, reaching for the status of nobility, albeit somewhat far away still.

Now, Jude Heartfilia felt guilty due to the disagreements caused by his common birth, so he worked hard to get acknowledged by his parents-in-law. He even built a school in the middle of the village, and hired a teacher renowned for his efficiency when it came to the education of young nobility. Thus, as the villagers reached their intended goal their children would be taught in the way of acting according to their social status. Little Lucy attended the same school, being taught by Dr. Alma, accompanied by his son, young Argyros, named due to his peculiar eyes. He was a silent child, merely standing in the corner when his father held his lessons.

* * *

He sat in the grass by himself, staring emptily ahead when the little girl approached him, a little thing with blonde hair and large, brown orbs for eyes.

"What's your name?" she asked him in her childish voice, and his eyes moved to study the little one. She was a few years younger than him to say the least. Five years of age, perhaps, when he himself already had lived for more than a decade.

"Argyros." he answered, didn't bother with any formalities. To be honest he despised his name. What a dull name to have, Argyros, meaning Silver. What a lack of inspiration his father had to merely find an ancient tongue to name him. Oh well, Alma wasn't exactly the best name in the world either. Silver Soul his name was. His fathers first name remained a mystery.

"That's a nice name, Ar.. Argo.. Aggo! I'll call you Aggo, 'kay?"

"Sure. You're Lucy, right? Why aren't you playing with the other kids?" kids your age. He didn't utter the words, but really. She was a kid. So was he, but he was older than her. He had no time for mindless games with a five year old.

"They don't like me since my blood is dirty," the little girl replied, still cheery, but with a small edge to her voice. Dirty blood? Argyros wanted to be a doctor, so he knew a thing or two about blood. Dirty blood, huh?

"Isn't it YOUR dad that made it so they could go to this school? They might call themselves old nobility, but they have no money to speak of, so they shouldn't go off accusing you of shit," he replied drily, not really caring that the child most likely didn't even understand the term dirty blood. Yes, his father was originally a commoner. He still got more things accomplished than the fathers of most children present. Blood accomplished nothing. People did.

"You seem sad, Aggo, what's wrong?" the little girl sat down next to the boy, and despite her age managed to bear a serious expression.

"It's okay, you can tell me," she continued. the girl fascinated him, and indeed, he did feel sort of bothered.

"I can't. Sorry." he really couldn't tell this girl that he knew. He knew his father was up to something again. Something that had forced them to move last time. Something involving someone in this class. He didn't know who yet, since all the children kept acting normal, but soon. Soon someone would start reacting to whatever his father was doing. That dreaded family secret. The secret that could kill, and kill again. The girl eyed him for a moment, then got up. She would leave too, huh. It would be for the best. He didn't enjoy company anywa..

"Come on, let's go to the swing!" the little girl dragged him along with a strength he didn't know such a little being could possess. He didn't even get the time to protest, merely tagged along. Fine. He guessed he could entertain this little girl for a while. Wasn't like he had anything better to do. Wasn't like he had anyone else to hang out with.

* * *

It was happening, slowly. Where he stood in the corner he could see it in their faces. The sleep-deprived eyes. The pale faces. That look of slight fear. His father was doing it again. Had been doing it for quite some time too. This was summer camp. He was 16 years of age now, still named Argyros, Aggo for short, though the ten year old girl, Luce, probably would manage to pronounce his name by now. She was one of the victims to be, even though she was indeed putting up a brave face.

"Come on, Aggo! Quit spacing out, I have something to show you!" she grabbed his hand and forcefully dragged him out of the room, still possessing that immense strength he never really got where she got it from. When had class ended? Had he really been that out of it?

She dragged him out of the school building, through the streets of the little town, quiet now since things had started happening already, and into the forest.

"By the gods, Luce, where are you taking me?!"

"Almost there!" she replied without answering his question, kept dragging him. Then, as they rounded a tree, he saw it. A small pond, filled to the brim with flowers in full bloom, lotus if he wasn't completely mistaken, white with pink on the tips. The sun was just above their heads, shining down and creating some sort of paradise with all the surrounding flowers by the waterside as well. It was, Aggo had to admit, somewhat idyllic.

"Isn't it pretty?" Lucy said, her eyes twinkling and her smile so contagious that the poor guy couldn't help but smirk helplessly himself just being near the walking happy-bomb.

"Luce, you do realize I'm a boy, right? These things doesn't really appeal to.. OOFH!" she hit him then, quickly ending his halfassed attempt to remain neutral and boyish. Fine. It was beautiful. He surrendered and sat down next to his friend, looking at the landscape for a bit before returning his attention to the issue at hand. She was hiding it well, Lucy. Those dark rings around her eyes. That slightly paler than normal skin. She was a victim herself.

"Luce?" he said her nickname tryingly, not quite certain how to get onto the topic. He needed to hear it from her. He needed to have her say it.

"Hm..?" she replied airily, still looking at the glistening water and the buttload of flowers blooming on the pond. She always was fond of pink things, cute things and pretty things. Very girly, though not as girly as some of the other girls in her class. She didn't mind sitting down in the grass for instance. Or run around in the forest. Or rip the bottom of her dresses off in order to run around playing hide and seek.

"Have you had any.. strange nightmares lately?" there, he had uttered the question. Now, to get the girl to answer truthfully.

"I have," she replied without looking away from the pond, her eyes still sparkling. Well, that was easy.

"Like being trapped in some world for several hours, sometimes days... seeing things?" might as well take advantage of her present loose tongue before she decided to lock her secret in again. She might be one terrible liar, but she had her secrets. Secrets she refused to share with anyone.

"Yeah. Two places, Fear and Pain. Fear is a dark place, a place where I'm always scared. Pain is the place where people bleed a lot. They're only dreams though. Why, are you having nightmares too? Are you alright?" she turned to him, but a small, pale hand on his forehead, making the boy blush. How did she do that? How did she manage to talk about something so horrible happening to her, then suddenly worry about HIM? And wait, she NAMED those places?! Pretty accurately too. Fear and Pain...

"No, I'm fine. Are you sure YOU'RE alright?" he managed to move away from her hand. She clearly wasn't convinced, but respected his need to keep his secrets. He had many of those, after all.

"Sure. Makes it a bit hard to sleep at times, and it makes time feel REALLY slow, especially in Pain. Mama says that time moves slower in the dreamworld though, and even slower the deeper into the dreams you are. But they're just dreams, Aggo. Nothing to worry about. Dreams end, and everything scary or painful ends with them." she blinked with those naive eyes of hers, and the boy had to blink himself. This girl. She's so... strong. He had seen some of the things in those dreams, felt some of the strain put on him. His father was a monster, slowly devouring all mental ability from his victims. He had to be stopped before his Lucy suffered the same fate. Before she ended up being an empty shell like all the others before her. Before his father made her.. end herself. Aggo wanted the only friend he had ever had to smile that contagious smile of hers. Laugh that contagious laughter. He wanted her to live. For the others... It was already too late for them. They could no longer be saved, merely spared from any more suffering.

* * *

Red. So much red. The classroom was soaked in it, the bodies of several children laying about. They hadn't even put up a fight. They had been sitting there, staring while their classmates got slaughtered. Indeed, saving them had been too late. One girl though. She had tried SO hard stopping him, fighting against the mental grasp he had put on her to keep her from moving. For she couldn't be moved. If she tried fighting him, he might hurt her. Lucy. She was not to be harmed.

As he finished his gory task, however, his father came upon him. Even though the boy was skilled like no other his age with a sword, his father still had the upper hand. The process was quick, and soon he lay there, his silver eyes slowly losing its light as he bled out together with the rest.

"I need you to smile, Lucy. Smile." he whispered, while slowly, without his father knowing, attaching his soul to the katana in his hand. The girl merely sat there, tears streaming down her face, watching Aggo die without his father doing a thing to aid him.

"I will be back, child, one day. Of course, due to my idiot son I must flee for the moment, but I will be back. You are not free, little Lucy, you can thank him for that since he couldn't kill you like the rest of them," and with that, Dr. Alma made his escape with trampling, annoyed steps, his grey mustache hiding his smirk as he went on.

* * *

It was summer, and it was summer camp. It was the second day after the unfortunate events that a man came upon the now smelling bodies when he came to spend some time with his eight year old son. And there was little Lucy, holding onto the corpse of a teenage boy, long beyond begging him to get up, but still not quite at the point where she willingly would let go of him. Later that week she overheard the doctors talking of her mothers imminent death.

* * *

Once upon a time there was a girl that within a week lost everything, her friends, her mother, and soon all memory of her own existence. Her father, lost in grief, could do little to console her, so the staff took it upon them to watch over a ten year old that no longer remembered how to dress, how to eat, and that no longer understood the meaning of Mother. The only thing she seemingly held on to for years to come would be a katana, an old heirloom that most certainly didn't belong to the Heartfilia family, though it still earned its place on the wall in Lucys bedroom. The town that had prospered on Heartfilia land soon became a ghosttown. No one wanted to live in that cursed place where all children under the age of seventeen perished in a single day, except one.

***AND.. DONE. If the whole story is done, well.. I bloody well hope not, but at least we got ourselves some background, did we not? Now, Perhaps some of you still remains confused, and if so... SIGH.. please do tell me what EXACTLY you don't understand at all, and I will CONSIDER giving you all an explanation. If I'm in the mood, that is. Until then, see you all soon...***


	23. Chapter 23

***Okay, folks, time to drag this sucker out of the gutter. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. I's been a while, as you might or might not be aware of, but once more, here I am, serving you another chapter belonging to the story named Realization. It took me some time to muster this all together, but better late than never, right?***

Sleeping. I liked sleeping. Sure, I didn't use to like sleeping. In fact, I used to HATE sleeping. I had my reasons too, since sleeping usually resulted in dreams, and not the type involving rainbows and unicorns. Since I came back to the guild though, I had gotten good sleep. Nice sleep. Glorious sleep. At least when I slept behind the bar, surrounded by the noise of the guild bustling about. I slept nicely to the sound of flying objects, fighting people and people boasting about being a man. Okay, only Elfman boasted about being a man, but he made enough sound for many.

"Lucy?" I opened my eyes with a start, moved my legs towards my body in reaction to the sudden presence of Mirajane Strauss. She moved around silently, that woman, and now stood squatting in front of me with a plate of chips. My gaze softened after the shock subsided. Good sleep had that effect on me after all, good sleep where I didn't have to run, and where blood weren't running from the wall, sometimes literally in the place that was.

"Mira. What's up?" I asked, and she handed me the plate.

"You got to be hungry. How are you feeling?" she asked, smiled that nice smile of hers. I put a french fry in my mouth, chewed silently.

"I'm good. It's been ages since I've heard this much.. liveliness." I smiled, and I saw Mira flinch slightly, going back to normal when my smile faltered.

"Something wrong?" I cocked my head to the side.

"Ah, no. Enjoy the meal, Lucy, and don't hesitate to ask me if you need anything, 'kay?" she got up, and continued going about with her daily activities. Strange.

* * *

"LUCY?" a loud voice rang through the guildhall, and I got up, holding my half eaten plate of french fries while I searched the hall for the voice I knew so well. Natsu usually didn't go far off, and never for any length of time. He grinned widely when he spotted me and walked to the bar in an as straight line as humanly possible in this place, with tables randomly placed, sometimes also flying through the air when someone found it entertaining to toss them about. On his way he ordered another fiery chicken and Mira rushed to make it right away in the kitchen.

"How was the mission?" I asked when he sat down, and he went full out explaining how he had beaten up some thugs in Hargeon, only breaking about two whole streets in the process. It was strange to see him revert back to his old self so fast, making it hard to believe the story Gray had told me the other day.

FLASHBACK

"Was he really that out of it?" I asked silently while watching him go, dancing with joy as he caught their first giant fish, a fish he gladly handed to his companion today rather than fighting over it. He looked.. normal. Like a kid without a worry in this world. He turned to wave at us, and I waved back before he continued his task. It was a beautiful day, the pond was shining like a thousand glimmering sapphires in the sun. Nightmares ran away in terror on days like this, fearing the beauty that only could harbor hope and prosperity.

"I mean, he seems so normal, or as normal as Natsu ever can be," I added, and sent a look towards one of his best friends, Gray.

"You didn't see him back then. I know he told you he and Lisanna haven't really been on talking terms for a while... First he went berserk, practically wrecked the whole guild while demanding to see Lucy. Demanding someone to come out and fight like a man. Silver-eyes he called him. A person that got away during the fight against Dark Shadows. I, Erza and Mirajane had to hold him down while Fried cast his runes. Even then... Master had to step in in the end. For TWO weeks he stayed in that cage, screaming, hitting the rune walls until his hands turned bloody."

"The eyes he had then... it was as if he wasn't Natsu of Fairy Tail. As if he didn't recognize us. Even after he calmed down, he hardly talked to any of us, as if he blamed us all for what happened. He just started turning back to normal, somewhat, when Gildarts arrived with you." Erza ended it, and sent me a warning glanze. So I was responsible, at least in a way, for the hardships the whole guild had to go through in my absence. She warned me silently to not do something stupid that might make him snap again.

"So the truth is, he didn't really talk to ANYBODY for a long time. Not me, nor Erza, nor Lisanna, nor anyone else in the guild. He's better now, but after seeing that... I don't know if this sudden change back to his old self will last." the black-haired boy sent a glance towards the boy. He had managed to catch two more giant fish while we talked, and now was in the process of frying one of them. Quicker than anyone else I knew he managed to devour the thing, and then he continued fishing.

FLASHBACK END

Like I thought then, he seemed like a kid without a worry in the world. Some of the things he told me too, right now. I couldn't help myself, I laughed. When had I ever laughed like this last? Had to be before everything. Maybe a while before I got taken. It made him stop in his tale, stare at me with wide eyes.

"Sorry.. hehe, it's not even that, hehe... that funny.." I had to clutch my stomach and tears started to fill my eyes as my laughter escalated. It took me several minutes to calm myself down enough to start laughing. When I finally wiped my tears away almost half the guild was gaping at me.

"Wha..?" my brows furrowed and I put another french fry in my mouth, chewed, swallowed. Since I hardly could ask everyone individually, and since I initially had been having a conversation with Natsu, I turned to him.

"What, cat got your tongue?" I asked, and he blinked. I smiled, one of my old smiles, sending him into another daze. Why was my mood so good today? I had no idea. Perhaps the final acceptance regarding the fact that sleep wouldn't turn everything back to the hell it once was. A nice realization, that. Made me sleep all that much better.

"..." he opened his mouth. Closed it again. Then a wide grin spread across his face, and he started laughing too, making me start laughing again myself. So odd. So utterly weird. The two of us just laughing without any visible reason. Then he suddenly go up, walked up to Erza where she had been sitting, her silver fork half way to her mouth where it had ceased movement when I first started laughing. He promptly asked her to fight him. I hadn't seen him challenging anyone for a while, Gajeel being an exception from that a while back. Sure, he had gotten that mouth of his back little by little, but he had remained by my side, not really picking any fights. It had been weird. By doing this it was as if he declared that things finally would be returning to the way they were. I saw a smile flicker across the face of Titania before she accepted the challenge, merely demanding that she got to eat up her cake first. I think I saw Gray looking at me with approval in his eyes too, and he had been a difficult being to win over.

* * *

We gathered outside, bets flying in every direction on who would win. Most people betted on Erza of course, I would probably had done the same if I had any money to speak of. Everyone pretty much knew the final result of this battle, even with Erzas pretty words about how she believed in his strength while slightly doubting her own. While I still felt hesitant when it came to touching other people I still mustered up enough courage to stand in the crowd so I could cheer them both on. The fight began, and lasted for a full length of two minutes before the Dragon Slayer lay on the ground, utterly defeated. I laughed again, people around me smiling when they looked at me.

The mood in the guild was improving by the minute, one member after another giving in completely and just accepting the fact that I was there, and that I wasn't just some stranger that happened to have somehow caught the fancy of Natus Dragneel, though that in any case was an accomplishment. Few had ever even imagined the boy hooking up with a girl, and here I was, a girl he had Marked no less, whatever that implied. I had at one point confided in Mira and told her I doubted Natsu even was aware of what he was doing when that happened, but she had laughed it off. What she replied with was that even though he might not've known what he was doing, that proved the affection on an even deeper level. Who would subconsciously mark a person they despised? Then I tried explaining it was unconsciously, and not subconsciously, but she refused to listen. In her head, this remained a cute love story, much like Romeo and Juliet. Only not like that at all...

* * *

I sat in my white infirmary dress and drank a Strawberry Milkshake on the RIGHT side of the bar-counter, sitting next to Natsu while he and Happy talked about this GIANT flying fish they'd encountered on this mission, and I shot in with memories of how terribly flying fish actually tasted, something Happy gladly agreed with. He still didn't remember much, but he said it was as if something poked at his memories when I laughed earlier. Something similar probably happened with the other Fairy Tail members as well, since they seemed a bit more familiar around me now. The had come over every now and then, asking questions. Reedus even looked through some of his old works and found an old painting of Team Natsu where I was included. There was no doubt anymore that I used to be part of this place.

The doors opened yet again, showing off the receding sun, slowly lowering in the horizon, soon to be replaced by the moon and a starry sky. In the door stood a single person, her short, white hair giving her identity away, if not her blue eyes or the smile she performed while announcing her return. The youngest Strauss sibling, home after quite a long absence.

"Lisanna..." Natsu muttered, his smile faltering when he saw her. Not too weird, since his last spoken words to her had been for her to get out after she tried speaking some sense into him regarding my existence. This was his childhood friend. Strong, dependent, and kind. She had supposedly died for then to return two years later. She and Natsu needed to make up. Really. And there is was, that odd, hardly familiar tinge. That tiny, itsy bitsy sting that told me that it still remained ever so slightly, that jealousy I held towards the girl that knew a Natsu I would never know. Young Natsu. Not that I would let it get the best of me, however. Not this time. She was a sweet girl. Kind and sweet and not a person that deserved the rage of Natsu Dragneel. He might've been right in that particular fight that led to the gap between them, but that didn't mean they should just remain enemies. Friends fought. Lovers fought too. To be honest I still had my uncertainties regarding the nature of their relationship, but they were close.

"Hi Lisanna!" I yelled, waved at her, and she sought the voice, flinched slightly when her eyes landed on her childhood friend before they moved onto me. She managed a smile. Kind of forced, but I could understand that.

"Hi. I don't think we've met before. You a new member of Fairy Tail? What's your name?" she tried avoiding looking at the boy next to me that refused to look back at her, and thusly found a new victim to stare at, namely me. It made me a tad self conscious. Okey, very self conscious.

"I'm Lucy," I replied while trying to maintain a friendly smile, though I kind of knew that she would react to that. And sure enough... Lisanna had slowly started heading for the bar, but when she heard my name she stopped dead, her gaze once more flickering towards Natsu. This.. might get awkward.

***Well, it was VERY fast forward, but I needed stuff to happen so things ended up the way they did. I hope this chapter ended up being somewhat pleasing after the long wait. At least I managed to write a chapter this time. Okay, VERY fast forward, but nothing has been resolved yet. Not really. I'm not making any sense anymore, am I... Anyways, I'll be working on the next chapter now, so tell me what you think or whatever. Hopefully it will be less than a month until the next update, but no promises. Promises are for people with a somewhat steady flow of inspiration and that doesn't have a Muse that essentially is a bitch. Goodbye.***


	24. Chapter 24

***I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline...***

A hushed silence filled the room as its people waited for the anticipated clash between the two females in the center. That would be me, and Lisanna. I had wondered where she had gone off to, especially since it had been a while since I got to know she was on a mission. Quite the long one too. True enough, it had been months since her return from Edolas now, she should've established enough confidence to be able to do things without everyone wondering of she would get hurt again.

"Lucy?" she uttered my name as a question, her eyes wide as she stared at me, her body frozen in place. I felt the insecurity return. I felt.. a bit scared, perhaps. Not for her rage, Lisanna didn't just lash out without reason, and I didn't expect her to do anything like that now either. I think I feared rejection. It was important to me that she acknowledged me. To my surprise, her eyes suddenly turned cold, reserved.

"You've got to be kidding me." she uttered, crossed her arms. So much for my theory about her never lashing out in anger... Not that she was technically lashing out as of yet, but her eyes scared me.

"Wouldn't do that if I were you, buttercup," Gajeel commented, once more intervening randomly in this confrontation. I had my eyes locked on the white haired girl, so I wasn't sure who he was referring to. Lisanna, perhaps? He usually called me bunny girl. Not that that was completely unchangeable, he used to vary it every now and then before too. Lisanna wasn't doing much either. She just stood there, staring at me intently while I did the same towards her while I got up. This tension. It was my fault for making the boy go mental, though he had been stupid enough to mark me and thus making him a tad overprotective. If that was what it was... At least he kept himself nearby and refused to let me leave. Not that I wanted to leave...

"Do what?" Lisanna asked in a steely voice, her eyes flickering towards the direction Gajeels voice came from before they locked onto me again.

"I.. I know you and Natsu had a fight, but... You're friends. And I know that Natsu isn't the type to hold a grudge towards his family, so you two sh.."

"YOU.. are lecturing ME? Just because you waltz into this guild claiming to be the ever missing Lucy, and even if you might BE the actual Lucy..." well that was accepted easily. Too easily, really... Then again, even if I happened to be erased, the Edolas version of me might not be. Lisanna had spent two years with that version of me, so she might recognize me due to that.

"YOU disappeared for FOUR months. FOUR. MONTHS. Why would you do something like that, huh? Why would you hurt the guild like that?!" she strode over to me, slapped me in the face. Hard. Cold hands. Cold. Cold...

No. Cold hands indicated one of THEM. One of the shadows. This wasn't real, and then I needed to get away before... THEY had chosen the next one.

* * *

The white haired girl was livid. how DARED this girl to just show up and act as if everything was ABSOLUTELY normal? FOUR months she had been missing, making everything gloomy and transforming the perhaps happiest person in the whole of Fairy Tail into an emotional wreck. When she hit the girl that had approached her, she didn't mean to hurt the girl. She was just.. frustrated. Pissed off. This was Fairy Tail, some minor violence such as this would wear off soon enough. Only the look in her eyes. The girl that had presented herself as Lucy took a step backwards, staring at the girl as if Lisanna would jump her any given seconds and claw her eyes out. The counter where Natsu was resting his now clenched hands started blackening from the heat, seemingly making him ready to attack the girl that had tried to be there for him.

Lisanna knew. She knew that there was indeed a being called Lucy. Lucy Ashley had been a girl she had known in Edolas during her stay there. That didn't mean, however, that her counterpart necessarily was an associate to THIS guild. After all, Lucy Ashley had been a member of Edolas Fairy Tail for years, while Lisanna could recall no such being ever being a member of THIS guild. She might exist here in Earthland, but for all she knew the girl could be a member of the disbanded Phantom Lord due to the opposite character deal and all. But she had searched. Searched far and wide for a girl named Lucy. A girl no one knew. She had found an apartment in Magnolia where the landlord didn't remember who had lived there. Only a name on a contract. Lucy H. Of course she hadn't told Natsu about this, since he wasn't in the talkative mood at the time, and since a name alone hardly proved jack squat. Lisanna did bring the discovery up with Master, however, and he had listened. After all, Natsu Dragneel was not one to break down due to some stranger. He fought for strangers, sure. If he found their cause worth fighting for, there was nothing to stop him. But he didn't go mental due to a person he didn't even recall ever meeting.

Lucy Heartfilia, the girl that had ceased to exist in all minds. Now she had returned, and she acted as if she knew.. EVERYTHING. She knew, and still left the boy suffering for four months. Now that was outright cruel. That SHOULD justify the harsh words and the slap. She did plan on apologizing though, right when the girl in front of her whimpered, took another step backwards so she bumped into Erza that somehow magically had appeared, ready for combat, probably against the boy that was getting twitchy and just got up from his seat. The girl, Lucy if she wasn't lying, shrieked upon making contact with the cool metal armor and set off running. Natsu set off after her without offering a single look towards the girl that now was more confused than angry. Had the girl seemed.. frightened? Lucy Ashley wasn't a typically timid girl, and if this version of her was THIS scared then HOW could she possibly be a Fairy Tail member? Lisanna had noticed the mark. What kind of mage would Lucy be, anyways?

"There she goes again," Cana commented and harvested more money from bets placed regarding something.

"Quite the runner, that Lucy," Mira added and sent the runner a look before going back to serving her patrons. Sure, there were a lot of unexplained factors and the whole matter with what might be torture, but people could only remain immobilized for so long. Lucy, the core of the problem that had been gnawing away on the guild for some time had returned. Sure, she had her issues that needed to be resolved, but so did most people in this guild. With time things would probably work out, and in the meantime they accepted the new oddity in the guild, along with all her antics, her fear of people touching her included.

* * *

They're coming. They're coming and they'll drag me under. The shadows. Shadows are always cold, it gives them away. They'll drag me under and my world will be pain and blood and screams.

"Lucy!" was all the warning I got before I got myself tackled to the ground again. I had to run. I had to get away. Let me go. Natsu was holding me down, staring intently at me again, not saying a word and not allowing me to move an inch as he lowered his head, rested his forehead on mine until I finally calmed down. He was warm. Warm was good. In the meantime people passed by in the street. Normal people. They didn't do anything but glance as us every now and then. I guess the presence of Fairy Tail made them used to things like this on a daily basis. I had been running on trips like this a few times during the last days too.

"You okay?" he finally asked when I stopped wriggling and my breathing slowed enough for him to know that the panic attack had passed.

"You got to stop doing that, you know..." he continued.

"Do what?"

"Making a run for it like that. Makes me itchy."

"Because of the mark?"

"Amongst other things." he moved away and got up on his feet, reached out a hand, helped me up.

"You're kind of close there, Natsu, I'm alright. They didn't.. Natsu?" one thing was staying close when keeping me from running away, but now.. he was going overboard. The boy was standing with virtually no space between us, and was he sniffing me? Just slowly moving his nose across my jawline on the side where Lisanna had slapped me with her cold hands. The thought made a shiver move up my spine. He stopped his movements completely, his dark eyes focusing on mine.

"She hit you." he almost whispered, his breath tickling my neck. He was mentally fighting himself to avoid getting REALLY cross with his childhood friend and therefore focusing entirely on me, something that led to him being VERY aware of the mark. I didn't know all the details regarding how it affected him, but I knew that being obsessively protective was on that list. And possibly borderline perverted. Since he remained fairly innocent to begin with I doubted the boy would go too far, and the closeness he showed now seemed to be more of an act of reassurance rather than something fueled by impure intent. Then again.. he did tend to surprise me from time to time. Like when his eyes turned dark, like they'd been for a while now. I had the feeling I was walking in dangerous territory. Tread carefully.

"I bailed on you for four months, and by the sounds of it you didn't take it too well." I replied, and the boy moved his face away enough for me to at least make the illusion of having a personal sphere. He sighed. Perhaps was I heading into safe territory now. Perhaps not.

"Luce..." he mumbled, his nose twitching again.

"What?" I asked. Natsu opened his mouth, grimaced, closed it again as if he changed his mind. Then his pose righted up, as if he woke up from a daze.

"Lisanna..." he said and turned around. And indeed, there she was, very close. She must've followed us soon after I started running. I attempted to use the distraction in order to get away but had an arm around my waist before I managed to make an escape.

"No you don't."

"It's NOT safe..." I tried explaining to him, fighting his grip but only halfheartedly. Wasn't like I could outrun him if he really decided to catch me, and he had gone all out so far. As long as my mark stayed in place escaping Natsu would be next to impossible.

"I would.. appreciate.. you not getting all violent towards Lucy again." he said while strengthening his grip on me, doing his best to remain polite but oozing with a coldness I didn't know he could ever muster up even towards his enemies. He was standing right behind me now, I could feel his heart beating rapidly along with his rising body temperature. The boy was on the verge of snapping due to all this, and neither I nor Lisanna was doing much to improve the situation.

"You marked her?" it sounded like an accusation rather than a question. Cold hands. I wanted her to get along with Natsu, but I didn't want her to touch me. I wanted the two of them to become friends like they used to, but I DIDN'T want her to TOUCH me. If she did, things might get bad. Really bad. I had to calm down, though. Natsu could feel my tension. It was urging him to act, urging him to remove whatever was threatening me. According to the old book on dragon lore things could get pretty ugly when the marked one ended up in a dangerous situation.

"Not like I meant to." he replied, and I think he grimaced, though I couldn't see it. Calm down. Calm down. But she was COLD. If she was cold then... Perhaps it was natural? I mean, some people had cold hands. The air around here was pretty cold too, I suspected, though I couldn't feel it with the waves of heat emanating from my protector. The boy that was SAFE.

"And how do you even know what it is anyways?" he continued asking. That was actually a pretty good question. How DID she know? How did ANYONE know? The process of marking was hardly a widely known phenomena, the book I and Levy had been reading was extremely rare, and only recently roughly translated from a VERY dead language.

"That isn't the POINT. When did you mark her, Natsu? Right after she said her name?" Lisanna still sounded accusative. Angry. Demanding answers.

"No, why would I do that?" her rage was rubbing off too, Natsu was starting to sound positively pissed himself.

"I don't know, Natsu, not like you've been yourself in a long time. When was it then?"

"I don't know." he muttered, and the girl took a step towards us. Please. Don't come closer. If you come closer, bad things will happen. My body started shaking. That would be the part when Erza chose to intervene, just as Natsu caught fire again and I managed to rip myself out of his grip right before the flat side of a sword knocked the raging boy out.

* * *

I was sitting next to the unconscious body of Salamander that currently lay on the couch in the guild. Lisanna was given a recap of the passed days, together with the usual sets of warnings. Yes, I had arrived at the guild WITH the marks, both the one given to me by Natsu and the one placing me amongst Fairy Tail members. It had been revealed that I was held captive, it being the reason why I hadn't returned, but that I still refused to tell exactly what had been going on during my time in captivity. I feared people touching me, except Natsu. I knew everything. So did the boy, up to the point where I got taken.

During the whole briefing I sat next to my marker, staring emptily ahead. Afterwards the girl made her way over to me, crossed her arms as she stood in the line of my vision. It made me itchy, but I didn't move as long as she didn't move in to touch me.

"I won't forgive you. Not until you tell me." she stated. There was a stubborn look in her eyes, the kind that told me she wanted the whole truth, and knew that I knew more than I let out.

"Tell you what?" I asked, grabbed hold of the boys hair where he lay with his head resting on my lap. Twirled it around my fingers in order to have something to do while trying to avoid answering her questions. I knew that she knew, and she knew that I knew that she knew. I didn't wish to go there, hence my choice of telling them nothing about the dreams.

"What makes you afraid of people touching you." she said it with her firm voice, her strength shining through. I remember being as brave as her once upon a time. Not so much anymore. It was improving, but I didn't really want to face this. Not now. Perhaps never.

"I'm not afraid of people touching me. I am afraid of shadows touching me." I specified, tried bringing her off her one way track towards unpleasantland.

"Okay. Why?" she accepted the notion, had already been told of me talking about shadows every now and then. I guess their existence in itself wasn't too important. She wanted to know why I feared them, or at least she thought she wanted to know. My attempt of distraction had failed.

"It's bad." I replied. A simple answer. I feared shadows touching me. Had good reasons.

"Why." it was a question without being stated like a question. More like a demand.

"I don't want to talk about it." not a lie. I did NOT wish to talk about it. If the indirect approach didn't work, then a direct approach might be better.

"So what happens if a shadow touches you?" Lisanna tried a different approach. What indeed. She wasn't giving up on this one, was she...

"Bad things." really, REALLY bad things.

"What things." yet again a demand rather than a question.

"Like I said, b.." I don't want to. Please don't make me admit it out loud. Please... stop. I heard Erza trying to come in with some relatively mild protest to the interrogation, but she was ignored.

"WHAT HAPPENS!" Lisanna yelled, stopped me from restating that bad things happened. I don't want to.

"They DIE!" I yelled back, my hands shaking again, and I looked down, focused on the sleeping face of my former partner. Silence.

"What?" Lisanna was confused. Of course she was confused, why wouldn't she be? But she wanted to know. She wanted the truth. I don't want to.

"Shadows would take the form of people I knew. They would talk like those people, and then, when they touched me, they would drag me down to Pain. There the shadows that still bore the appearance of whoever I knew would be strapped to a table..." I took a shaky breath, trying to keep away a sob before I lifted my gaze to the person that made me say this.

"..and I would be forced to watch while they were tortured to death." the screams of tortured people filled my mind, together with much too vivid images. Gray begging for him to stop, the man with the moustache. Erza screaming while the man slowly and carefully gutted her with some grotesque looking knife. From time to time he would stop long enough to turn to me, his face bloodied from his artwork, a smile flickering across his features before he asked me if I'd had enough yet.

"I have seen it so many times. I've seen you die. I've heard you scream for mercy in the beginning, only crying silently for him to stop in the end. Begging him to kill you. And not only you, either. Mira, Elfman, Erza, Gray, Levy, Gajeel... everyone. I have seen everyone be dismembered limb for limb, and it always started with a touch. The only one that never got taken was Natsu. He was the only one that was SAFE." I stopped again, huddled together, another sob escaping my lips as I gave in to the tears and let them flow. I noticed that Natsu was starting to wake up, but did nothing to stop the water hitting his face.

"I don't want to see you die again." I do not want to see you die. I do not want to hear you scream in agony. I do not want...

* * *

He captured her lips effortlessly, a reaction to the tears, the closeness and her shaking body. Lucy was crying. His Lucy was crying and in pain. Natsu hated it when she was like that. He hated her tears, and he despised whoever had caused her to shed them. No, not Lisanna. He understood that the white haired girl might have initially caused his partner to break down, but she was NOT the real cause. The words he had heard when he woke up because of her pain. They had made her watch while her friends... he didn't get how that was even remotely possible, but if Lucy WAS crying...

He moved almost with practiced grace after initiating the kiss, lifted his head, turned his body and suddenly found himself leaning over her huddled form, all without breaking contact. Her lips were soft, tasted of salt from her tears, moved ever so slightly with his own. He didn't think she meant to do so according to her wide open eyes that right then had forgotten about their grief. Right now her mind was focused on him alone, how he rested a hand right next to her head, supporting him so he didn't crush her. How his tongue lightly touched her lips, and how his temperature slowly was rising to a height that soon would scorch the sofa. Not that he would allow it to hurt her. He would never hurt her, especially not by flames.

Someone had the decency to cough, making the male realize that he still remained in the guild, surrounded by his guildmates. He stopped in his movements, his eyes moving and meeting Lisannas. If she didn't remember, just like he didn't for some time, she would still remain pissed off at him since the disaster with the kiss, even after the incident where he had snapped and demanded her to leave his sight before he did something he might regret. Natsu Dragneel blushed, but remained in his position over the girl he needed to protect, if nothing else to maintain her feeling of safety, though he removed his lips from hers. She had deemed him safe. She'd declared that earlier too. He'd just assumed that she somehow saw him as a person that never would hurt her. While the thought of her believing anyone else in this guild would do anything to cause her pain seemed odd to him, he accepted it as he was allowed proximity. What did he know, perhaps did the mark affect her as well. But this. She hadn't been referring to her own safety. She was referring to theirs.

Her body had been mangled, mistreated and damaged when she first arrived at the guild. Bruised, scratched, and with that terrible wound on her leg that was covered in dirt and badly infected. Her statement about her hardly being touched seemed unlikely. But her fearing more for her guildmates.. that was the Lucy he knew. Somewhere in there she existed, the strong person that would fight until the end to protect what mattered. She wasn't gone. He just needed her to resurface so he could make everyone else remember her. The fragile Lucy, the one that didn't smile and didn't laugh and didn't get mad, she was just a mask. They would remember her if he brought the real Lucy back. He would MAKE them remember, but in the meantime, he would guard her. He would guard the shell while luring her out, little by little.

***Well. This was an odd chapter. I didn't mean to make Lisanna some kind of bad guy, you know, just a strong person that knew that the soft approach didn't always work. I like Lisanna, really. She is a very strong character, though when she first came back I will admit I was slightly annoyed. She made up for it later on though, so I kind of sort of forgave her. I hope you liked this chapter. Very short time-wise, but one of the longer ones word-wise. Even passed the 4000 word mark. Since it stretched out over such a short period of time though I saw no point in dividing it, so here we are. I shall continue on working on this story now, so we shall encounter each other again. At some point. Don't know when. If you wanted steady updates at set dates you should've gone to a different writer.

Okay. So I like kissing, though I cannot say I am overly good at describing it. Deal with it.***


	25. Chapter 25, RECAP TIME

***This might be the oddest filler chapter I ever wrote. Not even sure it will ever make any kind of sense for anyone else but me. Oh well. I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. Welcome, my dear readers, to the chaotic world that resides within the mind of Natsu Dragneel. And, oh yeah... this stretches out to include most chapters in the story so far. Just to avoid some of the initial confusion. I repeat. This is a filler chapter. If you don't want to, you don't have to read it.***

It was the feeling of slight unease when she declined going on a mission with me and Lisanna. That feeling that drew me towards her and didn't want me to leave her side. Then she got the scary eyes and demanded me to go on the mission anyways, so I gave in. Without her knowing I silently dragged Happy off and made him stay with my partner, since I had a feeling something was off. He agreed, and I left with my childhood friend assured that Lucy would be okay during my absence. Why did I feel the need to watch over her? She could take care of herself, had saved me quite a few times. But.. she was off, lately. Didn't talk too much, and fell into a daze more often that usual. I was worried. She had her rent coming up too, yet declined a mission. Why?

* * *

It was the feeling when I sat by the bar, devouring food while looking for an opening to attack Gray when Erza wasn't watching. Lucy walked into the guild, and I ate the remnants of my food only to look at her, my eyes knitted together since something felt.. wrong. Then Happy came flying in through the entrance, whispered to me the news. She had gone on a mission without me. I sent another glance towards the girl that picked up a flyer, headed for the bar and got it approved by Mira before she left. That wasn't her.

* * *

It was the confusion when I found myself chastising her for injuring herself. It was a sprain. She'd taken far worse, yet I found myself getting all annoyed and bothered. Maybe it wasn't the fact that her ankle was damaged, rather the fact that she didn't tell anyone about it. This was Lucy. She was able to take worse, but when she wasn't faced with situations that demanded her complete devotion, she would complain repeatedly and loudly. But again with the silence. I knew something was up. Something weird. Possibly not in a good way. Probably not. For now the only thing I could do was be there. So I carried her. Had done it before. Not a big deal.

* * *

It was the determination when I saw the wyvern fly off with her, along with the strange urge to laugh. Of course being taken by a wyvern was a serious matter, I had to get her back before she got eaten or crushed or burned or whatever the thing had in store for her, but being kidnapped by a wyvern... Only Lucy. No one else I knew would end up in a similar situation. It was the slight tinge of panic when I realized a flaw in my plan. I can't fly. The wyvern can. The issue was solved moments later when she was dropped by the thing and was sent crashing into the woods. She was alright. Bruised, but alright.

* * *

It was the frustration when she refused to go on the next mission with Team Natsu. A month long one. Erza actually dragged the lot of us aside after the meet at her home, and confronted us about Lucys strange behavior lately. Somehow, we all agreed to give her all some time. We'd go on this mission, and then, if she wasn't all better upon our return she would personally corner her and demand an explanation. Oddly enough Gray was the one to question that plan, speaking up against Erza. She had made up her mind though, Erza, and when Lisanna said she'd asked Mira to keep an eye out it was set in stone. We headed out, and wouldn't be returning for a good while.

* * *

It was the sheer awkwardness when Lisanna kissed me. I hadn't seen it coming, and asked why she did it. That was when the tears arrived. And Erza was pissed. Mira was pissed. Gray seemed.. he wasn't there. I'd done something wrong, obviously, but I didn't get what. So I fled pretty soon, barely dodged a good amount of flying swords before I headed to the usual place. Or I was about to, when I encountered Gray. We fought, and I eventually found myself outside my house. Strange. I thought nothing more of it though when I headed inside with Happy and fell asleep, exhausted after a long day.

* * *

It was the feeling of slight unease once more when I entered her home. Of course I went straight for the fridge. I hadn't been at the guild yet and was starving. Only the food there was rotting. Old. Passed its expiring date even beyond the point where I would eat it anyways. The bed was neatly done, hadn't been slept in for some time. Her smell still lingered in the room, but... something didn't seem right. I remembered how Gray had talked about how we shouldn't leave Lucy alone. He knew something. Had mentioned at some point during the mission that the warning had come from one of her spirits, though he refused to let me in on what led it to say that in the first place. Then I noticed a note on her desk.

I ran. I was running, entered the guild once more, panting, the crumbled note in my hand. They were still mad, but Mira took her time to notice my expression before attacking me ruthlessly, thus stopping in her movement. I asked when she'd seen Lucy last. She answered that she hadn't been in for almost a week, and that she'd seemed sick. Loke had been in every now and then to listen to the news, so she had assumed the girl was taken care of though she had thought of visiting the girl soon to check on her. I dropped the note. Stared at her in disbelief. She was gone. Lucy was gone. Possibly for a week. She'd seemed sick. Mira asked me once more what was up. I repeated the words going through my head over and over again. She's gone. I saw the guild quieten down. She was gone. On the same day HE was gone.

* * *

It was the feeling of anger when I spotted her sitting under the Sakura, mixed in with relief. I'd already received the news from Erza, and had first headed for the house that still remained empty. But there she sat, Lucy, staring at the sky, the stars way up there. I approached her, slowly. The darkness didn't really show off her features too clearly, but I noticed some things. She was pale. Had lost weight. Her voice seemed.. tired. Leaving on that mission hadn't been a good idea, because this Lucy was crumbling in front of me. What was I to do with this? We argued, and at some point I hit her. Not hard, of course not, but she felt it. She threatened to quit Team Natsu. Then she crumbled to the ground, started crying loudly. Her voice was so thin. So helpless. I lifted her up then, headed for her home. I knew I always complained about her weight. She had lost quite a lot of weight. Probably hadn't been eating for a while judging from the old food in her fridge.

When we entered her apartment, Loke awaited, angry and yelling words. I ignored them, but said my hellos anyways while making my way to her bedroom. Wasn't often I used the door. Sometimes I even forgot it was there. She was scared of me leaving her. Why? She also felt scared. Just plain scared. Didn't even want to sleep. According to Loke it had been like that for a while. Since Team Natsu left. The mission seemed like less and less of a good idea. Soon after the mystery of her disappearance was solved. Lucy had visited her Mother. A good excuse. And the bed was well kept because she HADN'T been sleeping in it for a good while. She'd been sleeping on the floor instead.

I felt sorry for hitting her. Didn't mean to do that. Once more my words failed me, though. I never did any good with words. That was HER way, not mine. But I chose to remain by her side this time. Get the truth out with time on my side rather than words. She usually told me what bothered her if I persisted long enough.

It was the feeling when she screamed, a terrified shriek that for a moment made me think of some horde of monsters coming to attack us. Then I blinked, and found myself in her bed, her sprawled on the floor while muttering strange things. She was weird, that Lucy. I caught some of it though, the part where she tried convincing herself about no one hating her. Of course no one hated her. She could be annoying if she wanted to, and she WAS weird, but not in a way that would make anyone hate her. I told her anyways, since she didn't seem to be believing in her own words. She thought I was mad. As in angry. Well, at first I was, to be completely honest, but beneath all that, I was scared. I knew that.

* * *

It was the feeling of complete ease when I started to wake up. It had been a while since I slept this good. Of course, it had been a while since I'd slept in this ridiculously comfy bed too. It really was the comfiest bed ever. I opened my eyes slowly, only to realize that I wasn't alone in the bed. Right in front of me she lay, my partner, sleeping soundly in my arms. When did this happen? I clearly didn't remember ever getting under the duna with her, nor did I recall wrapping my arms around her like this. Currently my chin was resting on the top of her head, and I could smell her hair. It always smelled oddly pleasant, her hair. Never mind how she managed it, or how we ended up like this. I was tired, and though the situation seemed a bit odd it was strangely comfortable. Therefore I closed my eyes and fell back asleep.

It was the strange feeling that made me leave her house early, if passed noon could be considered early, heading for the Strauss house to apologize. Not that I knew what I was apologizing for. Or why... Lucy had been trying to say something, but I had left before she started. Probably not too important. If it was, she would surely tell me about it later. I didn't get to the house however. Somehow I ended up back home instead, where a now much better Happy was just waking up. He'd been ill when we returned from our mission. Not very ill, but ill enough for him to go straight home afterwards in order to sleep it off. I guess he was more tired than anything. When the both of us arrived at the guild everyone else was already there, and the misunderstanding was clearly taken care of, since Lucy was sitting next to Erza without getting plummeted. Erza then spoke of the mission she now had signed us up for, and Lucy dragged her off to speak with her. They soon arrived back, clearly in agreement, and Lucy ordered a strawberry shake she then proceeded to start nibbling on. I got dragged off later and told to watch out for my partner, without getting any specifications as to why. Since it was Erza doing the demands though, I only agreed, and besides, I already knew. My partner could take a hit. Of course she could, but right now it almost seemed as if she could be broken in half. She'd been sleeping well last night, but still she seemed tired, and I sensed that slight fear in her eyes that kept gnawing on me for some odd reason.

* * *

It was the feeling I had when I realized what I had done, and knew that the weeks to come would be.. well.. awkward. It happened in that very moment when I had demanded her to tell me what pissed her off during the train ride. It had to be something that made her all flustered and angry and refusing to even look at me. So when I saw my chance I had dragged her to the side, demanding an explanation. I didn't remember the dream, so I figured I might've.. oh well never mind what, no one else seemed to have noticed. Therefore, when she stood her ground and refused putting it into words I told her she could do the same to me in order to make it even. That made her blush, but I evidently convinced her, and she demanded that I shut my eyes. I asked her what she was doing when I felt her breath on my neck, slightly panicking inside but standing my ground since I'd asked her to do this. I smelled it then, an tantalizing odor that told me that oh shit. I had done something I shouldn't have. There was no way I would tell her about it. How could I?

* * *

It was the feeling I felt when I woke up entangled with her, her face so very close and so very... I stopped thinking before my mind went there. Her face was so peaceful, so calm. Then my good friend Lisanna chose to intervene by commenting on how this was borderline sexual assault, thus waking me up from the scented nightmare that clouded my better judgement. We talked, Lisanna and I, and she tried teasing me about the recent development between me and my partner. I wouldn't know. Didn't trust my instinct that much at the moment with the stuff that had happened. It was the feeling of dread when I realized that the red that colored the end of the bed belonged to the girl I evidently had saved from death. Again.

* * *

It was that uncontrollable rage that consumed me when I in the middle of battle heard her scream, only to see someone trying to touch the unconscious form of my partner, surrounded by flames that I never would allow to hurt her. At least not now. It was the relief when I came to my senses only to realize she was safe, by my side, my opponents long since defeated.

Then there was the nausea that tore at my insides when we bordered the train.. ugh.. only competing with that small tinge of worry for her since she hadn't woken up yet despite all that had happened. She lay by my side, her head resting in my lap, sleeping soundly and at the moment not complaining about my recent strange behavior. It was the feeling of her soft skin beneath my thumb and then the chill that went down my spine when she sighed at some point and moved closer.

* * *

There was the feeling of having my guts removed, making it hard to breathe while some kind of epic battle started between my instincts and my common sense. Sure I had one. It was telling me that nothing was wrong beyond the fact that I was on a train. Ugh. Train... but my instincts was yelling to me, shouting at me that there was much wrong beyond that fact, which was bad enough. I saw my Teammates in similar positions, with their common sense winning the battle as they slowly settled down from their ready for battle stances. But the pain. My instincts kept yelling at me to attack, to rip someones throat out. Didn't know who, whenever I tried grasping for the answer it promptly vanished, searing at my mind and causing a new wave of fear and fury and pain. I managed to moan out a sound my mind didn't get a grasp of when I retorted to thinking. Lucy. Now when I knew the sound it made no sense, but I managed to say it again, louder and with more security, the sound that made no sense that made another surge of pain run through my body. My instincts, the ones residing deep within me, once more called for blood. I flickered alight, my flames shaky at best due to the.. ugh.. train. Erza was getting up again now, the reason for her earlier stance forgotten, but now reinstated as she seemed worried about my sudden aggressive behavior. Then I roared in anger and chose to let my instinct take over completely, the next thing I knew I was heading for the window. I saw the surprised look in Grays eyes. I heard Happy say something about me scaring him. Erza that drew her sword. Then there was shattered glass and I was falling, falling while yelling that sound again. A name. A name of someone I didn't know, but that my being demanded the presence of.

* * *

It was searing anger, making me spew words I didn't know if I wanted her to hear. She had denied the name. Lisanna had denied the name. It was the feeling of something snapping, and I started spouting more words. Words that ought to hurt her. I yelled them anyways, since she had denied my pain. She denied the existence of someone I had never met, but that I desperately needed back.

* * *

It was the feeling of my fists hitting the rune walls. I didn't remember clearly what happened, just rage and pain and desperation. Some time after the angry words directed at Lisanna. Some time after I almost scorched the guild. My fists hit the walls again and again, soon bloodied though it didn't make me stop. Somehow, it distracted me from that other pain, the pain that lay so deep within that I couldn't truly access the source. I still used its words though, shouted for Lucy, and craving the blood of a silver eyed boy.

* * *

Then there was the dull numbness that followed that searing rage, since time passed and none of the two I demanded the presence of showed. I needed food. I needed water. I needed sleep. Those basic needs overrode the need to keep hitting things, if not only briefly. They let me out of the cage, and I satisfied two of the three if nothing else. Food and water. No one spoke much to me, and I didn't approach them unless I had to. They reminded me of.. something. Something that wasn't there. Somehow a secret arrangement was made to not speak the name of the one I had been screaming out for for... two weeks, as it turned out. Two weeks in a rune cage, screaming and hurting because of someone I had never met.

* * *

There was the feeling of normality slowly settling in Fairy Tail. I started doing missions again, soon accompanied by Happy though he still seemed uncertain due to my strange behavior. I knew he worried. He worried because he knew I didn't sleep much. Sleep was followed by more ache, after all, since I would just lay there, having nothing else to do than thinking, something I found not too entertaining.

* * *

Then there was the feeling of annoyance towards Gildarts when he mentioned the name. Annoyance because it still made something stir within me. A hope that his words were true. He had found her. My guild mate had then talked to a stranger, a girl that seemed broken and sleep deprived, hurt yet still oddly strong, her blonde hair freshly washed but unkept and perhaps a bit lifeless. Her brown eyes bore into mine, and she repeated the forbidden word. Her name was Lucy. It could be a coincidence. It really could. I mean, this girl.. I'd never seen her before. My curiosity still won, though, and I approached the girl, soon trapped her against the wall. That was when her smell hit me. That smell. I realized it as I uttered the words. You're Lucy. There was the feeling of relief that hit me when I realized I hadn't gone crazy after all. She was real. And unconscious the moment after. I caught that glimpse of relief before she passed out. I caught the girl named Lucy as she fell, my mind reeling while I turned around. Sure, the realization of the girl not being a fragment of my imagination was a load off my chest, but it left me with a lot of questions. Like the question regarding who she was. I HAD to know her, there was no other possibility. I wouldn't.. I wouldn't do THAT towards a person I just met, right?

* * *

It was the feeling of frustration when Lucy kept running. She was terrified for even the lightest touch, making her scream and run and want to get away. She didn't know. She recognized me, clearly, just like I recognized her, but she didn't know the circumstances around why I needed to be close to her. That would be why she kept asking me. Why did I do this? Why? Then there was that slight relief when I realized that even though she seemed adamant in trying to get away from me, she didn't cringe when I got close. She didn't cry out. At some point, she declared me SAFE. Then I kissed her. I didn't mean to, but when she made a run for it like that, forcing me to jump her in order to stop her from getting away. Then she was very close, and my instincts chose to override my common sense that told me to give the girl time. I mean, she was as lost as me. At least I thought so. Then I found out that she knew everything. She knew me, she knew herself, she knew that she was a Fairy Tail mage.

* * *

Then there was the feeling when I woke up, slightly nauseous, and remembered everything myself. I remembered the first time I and Lucy Heartfilia met in Hargeon. The rescue mission at Mt. Hakobe. Evarloo Mansion. That was when I realized how extensive the damage done was. I had marked my partner. Without her consent, and until recently also without her knowledge. I had to ask her, one of these days, how she knew the term. Had to be one of her books, surely. She read a lot, Lucy. Now she was a shivering mass of fear and angst. I was allowed near her, more so now when I knew, and it was.. a relief. No other word for it. And anger, once more, towards whoever did this. I heard Gildarts talking about how he had captured the culprit. So he or she was gone. Good.

* * *

It was the rage once more when Lisanna lashed out against Lucy. Once more I didn't mean to be upset. I was going to let it go, since people fought all the time in this guild, when she hit her. In the face. If Lucy hadn't chosen to run then and there things might've gotten ugly. Instead I ran after her, managed to tackle her to the ground, thus stopping her attempted escape. There had been quite a few. Again I found myself drawn towards her, a tugging it was hard to resist, though the approaching assailant made it possible to control myself. This wasn't the time for.. stuff. Then there was that verbal assault again, making Lucy shiver. She didn't use to shiver. She could be afraid, sure, but not like this. Never like this. It was trigging my instincts that wanted me to protect her. Urging me to remove the threat whatever it might be. At some point everything went red, and then black when I got knocked out before I could do something I might regret later.

It was the feeling when I woke up to tears, and heard her speak of what made her break. Seeing her loved ones die. That was so utterly.. Lucy. I wish I could have a swing of whoever made her believe she saw that, but he was behind bars, where he belonged. It was the feeling when my lips met hers, and I felt that she belonged to me, and me alone in that single, stretched out moment. She might be broken, my Lucy, but I could bring her back. Not only me, either. All of us. Fairy Tail. We all had our stories, wounds from our pasts. Lucy wasn't lost, merely hiding. I would, along with our family, bring her back into the light.

***Random enough? I think so. If it makes no sense whatsoever, then I might delete it completely, but when I wrote it I found it amusing enough to reveal it all to you people. The chapter, I mean. Okay, so I got bored. This might make some sense out of the story, if you can manage to make some general sense out of this chapter. I tried to use the line divider thingy to separate the jumps in time, but I don't know... Oh well, here it was. Hope you liked it!***


	26. Chapter 26

***I do not own Fairy Tail, nor its characters or its storyline. If I did, I wouldn't be releasing these lovelies right now after all. Be grateful for that! Now things are becoming confusing again, but I am trying to clear up a few confusing components in my story, so things are slowly being explained on the way. Be patient with me, will you? Of course, if you took your time and read my story up until my 25th chapter I guess you ought to have some patience. I have one word that describes this story well. Mindfuck. Doesn't mean it has ceased to make sense. It can make perfect sense. It just messes a lot around with your brain in the process.***

"Congratulations, Natsu Dragneel, son of Igneel." a voice called out. The boy in question was sitting in a room, unbound but also unable to move. He was sitting at a desk, surrounded by children that rested their heads on their own desks, staring emptily ahead into nothingness. They were all dead, after all. The floor was soaked in their blood, as were the walls.

"Who are you?" the Dragon Slayer yelled, tried in vain to get his limbs to work, only succeeding in moving his head to look at his surroundings. A classroom? When he looked down he also noticed that he himself was a kid, roughly the same age as the dead children surrounding him. What was this?

"Interesting. You can actually see their faces, though you can't really focus on them since you never met them before. My father told me it was possible that subjects could decipt other people nightmares early on in rare cases, but you really are something." the voice seemed amused, and Natsu snapped his head forward where a boy was sitting, roughly around Lucy's age, smiling at him. Red splatters decorated his face, soaked his once upon a time white shirt and dripped from the katana he was resting on his knee. The boy sat on the teachers desk, casually and laid back, one foot dangling from over the edge, the other rested near his torso, lifting his knee up so he had something to rest the sharp and bloodied weapon on. His hair was short and slick due to the sweat he no doubt had worked up massacring the young ones. His silver eyes were fixed on Natsu where he sat in his younger form, utterly helpless and also utterly unharmed.

"I know you..." the scarfed boy said, feeling his anger rise. Not that he could move. Yet.

"I bet you do, I did make quite a few appearances after all." the boy with the silver eyes didn't seem moved by the determination the other male showed. He actually seemed pretty bored.

"You were the one that TOOK her!" Natsu practically roared, and even though it lost some sting when uttered in his young voice, it still held a great deal of rage.

"Yes, I was. I was the one that tried to kill her too, though you managed to stop me while being drugged, no less."

"YOU BASTARD!" he tossed himself at the bind, itching to get to the person that talked of murder as if it was nothing.

"Thank you for that." the silver eyed boy muttered silently, his nonchalant smile fading. What?

"What?" this was unexpected. Why was he THANKING him for foiling his plan? The boy still deserved a good few punches for doing what he did, but... Natsu was curious as to why the bastard actually seemed grateful due to the fact that he failed.

"I said... Thank you for stopping me. I have done quite enough killing for a while, don't you think?" his smile returned at that, and he held out his hands, as if the scene in front of him held an excuisite art piece. When Natsu looked about he suddenly noticed that the walls started leaking blood, almost black, gooey liquid running down and slowly turning the floor into a pond. Since Natsu couldn't move as of yet it soon started soaking through his sandals, flowing past his feet. He turned back to the boy.

"What is this place?" Natsu asked, tried ignoring the liquid that kept rising, slowly but certainly. It was lukewarm, resembling the temperature of fresh blood.

"Lucy Heartfilia was sitting in the very seat you are sitting in now, witnessing me as I killed the children you see about here now. I was about to kill her too, you know, when I saw the spark. The spark they all lacked. The spark of a soul that was badly damaged, but not completely broken. My father deals in fears, Natsu Dragneel. He finds your deepest fears, and make you live through them again and again until your soul breaks, and you eventually kill yourself."

"So this is Lucy's nightmare?"

"This isn't a nightmare, fool. Not for her. Her worst fear is to lose those dear to her, so her nightmares always involve Fairy Tail. Fairy Tail dead. Fairy Tail being killed or hurt. Fairy Tail alienating her. This is MY nightmare. The day I made it impossible for her to ever forgive me." the boy with the silver eyes got up, waded through the blood that now was ankle deep.

"If you stay too long my nightmare will poison you, and eventually make you go mad, so I have little time."

"Why did you kill these people?" Natsu demanded to know, and the older boy rolled his eyes.

"Their souls were broken, dimwit. Shattered and rendering them empty shells that could do nothing but suffer. I did them a favor by ending their suffering before my father got his filthy hands on them. But enough of that. I didn't bring you here to tell you my little sob story. I want you to kill my dad."

"What?!"

"My father was the one to set his eyes on her in the first place, kid, and he's not about to give up since she's managed to escape him TWICE."

"Gildarts took care of that man already, he's probably heavily injured and imprisoned as we speak!" Natsu wasn't stupid, he knew that Gildarts had captured the doctor that supposedly owned the place where Lucy had been held captive, and he had dealt with him. Intentionally or not Gildarts would've caused some damage. Perhaps not enough, but Natsu figured the rest of his life spent in prison would work as punishment enough.

"Are you REALLY that thick, dragon boy? The man deals in nightmares, or more specifically your WORST nightmares. The man might not be able to throw a punch quite like your friend, but he can snap your soul in half in no time. He's killed hundreds, maybe thousands in his lifetime. You think some Rune Knights will be able to hold him? Find him, and stop him. Before he gets to you. Rip him to pieces, drown him, burn him, I don't care. He's loose, and he needs to be stopped." he paused, looked at the boy that was frozen in the chair, the blood now reaching him to the waist since he was sitting and since he was a little boy at the moment. Past the silver eyed boy he suddenly noticed the figure of a small blonde sitting on the teachers desk, her eyes wide open and her breath going erratically. Little Lucy. Her legs were dangling over the edge, the blood reaching them now, soaking her bare feet. Her whole figure was transparent. A projection.

"Aggo? What are you doing? Why are you doing this? I'm scared. Why aren't they moving..?" her childish voice echoed through the room as if she wasn't really there. As if she was a mere ghost. She kept asking questions. Kept repeating how she was scared. Kept asking why. The boy with the silver eyes swore, and the scarfed boy thought he saw real hurt moving across his face. Real despair. He wasn't untouched by this dream. More bodies started to appear from the red, floating and faceless, increasing in numbers while the red kept rising.

"He needs to be stopped." the boy with the silver eyes said again, and then raised his hand, touched the forehead of the Dragon Slayer that now had blood up to his chin. In the background little Lucy was crying now, tears streaming down her face as she stared at the two boys.

"I don't want to die." she almost whispered, her eyes suddenly focusing on the boy that didn't belong there.

* * *

FLASHBACK

After the sexual assault that was witnessed, again, by the entirety of the guild, the boy righted himself into a sitting position, dragging me by the waist with him. My blood was boiling, going into dysfunctional mode where I merely sat there blushing and letting him be the lead again since he just got back from the world of insanity where he apparently found it perfectly legit to just.. kiss me.. out of the blue. I should be glad he didn't go further, or he might've started another fire judging from his rising body temperature. This was awkward.

After a silence that followed the action of my former partner, including the somewhat stunned Lisanna Strauss, Mira eventually made her way over to lead the girl away. People were shocked. Sure, he had kissed me in public once before, but that had been a quick kiss, a peck in comparison to... I blushed an even deeper shade of red but remained silent.

* * *

FLASHBACK CONTINUES, THIRD PERSON P.O.V... FUN FACT, THIS IS BEFORE AND AT THE SAME TIME AS THE DREAM THIS CHAPTER BEGINS WITH

She had finally gone out and said it. The reason for her fears. The reason why she flinched every time someone touched her without giving her a fair warning first. Master Makarov sat on the counter, staring at the girl that now sat beet red next to the one person she didn't fear the touch of. None of the names of the people she had mentioned were the names of people that were dead. They were in fact all in this very guildhall, staring at her just as stunned over her words just as they were outright shocked due to the kiss Natsu so openly had initiated. But reality or not. Someone HAD removed the knowledge of Lucy Heartfilia from the minds of all Fairy Tail mages, Natsu being an exception. Inserting memories didn't lie too far from that, though one would have to wonder where the culprit had gotten the means to create artificial memories.

Even after all the things that might make the girl wish to hit the boy in the head and run away, she remained by his side, soon closing her eyes and trying to fall asleep. Surprisingly it was the boy who first succumbed after diligantly ignoring the occasional stares and the congratulations coming from the older males in the guild. Lucy got some more food from Mira after a while, which she ate in silence. Mirajane Strauss cared for this girl. She had felt the connection even when she first had arrived at the guild, filthy and scared, lightly touching her hand before deeming her safe for the moment. There definitely was something there, something tugging at her, something deep within her that urged her to remember.

Lisanna had told the older girl of her discovery with the apartment. Mira had of course been curious, and had ventured over to the place, sneaking in through the window, something that somehow felt completely natural. A pink room had met her, tidy but dusty, clearly not occupied for some time. Lots of books filled the shelves, some of them with the name of Levy McGarden in them, lent to whoever used to live here. On that same shelf there was a picture of Team Natsu. Erza, Gray, Happy and Natsu was smiling brightly at her from it, along with a blonde the older Strauss sister didn't recognize. She seemed so happy there. They all did. Other than that, Mirajane managed to locate dumbbells belonging to Natsu in the apartment, along with clothes belonging to Gray. Then she found the letter. A letter addressed to the strangers mother.

Dear Mother in heaven.

The dreams are getting worse. I don't know how long I'm going to last, especially since it has started to affect my magical abilities. Erza insisted on me accompanying them on this mission, so I agreed to it though I mostly are coming along as bait. Natsu doesn't know that yet, I don't know how he'll take it since he's been a bit weird since the things that happened on the 7th. Like he's afraid of me leaving. At least he forgave me for the scare I caused him.

I think I might quit Team Natsu. Not because I really want to, but really, at the moment I am more of a liability than anything. THEY might stop asking me to quit the guild if I distance myself for a while. I'm scared. Tired. Perhaps Mira'll have something that'll help me get better before the mission.

Lucy H.

The note had been written in a hurry. Mira remembered how it had tugged at her memory. She'd recognized the girl from the photo the moment Gildarts came wandering in with her. The lost girl. She held her tongue though, knew better than to make a fuss. Things would be revealed soon enough anyways, so she tended to the girl now, fed her and kept her safe. Natsu was obviously attached to her through other means than mere instinctual hormones caused by some mark she only knew the details regarding after a.. talk.. with a sort of frightened Gajeel. They were cute, Lucy and Natsu. Partners, apparently. Mira smiled and took the plate from the girl that the moment after snuggled up against the Dragon Slayer and fell asleep as well, gaining a more peaceful expression. The barmaid smiled softly before returning to her job, serving her patrons. Her family.

FLASHBACK END

* * *

THE MIND OF LUCY

They're dead. Dead like the rest. Dead like the screamers, the criers and the shouters. Dead like the beaters. I was the only runner. The others never thought of running. They never thought of opening the cage, for beyond the cage darkness awaits. Beyond the cage, the nightmares of others wait. But I kept running. Running and running, following paths towards freedom. A true Fairy never gives up.

In front of me only emptiness lay, a big field with nothing and no one in it, a field with tall grass swaying in the wind. I was alone. Utterly alone, with the infinite blue sky rising above me while I remembered my past in this dream. I knew it was a dream. A good dream. An empty dream. A dream that allowed me to think. I still ran, but only out of habit now, rather than out of necessity.

I had been running. Running in the dark, running and getting caught in nightmares that were dark and sinister but that didn't belong to me. I'd heard whispering from someone. Whispering telling me of the reason why no one ever escaped from Fear. The remnants of the dead and dying resided in the halls, shadows lurching and waiting for those who ventured there to let their guard down. If the light ever went out in the halls of what I had believed to be Fear, the shadows would consume you and drive you mad with old nightmares that merged into each other, ripping at your mind until everything that was you shattered. That was why the scientists died. That was why the rescuers died. In the dark it awaited, the poison that would drive everyone mad eventually.

* * *

THE GUILDHALL

"I'm sorry, but is this Fairy Tail?" a voice called out, a timid voice belonging to a very timid person. Pink hair, horns sticking out on either side. A white dress made solely out of wool. The guildmembers stared at the being that was there, timid and beautiful, making her self conscious no doubt.

"I'm sorry if I interrupted anything, but I was told that a man called Loke attended a guild called Fairy Tail. Does anyone know where he is? Sorry." she looked about, her eyes searching for the being she hadn't seen for some time. Her eyes landed on the couple sleeping on the couch too for a brief moment, but there was no recognition, or at least she hid it well if there was.

"I'm sorry, dear, but Loke is out on a mission. He is expected back in a few days time." Master Makarov said in a kind voice, over from his usual spot by the bar. The girl bowed and apologized some more before leaving the building, muttering something about being back in a few days time then.

* * *

He opened his eyes with a start, surprised to find out that he was sleeping in the sofa, his head lolling to the side in a kind of uncomfortable position. As he lifted his head, blinking and feeling the stiffness of his complaining neck, he noticed that Lucy was sitting next to him, still sleeping soundly. Oh. OOHH.. he remembered now, the dragon slayer. Once more he blinked, yawned loudly and thusly alerting his fellow guild-mates that he had woken up.

"Gramps!" he yelled after stretching his body some, and got a grunt in return, a grunt that told him he could go on. Natsu Dragneel turned to face Master, a serious look on his face. It had been a dream. Just a dream. Not a good dream, a grim and highly uncomfortable dream in fact. Still, even if it remained a dream, he wanted to confirm what the boy had claimed. The boy with the silver eyes. Aggo, was it not?

"That man Gildarts caught. The man that held Lucy prisoner..." he began, watching as the guildmaster shifted uncomfortably, something that told him what he didn't want to be the truth.

"He isn't imprisoned anymore, is he." he continued, changed the sentence so it no longer held a question mark. The the old man sighed, shook his head.

"No. No, he is not." he confirmed.

***Oh my, what will happen next? I guess we'll all find out! Or not. Guess I'll have to write the next chapter before I can say that for certain. I know, the timeline was REALLY moving back and forth in this chapter. I tried marking the sections in order to give it more sense, but it might still be confusing.***


End file.
